My friend got together with my ex-husband and I stopped speaking to her – but then I realised it was silly to fall out and now we’re as close as sisters
A woman is best friends with her ex-husband and his new partner, and they are all raising their children together.
Pub owner Rachel Young, 36, from Berwick-upon-Tweed, Northumberland, first met Gillian Knox, 40, 16 years ago.
At the time, Rachel was married to Alan Malone, 39, and Gillian was married to one of his friends.
The two couples would socialize together and Gillian would look after Rachel and Alan’s daughter Alexa, now 14.
In 2014, Alan and Rachel split after six years together, and in the same year Gillian and her ex-husband ended their 13-year relationship.
Later that year, Gillian and Alan fell in love and started dating, leading to an argument with Rachel, who only wanted to communicate with the couple about childcare for Alexa.
However, over time, Rachel and Gillian realized it was ‘stupid’ to be at odds with each other and started attending Alexa’s parents’ evenings and school events together – and they are now best friends.
Pub owner Rachel Young, 36, (second from left) from Berwick-upon-Tweed, Northumberland, is best friends with her ex-husband Alan Malone, 39 (second from right) and his new partner Gillian Knox, 40 (right). Left: Rachel’s new partner Stephen, 41
They gradually rebuilt their relationships and now hang out with their children – Zach, four, Rory, two, and Hallie, two, and partners – Alan and Stephen, 41.
Rachel said: ‘We’re best friends. It’s almost sisterly or cousinly. It’s just a really nice relationship. It makes life easier.
‘I don’t feel like there’s anything I can’t talk to Gillian about. It’s a matter of taking your hands off the table.’
Gillian said: ‘There’s no awkwardness. It’s more like she’s a family member. As a co-parent, life is so simple: it’s wonderful. We are all friends. We are completely immersed in each other’s lives.’
Gillian was friends with Alan through her ex-husband and said the friends always hung out with their partners.
Gillian said: “I used to look after Alexa a lot. Alan and Rachel came to my wedding.’
Gillian split from her ex-husband in 2014 after 13 years together, and Alan and Rachel, who were together for six years, split the same year.
Gillian did a few shifts for Alan’s catering company and the pair grew close and started dating later that year.
Best friends with Rachel’s ex-husband Alan and her new partner Stephen all go out for drinks together
Rachel (left) and Gillian (right) first met 16 years ago through Rachel’s ex-husband, Alan
Rachel’s daughter Alexa also has a very close bond with Gillian’s daughter Hallie and her half-brother Rory
She said: ‘We spent a lot of time together. We ended up as a couple. Rachel and I drifted off, of course.
‘We couldn’t communicate. We had to go through Alan. We avoided each other.’
Rachel met Stephen, with whom she runs the pub, in July 2014 but despite finding a new partner she struggled to communicate with Gillian and only texted Alan to arrange childcare.
She said: ‘I didn’t have any problems with anyone. When that relationship ended [with Alan] I made it clear that that life was over.
‘It was just a bit petty. It was a bit awkward at first because it was all so charged.’
But in 2017, Rachel and Gillian finally started talking again. Gillian said: “We need to make sure Alexa is number one – and we realized it wasn’t.
“Rachel called to say she needed the Rainbows uniform. She would drop it off to Alan at some point.
Gillian (left) and Rachel (right) used to communicate only through Alan to arrange childcare for Rachel’s daughter, Alexa, 14 (center)
Gillian found it difficult when Rachel became pregnant with Zach, four, (centre) as she tried to have a child of her own. But shortly after Rachel had Rory, two, (left), Gillian discovered she was pregnant with Hallie, now two (right)
Rachel and Gillian text every day and when they’re not on playdates with the kids, they go out for afternoon dates and drinks together
‘I saw her walking down the street with it. I thought, ‘This is stupid, I can’t just walk past you.’ I asked, “Do you want me to take the uniform?” It broke the ice.”
Gillian decided to ask Rachel out for coffee, they discussed their problems and put them to bed.
They went to parents’ evenings, school concerts, and dental appointments together for Alexa.
Rachel said: “I think things just changed naturally. It’s all in Alexa’s favor; she is the most important.’
The four of them slowly started hanging out again and going to restaurants and pubs together.
Gillian found it difficult when Rachel became pregnant with four-year-old Zach, as she tried to have a child of her own.
But shortly after Rachel had Rory, two, Gillian discovered she was pregnant with Hallie, now two.
Now all the kids play together and the families can hang out without hostility
Gillian, pictured with her children Zach, Rory and Hailie, said the children were raised as cousins and all live just a few minutes’ drive away from each other.
The friends are now raising their children together as they live close by (photo: Rory and Hallie)
She said: “It was lovely spending time with Rory as a newborn while she was pregnant. Now we always look out for each other.’
Rachel says: ‘When she became pregnant, the relationship accelerated again. We started catching up more often and interacting more socially with each other.’
Gillian said the children were raised as cousins and they all live just a few minutes’ drive away from each other.
Rachel and Gillian text every day and when they’re not on playdates with the kids, they go out for afternoon dates and drinks together.
Gillian said: ‘This year on Mother’s Day we went to a posh place for afternoon tea to treat ourselves. This year we also celebrated New Year’s Eve together for the first time.’
Rachel said: “I am grateful to Gillian for taking on my daughter. Alexa is the person she is because of both of us.
“It’s getting to the point where she doesn’t want to talk to me about things anymore. But I know she’ll go to Gillian.’