As Kevin Costner’s wife filed for divorce because he ‘worked too much’, how to deal with workaholics

Kevin Costner’s wife has called it quits after 18 years of marriage — six months after she reportedly told him to quit hit series Yellowstone as his busy filming schedule affected their family.

Now, relationship experts have told FEMAIL that it’s not just the obvious betrayal, like cheating, that can be toxic to a partnership — but being obsessed with your career can also lead to negative consequences.

British dating coach Tina Wilson suggested that those, like the Hollywood star, who “consciously put their career first” are provoking “relationship disaster” if they don’t “compromise and prioritize” their partner.

Christine Baumgartner filed a petition on Monday to divorce the Oscar-winning actor, citing the reason for the split as “irreconcilable differences” and asking for joint custody of their three children – Cayden, 15, Hayes, 14, and Grace, 12.

But in October, Mrs. Baumgartner Reportedly gave Mr. Costner, whom she married in 2004, an ultimatum to quit the neo-western show Yellowstone, because he would spend months filming in Montana and away from their family in Los Angeles.

“It really left a hole in their family life,” says a friend of hers told Radar. “She wants a firm commitment that this is his last season – otherwise he might have to hit the dusty track!” Mr. Costner, however, continued to lead a busy life.

Hope Flynn, founder of FeedMeFemale, said, “If someone is a workaholic, it can feel like they are choosing to go to work instead of being with their partner.

Dating a workaholic can make people feel disconnected from their partners, which can make that person feel less desirable and less attractive because they’re not a priority.

And this can be frustrating for the person in the “off-work” relationship. If work and the demands of the job cause them to be constantly stressed, it affects the person’s well-being and in turn can affect their partner and their family.

“Also being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t know how to leave work at the door can be difficult because it’s like they’re not emotionally present with you and their mind is still on the work.

However, relationship coach Kate Mansfield added, “We have to be aware of who someone is when we meet them. Getting involved with a famous actor or celebrity always involves sacrificing time together. It’s just the reality of their job.

“Celebrities have always had this problem. It’s an unfortunate part of being extremely successful and I think as a partner you have to accept it or find a partner with a less time-consuming career.”

Discussing how best to solve the problem, relationship expert and founder of Wingman, Tina Wilsonsaid, “I would suggest that a couple going through this situation talk openly about what they are ready for and what future lifestyle they envision.

It could be that they love each other, but if their lives are no longer compatible, they will eventually drift apart and one will resent the other.

“Perhaps someone feels there are unfinished business in their professional life and is not ready for a ‘quiet life’ or there are unresolved issues in the relationship that need attention, and the other party is using being busy as a resource to avoid a problem.

If one party, like Tom Brady and Kevin Costner, consciously put their careers first, it may indicate that they are not prioritizing their relationship and it is a recipe for relationship disaster if both parties fail to compromise because a relationship is about care. and take.’

Hope echoed this, adding, “Communication is key to a healthy relationship and when an issue like work gets in the way, a healthy line of communication needs to be opened.

“Couples should be able to get through this if they consider these factors: emotional well-being, trust, respect and friendship.

“If couples still care about true love, it’s not over yet. Both partners need to be proactive about a lifestyle change and figure out how to manage a healthy work-life balance that works for both of them.

“Boundaries need to be created and that can be done in small ways like not bringing laptops or work-related things into the bedroom, planning time together like a date night at least once a week, and taking a certain amount of time to talk to your partner about their work because it’s something that’s important to them, but keep it within a time frame.”

But Mr. Costner isn’t the only celebrity whose hectic schedule or work ethic has affected their relationship — with Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn’s romance grappling over their career differences.

The Anti-Hero hitmaker, 33, and the British actor, 32, shocked fans with the revelation that they had gone their separate ways last month after six years – with a source close to the star saying Joe had struggled to get his career off the ground in , driving a wedge between the pair, especially once Taylor went on tour again.

The source told DailyMail.com: “The most important thing about the problems in their relationship was that Taylor’s career took precedence over Joe’s – which can be tricky for a couple if it’s not balanced.

This drove them apart and eventually they both realized they weren’t on the same page anymore. It’s been hard for Joe to make it in Hollywood and not actually become leading material while dating one of the most famous women in the world for the past six years.

“It was easier during the pandemic when it was just the two of them, but when things got back to normal, Taylor Swift emerged the superstar and their differences became even more apparent.

“They really tried and tried everything they could, but in the end they couldn’t save the relationship.

Taylor has been throwing herself back into her career lately, releasing the critically acclaimed new album Midnights and hitting the road again for The Eras Tour.

Elsewhere, Reese Witherspoon and husband Jim Toth reportedly lived separate lives for months before divorcing, which was reportedly fueled by the actress’ busy schedule, earning her a reputation as one of the most in-demand women in Hollywood.

The star announced her divorce in March, just two days before her 12-year wedding anniversary, but she and Mr. Toth hadn’t been seen together in public in months.

Insiders revealed Radar Online that the couple would go “days without interaction” leading up to their split, which some attribute to the actress’ hectic lifestyle.

The duo, who share 10-year-old son Tennessee, reportedly only talk to discuss their family, while Mr. Toth would consistently miss important events in her life. Friends of the actress revealed that his behavior had “raised eyebrows” long before they broke up.

“Jim is hardly ever with her,” a source told the outlet. ‘It’s always like that’.

Despite saying they enjoyed “many wonderful years together” when announcing their split, insiders also claimed the marriage had steadily gone platonic.

“There’s no major scandal or drama, just two people who have basically become co-parents and no longer have romantic feelings for each other,” a source told me. Page Six.

Meanwhile, in one of the most shocking celebrity splits of 2022, supermodel Gisele Bundchen, 42, and NFL legend Tom Brady, 45, went their separate ways after 13 years of marriage and two kids.

The NFL superstar and Brazilian supermodel confirmed their split on Oct. 28 after weeks of speculation.

Gisele filed for divorce because she felt her partner “wasn’t as considerate as he should have been” — after he left the NFL, before announcing his return to the sport a month later.

‘That is what [Gisele] wanted: to be heard. And he didn’t hear her,” an insider remarked to PEOPLE.

While Bundchen, a native of Brazil, was raising their two children — Benjamin, twelve, and Vivian, nine — the athlete was “busy following his passion.”

Brady also shares 15-year-old son Jack with ex Bridget Moynahan.

Someone familiar with the quarterback said, “When he’s in the middle of a season, [Brady] does what most NFL players do: live, breathe, eat, and sleep football,” adding, “Tom is more like that than anyone else.”

Another source countered, “He was always there for her and the kids. Even during football. He’s an anomaly because he’s been playing for so long. Yes, he worked like any parent, but he always spends a lot of time with his family.’