Beware of the family feud at Christmas, which can change inheritance decisions

Family disputes at Christmas can change inheritance decisions and result in lengthy legal disputes.

One in five people would disinherit a family member over a dispute, and one in three would exclude a family member from their will because they didn’t like them, research shows.

One in six would also write someone out of a will because they did not visit them enough, and one in four if they had isolated themselves from their family, the Lime Solicitors poll found.

Christmas may be the happiest time of the year, but when the whole family gets together it can also be the perfect time for arguments, the company warns.

Debra Burton, inheritance litigation partner at Lime, said: ‘The most common reason people exclude relatives from their wills is because of personal feelings and animosity.

> Below you will find tips on preventing conflicts within the family about inheritance

Disinheriting a family member: Arguments, personal animosity and failure to visit can lead to family members being cut out of their will

“Because so many family members come into close proximity, Christmas celebrations can often bring unresolved tensions to the surface,” says Burton.

“If these tensions develop into something more serious, those who wrote wills may decide to disinherit family members.”

Lime’s research also found that almost half of people would contest a will if they were excluded from it, turning an argument after someone’s death into a more entrenched legal dispute.

It surveyed 1,000 people aged 16 and over, weighted to be representative of the UK population.

How do you avoid an inheritance dispute?

Debra Burton from Lime Solicitors offers the following advice on dealing with family members about this difficult subject.

Notice: Discuss wishes with family members so that the will does not come as a big surprise

Don’t overpromise: Some people do not like confrontation or potentially upsetting a family member and for an ‘easy or quiet life’ they may make promises or representations/assurances to their family that were not intended to be binding.

This could be anything from who will inherit the family farm to who you want to own your treasured record collection.

It is much better to say nothing than to make a light-hearted comment that someone trusts or takes seriously.

Debra Burton: Discuss wishes with family members so that the will does not come as a big surprise

Debra Burton: Discuss wishes with family members so that the will does not come as a big surprise

Formalize your wishes: Make a will and set out what you really want to happen, rather than leaving it all to one person and saying ‘they know what I want to happen’. This can be disastrous.

If everything is left up to that person, it is legally up to them to do what they want. If they do not get along well with the stepchildren, for example, they will not follow the wishes.

Even if the families all get along, that’s a lot of pressure and responsibility to put on someone who may not be 100 percent sure what your wishes were and who is very likely grieving themselves.

Get legal advice: Make sure that your wishes are legally binding and that any will complies with all formalities.

If a dispute about your will is likely to arise after you die, the lawyer can try to minimize this by ensuring that you have legal capacity, that you know and approve the contents of your will and that you are free to are under unnecessary pressure.

This is all recorded in the will file. The will will then be the main evidence for the court to consider and the lawyer will be a key witness to whose evidence the court is likely to give great weight.

> How to make a watertight will: 10 tips to make your last wishes come true – and to avoid mistakes

Do you have an inheritance dilemma or problem? We can help

This is Money readers often contact us about legal disputes, and we ask lawyers to answer their questions anonymously.

My daughter has excluded me from a £250,000 investment fund I set up for her. How can I disinherit her?

How do we prevent our troubled child from gambling away his inheritance?

Can my father with dementia leave his house to me after my sister financially abused him?

If you need help with an inheritance issue, write to us at experts@thisismoney.co.uk. Please put ERVING in the subject line.