Thierry Henry has admitted he struggled with depression during his playing career but felt ill-equipped to confront his mental demons.
The France and Arsenal legend told Steven Bartlett in a powerful interview that he spent his Covid-19 isolation in Montreal “crying every day” and traced his problems back to a traumatic childhood.
Henry, 46, who currently coaches the France under-21 team, says that as a child his father Antoine constantly criticized his performances on the football field.
Despite winning the World Cup with France in 1998 and becoming Arsenal's all-time top scorer, Henry admits he struggled to find happiness and satisfaction in his achievements.
“Throughout my career I must have been in a depression,” he told Bartlett's The diary of a CEO show.
Arsenal and France legend Thierry Henry has revealed on Steven Bartlett's Diary Of A CEO show how he battled depression during his playing career after a traumatic childhood
Henry admitted that he couldn't confront his mental demons until he was done playing
The 46-year-old spoke out in a powerful interview with Bartlett on his Diary Of A CEO show
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'Did I know? No. Did I do something about it? Clearly no. But I had adapted in a way.
“I lied for a long time because society wasn't ready to listen to what I had to say.”
Henry says he spent his childhood trying to please his father and then spent his entire playing career trying to please others, likening it to wearing a “cape.”
It wasn't until football came to a standstill during the 2020 lockdown and he was stranded thousands of kilometers from his family in Montreal that Henry acknowledged his mental health demons.
“Everything came at once, especially during Covid times,” he said.
'I knew it before, but I lied to myself. I wanted to make sure those feelings didn't go too far, so I put on the 'cape'. But when you're no longer a player, you can't put on that 'cape' anymore.
'We tend to run away instead of facing our problems, that's what we do all the time. We try to stay busy, we try to avoid the problem or not think about it.
'Covid happened and I asked, 'Why are you running, what are you doing?' I was isolated and not being able to see my children for a year was tough. I don't even have to explain that one.
Henry enjoyed a hugely successful career, including World Cup victory with France in 1998
'Something like that had to happen to me to understand vulnerability, empathy, crying. Understand that emotions are emotions. Anger is normal, but don't get angry. Jealousy is normal, but don't get jealous.
'I cried almost every day for no reason, the tears came. I don't know why, but maybe they waited a long time.
'I don't know if that had to come out. It was weird, but in a good way. There were things I had no control over and I didn't try.
He was part of Arsenal's Invincibles from 2003–04 and became their all-time top scorer
'You're told from a young age, both at home and at work, 'don't be that guy, don't show vulnerability. If you cry, what will they think?'
'I cried, but technically it was young Thierry who cried. He cried for everything he didn't get.'
Henry recalled a story from his teenage years when he scored six goals in a 6-0 win for his junior team and yet his father was still not satisfied.
'I was 15 and you can already tell whether someone is good or bad. We won 6-0 and I scored six goals,” he said.
'I knew my father's appearance, I could see whether the man was happy or not.
“I turned around, I can tell you from any position whether he was happy or not. We arrived in the car, there is silence. I think: should I talk or not talk? That's how we were.
'He said, 'Are you happy?' Should I answer? “Yes”. “Yes, but it shouldn't be that way because you missed that goal, you missed that cross, whatever.”
'We got to my mom's house, I'm walking like this (head down) and she said, 'Did you lose?' That was often the case.”
Henry said he had an epiphany when the time came to return to Montreal after spending time with his children after lockdown restrictions were eased.
It led to him giving up the role of head coach at MLS club CF Montreal ahead of the 2021 season.
Henry traced his mental health problems to his childhood, where his father constantly criticized his performance on the football field, even when he was playing brilliantly.
'I was about to leave again, I said goodbye to my children. Before you know it, I put my bags down and everyone starts crying,” he recalls.
'From the babysitter to my girlfriend to the children. For the first time, because at that moment it was little me who felt it, I'm like “oh, they see me.” Not the footballer, not the accolades, I felt human.
'They cried for me. I felt it then for the first time and little me was nourished with love for the first time. I put down my bags, I stayed and stopped coaching in Montreal. “What am I doing?”
'They love Thierry, not Thierry Henry. For the first time I felt human. They saw me as a person and that felt nice.'