AMANDA PLATELL: Why I wish King Charles was not making Camilla his Queen today 

This morning my friends and I will be excitedly gathered around my wide screen high definition TV to capture every detail of the coronation in all its splendour.

Union Jacks will be flying at my windows, Dubonnet and gins will be waiting, quiches in the oven, a table laden with cocktail sausages, pork pies and, yes, even cucumber sandwiches.

It’s not every day you get to celebrate the coronation of your King, especially one who has served our late Queen so dutifully all his life and now, at the age of 74, takes up the mantle of Sovereign.

Still, I have a concern in the back of my mind – and it’s a substantial one. I’m afraid Camilla will be crowned queen alongside him.

After all, the Queen never made her beloved husband Prince Philip our king. And while it’s true that she was clear that Camilla should formally become queen consort — a generous gesture considering Her Majesty once referred to her as “that wicked woman” — Charles has gone a step further and declared her queen.

To be fair, Camilla never asked for this honor. But more importantly, neither does the British public.

Like millions of loyal monarchists, I wish King Charles and Queen Camilla well. But why did he have to go too far with Camilla when so many of us still have doubts about her? A poll in the Mail this week echoed my own concerns – naming our late Queen our most popular royal Prince William second, followed by his mother Princess Diana, who died nearly three decades ago.

Most tellingly, Queen Camilla was near the bottom, along with Meghan, Harry, and Andrew.

As much as Charles loves Camilla, his subjects do not share his adoration. And I’m afraid to say that a lot of this has to do with Diana, even in death, casting a shadow over the course of events today. It is made even more poignant by the fact that she feared that the woman who had begotten her husband would end up wearing the crown. That comes out today.

Women of my generation have lived through Charles’s betrayal, and we can’t shake the memories of Camilla’s part in that desperately sad saga.

That’s why, as I watch today, I’ll be uncomfortable with Camilla becoming queen – and I hope it won’t turn out to be a terrible mistake.

Singer Taylor Swift is madly in love with little-known British rocker and ex-heroin addict Matt Healy who smokes joints in interviews. This mirrors supermodel Kate Moss’ disastrous relationship with ex-addict rocker Pete Doherty.

So a friendly reminder to multimillionaire Taylor, opposites can attract, but they can also often end in tears.

Pure cheek, Kendall!

The accepted wisdom among fashionistas at the New York Met Gala after-party is that less is more, if you want to capture the attention of so many beautiful women. Kendall Jenner proved the point with her sassy sense of humor. Was she channeling her inner Borat in that dazzling thong over sheer shorts?

Kendall Jenner is seen heading to a Met Gala after party on May 1, 2023 in New York City

Kendall Jenner proved the point with her sassy sense of humor. Was she channeling her inner Borat in that dazzling thong over sheer shorts?

Kate and William serve Harry a pint

As Harry prepared to fly to London for his one-day coronation tour, William and Kate had pints at Soho pub The Dog And Duck and brought the Tube home. Let’s hope the Spare spared a thought for his reputation as an eco-warrior as he traveled the air miles for a few hours reluctantly with Dad.

How touching that William pays a touching tribute to both his father and stepmother after tomorrow’s concert. And it’s one in the eyes of Harry, whose venom towards Camilla was exposed in his book and who will be safe back in California trying not to choke on his kale smoothie as he sees how popular his estranged brother is.

What a awake ninny our Archbishop of Canterbury is, inviting us all to swear allegiance to the King – at home in front of the television! That’s unlikely, because after a few drinks after watching the coronation from 10am, some of us will even struggle to stand.

The Old Vic theater warns that his play Pygmalion contains scenes of “coercive control” as Eliza Doolittle, with her terrible accent, becomes sophisticated. Blimey, I wish someone had exercised coercive control over me. Maybe I had lost my own horrible accent.

Westminster wars

Now we learn that “immaculately impartial” civil servant Sue Gray had “multiple discussions” over at least four months with Keir Starmer to become his chief of staff, while she was investigating Boris Johnson over Partygate. The result of the Privileges Committee’s inquiry into Partygate, which could prove decisive for Boris’ future, is expected in May. It should be canceled immediately because this Labor bondage stinks. The only investigation we need now is into Gray’s links to Labour.

Labor should curb their jubilation over local election victories. William Hague won a large number of seats in the locals before the 2001 general election – when the Tories were defeated by a second Blair landslide.

No wonder Generation Z refuses to understand the expressions of older people. “Beating a dead horse” is animal abuse. ‘Back to the salt mines’ exudes slavery. ‘Burn the midnight oil’ means working more than four hours a day. ‘Bite the bullet’ is certainly bellicose. And how offensive is “What’s the beef?” – for vegans, not to mention fruitarians?

As Harry prepared to fly to London for his one-day coronation tour, William and Kate had pints at Soho pub the Dog And Duck and brought home the Tube

Heard done by

After her very public divorce from Johnny Depp, Amber Heard has quietly moved to Madrid. Meanwhile, Depp makes his movie comeback in Jeanne du Barry, which will premiere at the Cannes Film Festival.

Both came across as thoroughly horrible people during their court proceedings, but how come bad publicity revitalizes Johnny’s career – while Amber remains unemployed and unheard of?

When announcing the opening of a new chain of restaurants, Jamie Oliver reveals he was so stubborn as a child – he worked in his father’s pub from the age of 11 – that he used to be locked in the freezer to cool off. Today that would be called child abuse, but he is now one of our most successful and beloved chefs.

A message to snowflakes that it’s hard work, determination and not whining about ‘problems’ that will get you to the top table.

Jodie screens her private life

Jodie Comer is up for a Tony Award for her one-woman play Prima Facie.

She is very privately dating American lacrosse player James Burke and has been living with her parents in Liverpool since last year. No social media to watch out for, no selfies from the Killing Eve star.

Just proves to all those celebs screaming about invasion of privacy, if you want a private life, you can have it.

Despite sewage being discharged into our rivers and seas, water companies were fined just £10.5 million, while bosses were rewarded with bonuses totaling £30 million. When will the government realize that we cherish our waterways and wish we could swim in them without the filth and stench of greed?