Allison Holker, widow of Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss, breaks down in tears as she tells of his suicide

Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’s widow, Allison Hollker, has opened up about the “shock” she felt over her late husband’s suicide in an emotional new interview, revealing how she and the couple’s three children are dealing with the loss of their ‘Superman’, five months after he committed suicide.

Sitting down with the Today show’s Hoda Kotb for her first TV interview since the Ellen Show star’s death, Allison, 35, shared insights into her husband’s mental health struggles, and broke down as she remembered how tWitch had always been “being the strong savage for everyone” and how that made him “a little scared” to ask for help.

“He wanted to be the strong one for everyone and I think it was a little scary for him to think that maybe he should ask for help,” she shared.

Allison, who married tWitch in 2013, admitted it “breaks her heart” that she “didn’t see it coming,” adding that she “feels sad” that her late husband was “so present” for her and their children — Weslie, 14, Maddox, six, and Zaia, three – as he secretly battles his demons.

“I still feel like I’m like the rest of the world, where I’m still shocked,” she said.

Sitting on Today for her first TV interview since the Ellen Show star’s death, Allison, 41, burst into tears as she shared insights into her husband’s mental health struggles

The So You Think You Can Dance and Ellen Show alum died by suicide in December at the age of 40, and his loved ones have mourned privately ever since. He and Allison are seen in 2022

“No one is ready for that moment and no one saw this coming. No one. And that breaks my heart too. But I’m so sad that he was there like this and we didn’t know it.

“He was so loving and light. He really wanted to be everyone’s Superman, he often said that.

“He could have so much for people and I think it was hard for him to process that in the end.”

The So You Think You Can Dance alum and Ellen DeGeneres co-host died in December at age 40 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, and his loved ones have been grieving privately ever since.

Allison confessed that she initially wondered if she had missed any warning signs about her husband’s struggles, saying, “I did it a lot at first. In the end I had to tell myself that I can’t change what happened.’

When asked by Hoda how she’s stayed so “strong,” the dancer admitted she has no other choice — especially when she’s around the couple’s three kids.

“It’s all for them, I really have no choice but to be strong,” she said, before admitting, “They still see me having my highs and lows because there’s a lot of it.”

While Allison is still grieving the loss of her husband, whom she described as a “magical” person, she said she tries to focus on the incredible memories they made together during their 13-year relationship, explaining that she knows the pain. she feels now is a sign of how much ‘love’ they shared.

Allison admitted that it “breaks her heart” that she “didn’t see it coming,” adding that she “feels sad” that her husband “was so there” for her and their children as he secretly battled his demons.

While Allison is still grieving the loss of her husband, whom she described as a “magical” person, she said she tries to focus on the incredible memories they made together.

“Our love was magical and it was so real and I think that’s the hardest part of all of this,” she explained.

“The way we loved was so great and I got to spend 13 years with one of the most magical people. I learned so much about love and gratitude.

TWtich, who was a longtime executive producer of the Ellen DeGeneres show, died Dec. 13 in a hotel room at the Oak Tree Inn in Encino, California, after checking in at 10:30 a.m. that day.

His body was discovered the next day after he failed to leave his room.

It was reported by TMZ that he left a suicide note in the hotel room referencing the challenges he faced in the past and put his phone on airplane mode before shooting himself.

TWtich’s wife, who has been married for nine years, contacted the Los Angeles Police Department on Tuesday to report him missing.

Allison insisted there had been no argument or dispute that precipitated his departure, just three days after their wedding anniversary, and said his lack of contact was extremely odd.

While chatting to Today, Allison said she still “talks to him every night,” adding that she tells her kids to do the same because “communication is key.”

“I talk to him every night. And it’s different every night, sometimes it’s like, “I took the kids to school.” Sometimes it’s deeper, a little heavy,” she explained.

“If I feel so much pain, it’s because I’ve had so much love. It’s really something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It is very difficult.

“But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that communication is key. For us, Daddy is in the stars, so we can go out and talk to him whenever we want.’

She remembered her young children asking her, “When is Daddy coming back?” and, “Is Daddy coming back when he’s older?”

Allison noted that Ellen DeGeneres has been “a huge support system” to her since her husband’s death

She explained that she and the talk show host “talk about the fond memories we have of him”

But she tries to focus on the positive times they’ve had together, adding, “We can live in those great memories we have.” I feel like he’s with me. We know he accompanies us every day.’

Allison noted that Ellen has been “a huge support system” to her since her husband’s death.

She explained that she and the talk show host “talk about the fond memories we have of him.”

After his passing last year, the TV personality paid tribute to him online, calling him her “family” and a “pure love and light.”

The star said, “I will miss him. Please send your love and support to Allison and his beautiful children – Weslie, Maddox and Zaia.”

Allison added that she hoped by being honest about what he was going through, she “could bring awareness to mental health and open conversations.”

‘[I hope it] helps people feel comfortable asking for that help. I really want to make an impression on behalf of someone I love so much,” she concluded.

Just a month before his passing, the beloved DJ had told the Jennifer Hudson Show that he and Allison were considering expanding their family, saying, “I love the little babies, I love them.” It’s a constant conversation.’

The latest video the dancer posted on social media showed him smiling and laughing with his family.

Jennifer Lopez, Questlove and Michelle Obama were among the other well-known names who honored the DJ after his passing.

Jennifer shared a post on her Instagram page and wrote, “tWtich was such a light and beautiful soul. Shocked and deeply saddened.

My heart breaks for @sir_twitch_alot, his wife and children. I send you love and strength.’

After his death, Allison also issued a statement to People flowing over his legacy.

Stephen lit up every room he entered. He valued family, friends and community above all else and leading with love and light was everything to him,” the widow said.

“To say he left a legacy would be an understatement, and his positive impact will still be felt.”