ALISON BOSHOFF: Is it J-Lo’s obsession with living clean that makes Ben Affleck look EVEN MORE surly?

As she prepared for the Grammys on Sunday, Jennifer Lopez surely hoped that people would find her presence captivating for all the right reasons.

The actress, singer and businesswoman wore a custom navy thigh-slit Gucci gown complete with a cape and cascades of diamonds, plus £1.5m worth of Bulgari diamond necklaces.

Her glam squad—two stylists, a hairstylist, a manicurist, and a makeup artist—were duly thanked on Instagram.

How infuriating, then, that everyone wanted to talk not about the $400 million woman at her most glamorous, but about the scowling husband who followed her, Ben Affleck.

In a highly entertaining piece of pantomime, J-Lo seemed to notice her new husband trending on social media for his facial expressions, which ranged from boredom to disgusted, as he sat through the ceremony.

She pointed out to Affleck, 50, that his behavior was lighting up the internet and, according to one lip reader, suggested, “Stop it. Look friendlier. Look motivated. Affleck, rather defiantly, apparently replied, “I might.”

Yet his doting wife, 53, continued to hold the Oscar-winning actor’s hand and rack up public displays of affection. Despite her display, she later produced an Instagram post that read, “Always the best time with my love, my husband.”

The official line, which is that Affleck is ‘dreamy’ and ‘a sweetheart’, carries through as if his life depended on it, although you’d think his cantankerous demeanor would make him want to kick his ass.

Certainly when it comes to Affleck, a recovering alcoholic, there is a certain responsibility in worship.

Just last week, footage emerged that appeared to show the alcohol-avoiding Lopez checking to make sure she wasn’t drinking after the premiere of her film, Shotgun Wedding. She can be heard saying, ‘I didn’t drink anything, okay?’ as she takes a sip from her glass of wine, presumably to check that she is telling the truth.

A friend of J-Lo’s for more than two decades agrees that all is not sunshine in the world of ‘Bennifer’.

“You can imagine that being married to J-Lo would mean you’re skipping down the street, but that’s not Ben Affleck,” he observes. He is what you call a complicated person. He is always, and I mean always, miserable. And yet she adores him.

Certainly, Affleck has managed to look bored or furious almost every time they’ve stepped foot together in public since their wedding last summer.

The actress, singer and businesswoman wore a custom navy thigh-slit Gucci gown complete with a cape and cascades of diamonds, plus £1.5m worth of Bulgari diamond necklaces.

He glared at photographers who sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to his wife outside his hotel last July and looked killer as he left Craig’s house. [restaurant] in West Hollywood after dinner in August, quite unnerving as it is a place where you can guarantee the attention of the paparazzi.

Even in some of his official wedding photos, while his bride looks delighted, he barely cracks a smile.

Some say he looks so gloomy because his life is governed by ‘Jen’s Commandments’ which form the framework of his healthy but exhausting lifestyle.

It is said that he has to exercise, like her, one hour a day, five days a week. In the early days of their rekindled romance, they were seen going to the gym together every day.

Affleck glared at photographers who sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to his wife outside their hotel last July and looked killer as he left Craig’s house. [restaurant] in west hollywood

A junk food fanatic, who incidentally just closed a seven figure deal to promote Dunkin’ Donuts, Affleck apparently has to eat clean too.

His disciplined wife sticks to protein and leafy greens. According to her former personal trainer, sweet corn and carrots are off-limits for being too “sugary.” ‘Occasionally’, he eats a piece of fried chicken, a single French fry or a cookie.

Affleck, by contrast, was memorably photographed eating a takeout burger out of a brown paper bag while on his way to rehab in 2018.

Some of ‘Jen’s commandments’ have been broken. It is said that he hates smoking, but he has not been able to quit.

Apparently Lopez doesn’t like her tattoos either and wants a giant phoenix lasered out of her back, but this hasn’t happened yet.

There have also been some bigger sacrifices for both of them. They have been involved in a year-long search for a family home and Affleck has put two of his houses on the market, while Lopez has also put his Bel Air house up for sale.

It has to be big to accommodate your blended family. He has three children from his marriage to actress Jennifer Garner: Violet, 17, Seraphina, 14, and Samuel, ten. He has twins Max and Emme, 14, from singer Marc Anthony. As the US website Radar suggested last year: ‘It’s been almost impossible to keep everyone happy. They have returned to the routine of work and parenthood. Reality has set in.

Apparently Lopez doesn’t like Afflek’s tattoos either and wants a giant phoenix lasered off his back, but this hasn’t happened yet.

Another source suggested to the publication: ‘Marital bliss? More like marital chaos. Before the wedding, Jennifer put on an Oscar-worthy performance for Ben, pretending to be the perfect quiet wife that she could be.

The source added: “She has been known to yell at him and point her finger at him.” It makes people wonder if she’s confusing him with the dog!

When Lopez and Affleck wed in Las Vegas in July of last year (followed by a second wedding at his home in Georgia the following month), it put the stamp on one of Hollywood’s most unusual love stories.

Their first love story began after they met on the set of the flop Gigli in early 2002, with Affleck commenting, “She’s the funniest, most elegant, most intoxicating woman I’ve ever met.”

Later that year, Lopez recruited Affleck to star in the video for her hit song Jenny from The Block, in which he kissed her bottom.

Engaged that November, they postponed their September 2003 wedding with just four days to blame for the media attention. A few months later, they broke up.

Affleck said: “For a while, we were flying and everything was beautiful between me and Jen. Then it all fell apart very quickly.

They had trouble deciding where to live and she is said to have been furious after he gambled £450,000 in one night. The last straw seems to have been Affleck and his friend Matt Damon partying in a Berlin nightclub while Damon was filming The Bourne Supremacy.

Those with insight into the couple’s lives say the dynamic is that she’s pouring all her resources into trying to make Affleck happy.

Affleck married Jennifer Garner, and after that ten-year marriage ended, he dated several women, including the children’s nanny. He also went to rehab several times for alcohol addiction.

Meanwhile, Lopez married dancer Chris Judd in 2001, and after that marriage ended, she married singer Marc Anthony in 2004, but they also split in 2011.

She was also engaged to baseball player Alex Rodríguez. After reports that he had been cheating on her in 2021, which she denied, Lopez rekindled her love affair with Affleck.

For her big day in August of last year, her fourth marriage, she wore three couture gowns.

“I feel very lucky, happy and proud to be with him. It’s a beautiful love story that we get a second chance,” she said.

Those who have insight into the couple’s lives say the dynamic is that she’s pouring all her resources into trying to make Affleck happy. It’s not easy, as she struggles to keep her balance.

In an interview, Affleck said: “There’s a lot of alcoholism and mental illness in my family. The legacy of that is pretty powerful and sometimes hard to shake.

Against this backdrop, her attempts to train him through the Grammys seem more supportive than cunning. A long-time friend tells me, ‘Even though she’s powerful in her professional life, she just melts when it comes to matters of the heart.

‘Of course, there will be rumors about marriage after the Grammys, but I don’t think they’re true, honestly.

She dragged him there, he didn’t want to go and he sulked. He could see that she was trying to help him out of it. I think what people don’t appreciate is that it’s not easy to keep a marriage up in the air.

What is becoming clear is that no one is more determined to make it work than J-Lo.