An author has accused her husband of writing scathing reviews of her new novel online.
The advice seeker, identified by the pseudonym ‘Sleeping With the Enemy’, wrote in to Emily Gould of The Cut for advice after noticing a barrage of highly negative comments, which drove down the online ratings of her just-released book.
‘After many years of struggle, I recently published my latest novel. Great news: it’s a hit! Well, it’s not a huge hit, but it’s gotten really good reviews, won a few awards, and has sold more copies than both of my other books combined,” the letter began.
She went on to say that while she knows she shouldn’t “dwell on the negativity I’ve received on the internet,” she can’t help but be bothered by some of the specific “cruelty” that is on the book focused, “some of it quite personal,” on Twitter, Goodreads, Amazon, and “other corners of the internet.”
A woman wrote to The Cut columnist Emily Gould after becoming suspicious that her own husband was the driving force behind the online hate her book received
She described how her husband – also a writer – has been incredibly supportive of her efforts in writing and publishing the book. At least, on the surface.
“He stood by my side through the long and arduous writing process, cheerfully clinking champagne glasses with me as the book began to attract attention and accolades he himself could never have dreamed of, and patiently holding the camera while I recorded my promotional TikToks, she wrote.
“Most importantly, he has held my hand and comforted me through all the online harassment. I couldn’t have done it without him.
‘At least that’s what I thought. For reasons too complicated to go into, I’m beginning to strongly suspect that my loved one has used a series of anonymous accounts to post some of the most negative and cruel comments about the book.
‘In fact, I believe he may be the main source of the hatred directed towards me, probably driven by jealousy that I have achieved something he never could.’
Yet the woman was only 85 percent certain of her hypothesis that her husband was behind the “hate” against her bubbling up online.
She considered “snooping on his computer” – but she had been caught doing so before, and their “marriage suffered” after the man discovered this.
“I know that if I confronted him with my suspicions, he would again accuse me of invading his privacy,” she admitted.
On the surface, the man – also a writer – had supported his wife in writing her book and celebrated its success with her after it was published.
‘Although this is not the case, I would have great difficulty explaining myself. But lately I can’t even look at him without feeling sick to my stomach at the thought of what he might write about me and my book.”
‘I’ve even fantasized about hiring a private investigator to find out the truth. I can’t go on like this. What should I do?’ she concluded.
Emily couldn’t give too definitive an answer without more details about the basis of the woman’s suspicions.
However, she did encourage the advice seeker to ‘snoop away’.
‘Invade your privacy! Invade it until you find out if your 85 percent certainty is 100 percent or 0 percent valid,” she advised.
“Normally I would never suggest this, but in this case you really need to know if your husband is harassing you online, and snooping through his laptop yourself makes a lot more sense than hiring a private investigator.”
If the woman turned out to be right about her husband, Emily said she had to “confront him.”
“If he denies it and you have irrefutable proof, then your marriage, to put it bluntly, sucks. There is no going back if he has done something like that if he doesn’t regret it; that is sociopath behavior,” she said.
But, she added, if he “admits his crimes and shows remorse, your path becomes more complicated.” Can you ever forgive him? … Only you know how much work you are willing to put into repairing your relationship.”
That said, it’s entirely possible that her “fear is unfounded.”
“That might be where the real work begins,” Emily pointed out.
“Aside from the reasons you think are too complicated to go into, have you thought deep down about why he would do this? If you even suspect that your husband is capable of this level of betrayal, there is something really wrong between the two of you, and it needs to be addressed, ideally in counseling.”
Finally, Emily emphasized that the woman needed to work on “avoiding online hate.” I know the appeal of looking yourself up on Twitter and reading zero-star reviews on Goodreads and the like.”
“I’ve done it all,” Emily, also an author of several books, further admitted.
‘It’s normal to be curious about how your book is perceived by readers and critics, but at some point it makes more sense to withdraw from the screen for self-preservation. Haters, as they say, gonna hate.”