AMANDA PLATELL: How CAN Meghan give lectures on friendship?

Just when we thought it had all gone quiet on the Montecito front, Meghan shows up with her exciting new venture.

It’s a Netflix series that celebrates “the joys of cooking and gardening, entertainment and…” – wait for it – “friendship.”

This from a woman who dumped most of her pre-Harry friends, as well as her entire family (except mother Doria), while also luring Harry away from his old friends.

A woman with such a reputation for unfriending people, there’s a verb for it in the Urban Dictionary: ‘Markled’.

What hypocrisy for someone who dumps her best friends faster than she entices the royal family to lecture us about friendship.

A quick look through the Duchess of Sussex’s friendship history reveals that she started ‘Markling’ – definition: throwing people away when you can’t use them anymore – when she fell out with some of her Suits co-stars after she saw them had described as ‘family’.

And when she started dating Harry in 2016, she counted stylist Jessica Mulroney among her best friends. They were close for decades and Jessica attended Meghan’s £200,000 baby shower in New York in 2019. Today, she is nowhere to be seen after becoming embroiled in a debate about white privilege that may have tarnished Meghan’s multiracial brand.

She befriended Violet von Westenholz, a friend of Harry’s in her early days with the prince, before that friendship also cooled.

Same story with Made In Chelsea’s Millie Mackintosh, who was even said to have helped organize the royal wedding – but ultimately wasn’t invited.

And don’t even get me started on the way she “branded” the royal family. Oh, and it’s unforgivable that she declined the hand of friendship Kate offered when Meghan first joined the Firm.

Isn’t it also striking that this new series, for all its supposed groundbreaking feminism, makes her sound like a housewife who’s run out of marigolds?

But it’s her claim that she knows friendship that really gets to her.

Meghan wouldn’t know how to keep a boyfriend to save her life.

Well done Keir Starmer for revealing the Mail Labour’s ‘unwavering’ commitment to the Trident and nuclear submarines, sinking any memory of peace campaigner Jeremy Corbyn’s policies. Now can he please torpedo his views on women with penises?

Caroline needs to RIP

I understand the despair of Caroline Flack’s mother Christine at losing her daughter to suicide – but is it really right to try to reopen a police investigation into the way they handled her daughter’s arrest after she attacked her boyfriend and then committed suicide?

Caroline had a history of suicide attempts and alleged drug abuse.

She was an amazing but troubled woman who tragically chose to end her own life.

Can we really blame the police for that?

Hanks wins film race

He’s traveled all over Africa and now there’s talk of eccentric ‘Hardest Geezer’ Russ Cook’s epic journey being turned into a movie.

Sorry to break it to you, Russ, but Tom Hanks beat you to it in 1994’s Forrest Gump, which grossed almost $700 million worldwide.

Cat won’t let ITV down

ITV’s This Morning is proving to be another hit with the arrival of Cat Deeley and Ben Shephard who have replaced Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. Viewing figures have increased by five percent compared to last year.

Good news, but I’m especially happy about the team behind the scenes, which I know from experience are among the best in the industry. They kept that sinking ship afloat after Schofield’s embarrassing departure and Holly’s opportunistic exit, just when they needed her most.

The father of one-month-old Ollie Davis has been sentenced to life in prison for assaulting and killing the boy, who was so badly injured he died in pain with a broken neck.

Yet Ollie’s mother Kayleigh Driver only gets seven years in prison for ‘allowing the death of a child and serious bodily harm’.

In my opinion, she is just as guilty as her husband Michael Davis. Any mother who ‘allows’ her baby to be murdered in front of her eyes should also serve life in prison.

EX Post Office managing director David Smith has apologized for saying in 2010 it was ‘brilliant news’. Postmistress Seema Misra was sentenced to 15 months in prison.

“If you look at it through their eyes and not mine, you can see that it may have caused significant distress and for that I sincerely apologize,” he said.

This pregnant mother of one, imprisoned in her community and shamed for a crime she never committed, was perhaps upset by his disgusting cheerfulness? And what a lame way to say sorry, no doubt drafted by a highly paid lawyer with future prosecutions in mind. I hope we see a lot of it – for former Post Office bosses.

Loyalty in Isla’s life

Following her split from husband of 13 years Sacha Baron Cohen, Isla Fisher cut a lonely figure while walking her dog Maisie this week. I know Maisie from my local park: she is loving and playful, although sometimes a little mischievous and threatens to run away from her mistress. I am always happy to return her safely to Isla knowing she has one dog in her life who is happy at home.

Leo Woodall, the heartthrob from the popular TV series One Day, is ready for the next Bridget Jones film. Very good, but there are only two roles that Leo, 27, could play: the son of 54-year-old Renee Zellweger, or her toyboy. A middle-aged Bridget rolling around in her famous fat pants with handsome Leo?

Please let it be the son! Or it will be a diary entry of alcohol units 35, cigarettes 22, only for the moviegoers.

I endorse this Aintree favourite

Oh how I love Aintree’s Ladies Day, when women dress up in the most fabulous outfits they’ve been planning for weeks, even months.

The £5,000 prize for Best Dressed goes to this girl, resplendent in royal blue. Her shoes were blue and even her toenails were painted a matching color.

Give that lady the blue ribbon!

After Suki Waterhouse posted a photo of herself postpartum looking pretty good, other new moms said it doesn’t capture the true brutality of what having a baby does to your body. I’m just relieved that these attention grabbing celebrities who are invading their own privacy haven’t started posting photos of the actual birth yet.

Westminster Wars

• Liz Truss says the late Queen’s advice when she became Prime Minister was to ‘pace herself’. Since Liz’s reign was always doomed to be short-lived, perhaps the politically savvy queen said, “brace yourselves.”

• Rishi Sunak’s favorite Adidas Samba sneakers are selling because people associate them with him. I get it. When Cherie Blair in No 10 started wearing the then trendy designer label Ronit Zilkha, the charity shop was the first stop for my collection of RZ dresses.

Sheridan Smith’s West End comeback was a gamble after her struggles with drink, as she played an alcoholic. There’s no shame in Sheridan closing early on Opening Night. Her performance was called brilliant. The incontinent plot put an end to it.