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A principal dancer with the New York City Ballet (NYCB) has revealed she was “strongly encouraged” not to perform at the famed troupe’s star-studded fall gala this year because of her “looks.”
Ashley Bouder, 38, has been a principal dancer with the NYCB since 2005 and began her journey as a ballerina more than three decades ago with the Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet.
The 38-year-old reflected on her career in an explosive social media video posted to her Instagram, in which she realized that not much had changed since she first embarked on her professional career.
Bouder told a story from the beginning of her career, aged 16, saying she was first confronted with her weight in Saratoga, New York, during a three-week summer season while dancing small parts.
“Walking down the hall one day between rehearsals, I was pulled aside by an influential ballet mistress who said the big boss really liked me,” she said.
‘[She said that she] wanted to use me in bigger roles right away, but for that to happen I would have to think about losing five to ten pounds.”
Ashley Bouder, 38, posted a video to Instagram showing she was “strongly encouraged” not to perform at NYC Ballet’s fall gala this year because of her “appearance”
The 38-year-old looked back at her career in the explosive video and realized that not much had changed since she started her professional career at the age of 16.
Bouder wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t lost weight, adding that body shaming is “institutionalized” and “systemic.”
“As I reach the twilight of my career, body shaming is still a big thing and it’s still happening to me, which is heartbreaking,” she said.
“If you all remember the fall gala, New York City ballet, when it was announced that I was being replaced at the last minute in Symphony in C, people thought it was due to injury, but it wasn’t.
“I was too embarrassed to reveal the truth at the time, but I was strongly encouraged not to perform because of my appearance.”
Instead, Bouder showed up at the gala and had to watch another ballerina dance in her role after the last minute.
She said she put on a brave face for her daughter, Violet, who had attended the event with her husband Peter de Florio.
“I sat respectfully in the audience and watched another ballerina dance in my place as I sat next to my daughter who takes ballet,” she said.
‘No one was there to protect me, the systems, the social norms, the attitude of ballet, that was the problem.
“I thought or maybe hoped we’d be past this, but clearly we’re not and now I’ve had a situation that took me right back to that embarrassment.”
Bouder ended by saying that the term “fat” was commonplace and often used in a harmful way against dancers.
Bouder was embarrassed to reveal why she was cut from the fall gala performance at the last minute instead of appearing in the audience with her daughter Violet and husband David H. Koch
Bouder did not name the board members who made these comments, but denounced the industry, saying body shaming is “institutionalized” and “systemic”
“As ballet dancers, we really hear the word fat whether it applies or not. And that’s how toxic the culture around body weight really is,” she said.
In the fall of 2021, she tore the plantar fascia in her left foot and was sidelined for about a year, gaining about 10 pounds, the New York Post reported.
Bouder chose not to identify the people who had commented on her appearance, saying she was only speaking out for future generations coming into the industry who deserved transparency.
“But honestly, sitting there and even thinking about her mental health in the future, I fear for all of our children,” she said.
“I would like to move beyond the lure of the ‘ballet body’ to the idea of the ‘healthy body’.
This year’s gala honored Sarah Jessica Parker, Vice President of New York City Ballet, for her vision and leadership of the Fall Fashion Gala.
Powerful gala seats included Georgina Bloomberg, daughter of former mayor Michael Bloomberg; Bravo host/producer Andy Cohen, and actors Laverne Cox and Claire Danes.
After her career-ending injury, Bouder excitedly took to social media in September to announce her comeback to the stage.
‘Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years! Lol, over 22 to be exact,” she wrote.
“This is my 23rd season with @nycballet and in just one week I will be back on stage at Lincoln Center since October 12, 2021.
She danced in ‘The Nutcracker’ and ‘Serenade’ and won the prestigious Prix Benois de la Dance in 2019 for her role of Swanilda in ‘Coppelia’
Bouder insisted she has no plans to quit or sue NYCB and hopes to finish her career by making positive changes
“This injury, after the long COVID break, left me in a lot of trouble both physically and mentally. It’s been a tough year for me in terms of my choice of career, but I’m finally coming out on the other side.’
In her revealing tell-all Instagram live, she said the pandemic and her injury had left her with extremely poor mental health, and would often feel judged by other dancers.
Bouder danced with the ballet on September 20, 23 and even on September 30, two days after the big event, the gala.
She wanted to emphasize that her 21 minute, 11 second post was not meant to “throw anyone under the bus.”
But said, ‘I can’t keep silent anymore, I’m past the embarrassment. I’m tired of it. I want to normalize the expression of body-shaming.’
Bouder said she has received “hundreds of messages of support” so far.
“Thank you for your openness and honesty about such a difficult and taboo subject that so many of us in the dance world have dealt with,” said one person.
“You are a true ballet icon, an inspiration and a force to be reckoned with both on and off stage,” said another.
Bouder was named an apprentice with the New York City Ballet in June 2000 and joined the corps de ballet in October.
She was promoted to the rank of soloist in February 2004 and in January 2005 she became a principal dancer with NYCB.
Bouder danced in ‘The Nutcracker’ and ‘Serenade’ and won the prestigious Prix Benois de la Dance, ballet version of the Oscars, in 2019 for her role of Swanilda in ‘Coppelia’.
The ballet competition is held annually in Moscow.
She also directs her own company, The Ashley Bouder Project, an arts collaboration “dedicated to promoting women and diversity in creative and leadership roles in the world of the performing arts.”
Bouder insisted she has no plans to quit or sue NYCB.
“My goal is to finish my career but make positive changes in the dance world as a whole,” she said