As Kanye West rejects concerns over Bianca Censori’s controversial wardrobe, DR MAX PEMBERTON reveals the signs you might be in a controlling relationship

The family and friends of Australian-born Bianca Censori, wife of Kanye West, are said to be concerned about her well-being. Based on the pictures and stories I’ve seen online, I can’t say I blame them.

Censori, 29, an architect with a master’s degree from the University of Melbourne, and West, 46, the rapper-ex-husband of reality star Kim Kardashian, secretly married in December 2022 and have been causing controversy ever since.

Censori has been seen in increasingly risky and compromising situations, from appearing to perform a sex act with her husband in Venice to wearing increasingly revealing clothing.

Additionally, West has posted disturbing images of her on his Instagram page for his 20 million followers to view. These include shots of his wife in fetish gear, performing household chores, all uploaded to a chorus of criticism.

Censori herself has no social media accounts – apparently banned by her husband, who says it is for her own protection.

There are other reports that West dictates what his wife wears, what she can eat and when she can speak.

Of course, what we see is just a snapshot of a marriage, and for his part, West has said he just wants to show off his beautiful wife.

Yet former girlfriend Julia Fox, 34, who dated West for a month in 2022, made some serious allegations about someone she refers to only as “the artist” in her memoir, Down The Drain.

She revealed that ‘the artist’ tried to control what she wore by sending her a wardrobe of clothes he had pre-approved. He also tried to persuade her to get breast implants.

When it comes to Censori, photos of her before she met West show a happy, smiling young woman partying with her friends in Melbourne, wearing cocktail dresses, shorts and T-shirts.

In contrast, photos of her taken last month at Paris Fashion Week, wearing a fur stole and sheer tights, with what appears to be no underwear underneath (a choice that could get her sued for indecent exposure), seem alarming.

Although Censori insists she is comfortable in her own body, it is clear to her family and friends that something has changed.

Over the years I have had a number of patients who were in coercive and controlling relationships – a form of psychological abuse in which the abuser exhibits a pattern of manipulative behavior within a relationship.

What is shocking to those on the outside is that the victim is often unaware that it is even happening.

I’ve sat in front of people (usually women, but men can be victims of coercive control too) and told them I’m afraid they’re being controlled, and they’ve shaken their heads in utter denial.

One woman was not allowed to see her family, had her own bank account and had to keep a tracker on her phone so that her husband always knew where she was. She didn’t think this was shameful, horrifying behavior.

He had convinced her that it was because he cared about her so much and wanted to know that she was always safe.

The manipulator is often very clever at gaining control; it happens gently at first and in small, subtle ways. They might suggest that a partner isn’t very good with their finances, or is being scammed in some way, and that it would be better if they took full control of the money.

Perhaps after a fight with their family, the controller will encourage someone to cut off contact, saying their family doesn’t deserve them.

It is usually expressed in terms of wanting to help the other person be happier. Little by little, the victim’s sense of self is destroyed and his self-confidence is eroded.

Sometimes it can happen so gradually that the person doesn’t realize it – until one day they wake up and realize they barely know themselves anymore.

Because they often deliberately distance themselves from friends and loved ones, it is all the more challenging to open their eyes to what is really happening.

But people can and do escape these types of toxic relationships, and the first step is always recognizing the signs that they may be being manipulated. Women’s Aid highlights ten key red flags to look out for:

• Isolating yourself from friends and family;

• Depriving you of basic needs, such as food;

• Taking control over aspects of your daily life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep;

• Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware;

• Deny you access to support services, such as medical services;

• Repeatedly putting you down and telling you you’re worthless;

• Demean, humiliate or dehumanize you;

• Control over your finances;

• Making threats or intimidating you.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. But if any of these ring a bell in the relationship you’re in, it could indicate coercive control, a recognized form of domestic violence. It’s a crime and the law is on your side.

For more information visit womensaid.org.uk or call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.

Lawyer Paul Alexander, who died last week, spent more than 70 years on an iron lung after contracting polio as a boy. His remarkable story embarrasses most of us with our daily complaints.

Meghan’s vengeful timing Maybe it was just a coincidence that the Duchess of Sussex launched her new lifestyle brand just 45 minutes before Prince William gave an emotional speech at the 25th Diana Legacy Awards?

Perhaps it was yet another coincidence when Meghan and Harry announced the winner of Archewell’s $100,000 civil rights prize a few hours later. But I suspect they don’t do much by accident.

In that case, it seems cruel to steal Prince William’s attention in this way, especially if it was a celebration of his mother’s legacy.

It comes across as petty and bitter. I had hoped that the brothers would find a way to reconcile. But there can be no hope of healing as long as one party behaves this way.

For all the Sussexes’ talk about how ’empathy and compassion are the building blocks of a better world’, it’s just hot air. It is not compassionate to try to mislead a family member, especially at a sensitive time. It’s mean and vindictive.

Lily Allen said last week that having children “totally ruined” her career as she chose to prioritize it over singing and acting projects. She insisted that you can’t have everything. I think she’s right.

But why should women feel torn between a career and a family, while men usually aren’t? For me, this is where the real sexism lies. If having children means you can’t have everything, that should apply to fathers as much as it does to mothers.

Dr. Max prescribes… an ice bath A study from the University of Warwick found that a dip in a cold bath can reduce inflammation in the body and promote good health.

Reducing inflammation is important because it can be linked to cardiovascular disease, diabetes and cancer, as well as depression and anxiety. Granted, not as appealing as the idea of ​​a warm bath, but maybe it’s worth a try?