Avicii reflects on how fame impacted him in harrowing new Netflix documentary that shows haunting footage of his final years

A new Netflix documentary shows Tim Bergling, also known as Avicii, reflecting on the influence fame had on him before he committed suicide in 2018 at the age of 28.

Using hours of moving footage from friends, colleagues and family, Avicii – I’m Tim provides a moving insight into the life of the Swedish DJ.

The 90-minute film, directed by Henrik Burman, features his first photo – a baby scan from 1989 – and his very last – a photo of him meditating just days before he committed suicide in Oman on April 20, 2018.

It also features Tim’s own story from a late-career interview, following the superstar DJ from his idyllic childhood in Stockholm to the global fame he achieved with hits such as Wake Me Up and Hey Brother.

But it was the song Levels that really launched his music career and has since been streamed over a billion times on Spotify.

“Everything started off in an incredible way with Levels,” Avicii says in the documentary.

‘I could afford a tour manager, I didn’t have to fly everywhere. I was young, I was hungry. I went from small clubs to big clubs to theaters and amphitheatres.’

But as his fame grew, so did the pile of party invitations he received – and Avicii, who was 22 at the time, began drinking excessively.

“It was just all new and it was a big celebration,” he said. ‘I realized the magic cure is to just have a few drinks before you go on, which loosens you up a bit and makes it a completely different experience.

“I just took everything I could. I didn’t even know before that you could actually do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but once that was open you could tour for a whole year.”

Tim, who described himself as an introvert and anxious person, used alcohol to “loosen up” before going on stage so he could adopt the “persona” of Avicii.

“I didn’t like being a persona,” he said. ‘I didn’t like having to be Avicii and then have to be Tim. It’s still very confusing, I still don’t really understand it.’

In 2012, Tim was hospitalized with pancreatitis due to excessive drinking.

He said: ‘I’ve been drinking excessively for a few years and the doctors said, ‘You can’t drink that much anymore, you need to calm down.’ I knew this would probably bite me in the ass if I didn’t do something about it.”

Throughout the documentary, Tim’s closest friends and family members add their own stories.

One of the people who spent hours with Avicii in the studio was Neil Jacobson, president of Geffen Records.

In the Netflix documentary, Neil recalled how traveling the world had an impact on Tim.

‘I knew that touring was really taking its toll. “I knew he hated it,” he said. “It was hard not to notice the size of his team, the mentality he was in, the stress he was under, the frustration, getting more and more frustrated.”

Explaining why he felt so frustrated with his newfound fame, Tim said: ‘I was a lot happier before I became famous than after I was famous.

‘I started to feel very empty and unhappy. I was just in autopilot mode. I just acted a certain way because I thought this is how you’re supposed to act, this is how you’re supposed to act.”

Although his net worth was estimated at around $50 million when he died in 2018, the DJ acknowledged that it was “never about money.”

He said, “The only real monetary goal I ever had was the freedom that money gives you, and I felt that freedom after being able to take a cab anywhere I wanted, eat out and pay the rent.

‘Just like buying cars, I don’t enjoy that. Artists are people, we are people who create s*** and then they are thrown into an environment, an industry, where it’s about chasing how many views you have, how many comments.

“You can’t have a single meeting with someone in the industry without him mentioning 60 different statistics and why this is better than that.

“I was running after an idea of ​​happiness that wasn’t mine. Back then I didn’t even like making music because it was just too much. I don’t know how to solve this.’

Tim’s friend, Jesse Waits, described how Avicii’s performances were canceled as his mental health took a dip.

“It was hard to see from the outside what the problem was,” Jesse said, adding that Tim’s career had taken off and he had a family who loved and supported him.

‘At that moment I just realized he was taking painkillers. I think that pushed him back into a deeper hole.

‘When people use opioids, their eyes change and become stuck. The black parts of your eyes turn into small pins. And I could see his eyes wide open like a zombie, you know? And he just wasn’t there.

“For him, he justified it as suppressing his fear, but it only created more fear afterwards.”

In his own words, Tim described his fear as a ‘stone in my gut’ that was there ‘constantly’.

Ultimately, his management team intervened.

“I went to psychiatrists,” Tim revealed in the documentary. ‘I went to doctors. I have tried so many different diets. I tried to start training.

“My dream would be to be completely comfortable and completely happy with what I already have and not really have the ambition to do a billion other things. I try to find balance. Balance in life with my friends and family.’

After taking a break from his music career, Tim traveled the world and took his friends with him.

As a result, he said he felt “the same kind of spirit” he felt when he was 18.

“Being free makes me very happy,” he said. ‘By not feeling tied down, not feeling pushed in all kinds of directions. When I make music without expectations.’

During this time, the DJ even tapped into his spiritual side and learned to do transcendental meditation with his ‘voodoo doctor’.

“He was in a good place,” his friend Jesse recalled. “Like one of the best places I’ve seen it.”

In 2018, Tim decided to travel to Oman and made plans to make music with Geffen Records president Neil upon his return.

After their phone call to arrange a whole series of recording sessions, Neil said: ‘We hung up and he flew to Oman and I never thought about it.

“I thought it was just another Tuesday, and that was the last time I spoke to him.”

Tim tragically took his own life near Muscat, Oman on April 20, 2018.

His friend Jesse said: ‘I don’t really think anyone knows why or what happened. No one knows what was going through his mind. Everyone can speculate.

“He seemed good to everyone I talked to who were around him. He was in a good place.

‘I’m sure everyone feels that way, if they had been there they could have changed something. Especially his family.’

After his death, Tim’s family released a statement saying, “Our beloved Tim was a seeker, a fragile artistic soul looking for answers to existential questions.

‘An overachieving perfectionist who traveled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress. When he stopped touring, he wanted to find a balance in life to be happy and do what he loved most: music.

‘He really struggled with thoughts about Meaning, Life, Happiness. Now he could go no further. He wanted to find peace.

‘Tim was not made for the business machine he found himself in; he was a sensitive man who loved his fans but shunned the spotlight. Tim, you will forever be loved and sadly missed. The person you were and your music will keep your memory alive

“We love you, the Tim Bergling family.”

In a poignant moment in the documentary, American singer Aloe Blacc analyzes the lyrics of the song SOS, which he sang in 2019 as part of Avicii’s posthumous album Tim.

‘Can you hear me, SOS? Help me to calm my thoughts.’

Looking at the lyrics and fighting back tears, the singer said, “It felt like we got a cry for help and I’m receiving this letter from Tim way too late.”

Avicii – I’m Tim is available on Netflix, alongside a recording of his final live performance Avicii – My Last Show.

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