AMANDA PLATELL: She’s a trouper – but we must not expect too much of Kate on her return

For millions of us hoping to see the Princess of Wales return to public life after her cancer treatment, it was a huge blow to hear that she will not be attending this month’s rehearsal for Trooping The Colour.

How wonderful it would have been to see her take the salute as the new Commander-in-Chief of the Irish Guards, as planned.

And we still don’t know if she’ll join the royal family for King Charles’ official birthday celebration on June 15, with the traditional Buckingham Palace balcony appearance. If it were possible, the king would really like to have his ‘beloved daughter-in-law’ there.

Kate has been out of the spotlight for five months. We miss her. But who could blame her if, during the precious time she spent with her family, she had reconsidered her role as the shining jewel at the heart of the monarchy?

Wouldn’t she have thought about the relentless pressure of being the most photographed and perhaps most famous woman in the world and decided to take a step back and become more of the hands-on mother she always wanted to be? Last year, Kate made 132 official public appearances.

Perhaps in the terrible circumstances of her cancer she has discovered that she loves just being at home as a normal mother in skinny jeans and rubber boots. In any case, I would applaud her.

She could do the work she cares about, such as her charities and early learning interests, from home. It’s the modern way.

Of course we would like to see her again. But we all need to think about the toll our demands may have taken on her – and adjust our expectations. If she is healthy enough to return to public life, she should do so on her terms.

And however and whenever she does it, a nation will rejoice.

Gary Lineker says he doesn’t tweet about politics to advocate for change, but only when injustice upsets him. ‘I don’t do it to try to influence. I do it so I can look at myself in the mirror at night,” says the man with 8.9 million X followers.

Crikey, must be a big mirror to fit all his gigantic ego.

Hannah on a high

Emmy-winning actress Hannah Waddingham, 49, is finding success later in life and will star opposite Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 8.

And the 6ft tall Ted Lasso star warns she mustn’t forget the Hollywood bosses who rejected her early in her career but are now desperate to work with her.

She tells them, “Please look elsewhere. I am a human. I remember. Get out.’

In other words, the executives who snubbed her now face an impossible mission to get her back.

Fans of the original Gladiator film may be dismayed to see photos of a skinny Paul Mescal.

He has just finished filming Gladiator II and replaces the once magnificently muscled Russell Crowe as the hero of the story.

Burly Oliver Reed, who played Proximo in the first film and died halfway through filming, must be turning in his grave.

Westminster Wars

• As Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer tried to convince voters, the Prime Minister wore a £750 Tumi backpack and Starmer wore a £499 hoodie from French boutique label Sandro. Many workers they encountered would be happy to take home that much in a week.
• Having worked with Diane Abbott and knowing her to be a courageous MP, I am appalled by her treatment by Keir Starmer. A letter to The Guardian said he showed ‘an appalling lack of humanity and compassion, and a vengeful, hard-to-understand misery’. First time I’ve agreed with a Guardian reader!
• Ed Davey shoots down a water slide in an inflatable boat to promote children’s mental health, Starmer serves ice creams to punters and Rishi drinks a pint of lemonade in a pub. These crazy stunts do not convince voters; they irritate them.

Jennifer Lopez is launching a ready-to-drink Light Margarita – after criticism for promoting an alcoholic brand when she was known to be a teetotaler. She emphasizes: ‘That was the case for a long time, but for the past fifteen years I have enjoyed a cocktail every now and then and I love it!’

She says her Margarita has fewer calories, is made with real fruit juice and is gluten-free. Just like J-Lo’s fantastic body at 54 after having twins – all natural!

England’s WAGs lost luggage en route to the World Cup in Qatar and have hired a private courier to take their luggage to Euro 2024 in Germany, each with a 200kg allowance – ten times the limit on most commercial airlines. They also want the option of private jets to fly them in if England reach the later rounds. Don’t hold your breath ladies!

The truth for Ruth

Sources close to Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford claim he was ‘devastated’ by the news they were divorcing after 14 years of marriage, while he was battling serious health problems.

Ruth’s friends, meanwhile, tell her to ‘get out there and have fun’ and this week she was back at work, smiling and promoting her QVC shopping channel, from which she makes a fortune selling size 18 trousers to women in their sixties.

I wonder how many of her fans, many happily married, will continue to support her now that she has dumped her husband when he seems to need her most.

The owner who dumped his ten dead giant tortoises in the forest has escaped from prison. Gary Priddle, 56, left them for a Christmas holiday but failed to control the heating lamp to keep them alive. And Priddle is an electrician! A £199 fine for allowing the death of these creatures, which can live up to 120 years? Doesn’t he know that exotic pets, like cats and dogs, are for life?

My moaning about Bridget Jones

The new Bridget Jones film is filming near where I live in North London.

It means trucks full of stuff blocking the roads and causing noisy traffic jams, entire streets closed to cars, lazy pedestrians making noise from 7am to 8pm for days on end, and crews of workers trying to stop us as we take our usual walks in nearby Hampstead Heath.

I already hate the movie.

In her Channel 5 documentary ‘Stormy’, porn star Stormy Daniels says she was emotionally devastated by her one-night stand with Donald Trump – but admits she didn’t say ‘no’ to sex with him.

Not so destroyed, Stormy, that you couldn’t testify against him in court, where he was found guilty of 34 charges.

The only person who has remained gracefully silent about this sordid affair, which took place after Trump married Melania, is the former First Lady herself. Although I don’t understand why she stays with him.

Viewers give Beeb the bird

Springwatch reminded viewers this week how a nightjar attacked and then swallowed one of its newly hatched chicks.

Fans of the BBC show said they were ‘having vomits and nightmares’. Frankly, we think we’ll be greeted by the joys of spring, not bird cannibalism.

Horrible creatures that devour their own creatures, just like EastEnders.