A bride has been praised for ‘standing her ground’ and removing an ‘absent’ bridesmaid from her bridal party, but some claim she was ‘too harsh’ with her decision.
Kate, the bride, was hesitant to ask Sally, a friend of her fiancé’s family, to be a bridesmaid because they didn’t know each other well.
Kate wrote on Reddit that Sally was “very happy to be there,” but Sally refused to do anything that a couple should do, nor did she respond to group chats or plans.
Sally eventually criticised the bride for ‘asking too much of her’, claiming that the constant stream of messages was ‘exhausting’ and that was why she never responded.
The bride eventually had enough of Sally’s reluctance to participate and decided to kick her out of the wedding party.
In her post, Kate shared what brought her to her breaking point.
“We have a few group texts for the bachelorette parties and weddings,” the bride said. “The first text I sent was a greeting and I asked the girls to introduce themselves via text so everyone had each other’s numbers. Everyone responded except Sally.
‘Weeks go by, the girls start asking for dresses so I send it to them, still nothing from Sally. My sister starts asking me who the extra number is in the chat and I start to worry so I invite Sally over for dinner.
A bride has been praised for ‘taking a stand’ and removing an ‘absent’ bridesmaid from her bridal party
‘While she’s there, I tell her I’m concerned and want her to respond to the group chat so we all know she’s included. She apologizes and reassures me that I have nothing to worry about and that she’s here for me if I need anything.’
Kate thought that was it, but Sally’s behavior did not improve.
‘A month later, Sally still hasn’t said anything in the group chat. The girls are now planning things for the Bachelorette, my sister is ordering t-shirts. She asked everyone’s shirt size, among other things, and Sally still hasn’t heard anything.
‘I’m really starting to worry about this because now my sister and the other bridesmaids have noticed that Sally didn’t say anything and are texting me separately about it.’
Kate decided to send Sally a message about her lack of effort
Kate decided she had enough of worrying about Sally’s commitment and spoke to her fiancé about it, as Sally is a friend of the family.
‘My fiancé decided to contact Sally and ask her if she plans on attending the wedding as we still haven’t heard from her and it’s causing me a lot of stress.
‘Sally sends my fiancé an angry text and sends me one too. She says we are asking too much of her and that she needs to focus on herself. She also tells me to stop worrying and that she ‘got over the exhaustion’ of trying to stand up for herself.
“I replied that we understand she’s going through something, but that she needs to be involved if she wants to be part of the bridal party. I told her that we love her and that she’s not alone and that we’re here if she needs anything.”
The little conflict happened over a month ago and Sally still hasn’t responded to the bride and groom.
Although they still plan to invite Sally, she is officially banned from the wedding party.
Many cheered Kate’s decision.
“My biggest regret at my wedding was not sending away a bridesmaid who acted like that,” one person said. “It made so much more work and stress for me to track her down for every little thing. It was honestly miserable.”
“She didn’t try. She was never ‘in’ in the first place, so you don’t just throw her out,” said another.
“You have to plan one of the most important events in your life and she cheated on you,” someone noted.
But some claimed the bride had “too high expectations.”
“All that planning should be optional,” someone said. “It’s great that your friends and family are doing all of this for you, but the wedding, the rehearsal, and I think the bridal shower are the only mandatory events.
‘We’ve gotten used to the perks like bachelorette parties and themed outfits and all that stuff, but it’s really a lot to ask of our loved ones.
“I’m sure she’s getting texts from a bunch of strangers on a regular basis asking her to commit to this party and that event – not just to attend, but to pay for things every time. She’s not handling it well, but she’s probably completely overwhelmed and feels like a bad friend for letting you and your fiancé down.”
Another added: ‘You should have discussed your expectations with Sally when you asked her to stand up for you. She is not part of the group and does not know how to handle the situation.’