The newly released photo of four royal mothers shows a glamorous, idealized version of motherhood. Dressed all in white with impeccably coiffed hair, the late Queen, Princesses Margaret and Alexandra and the Duchess of Kent cradled their two-month-old babies in a calm, graceful image.
Compare this to the horrific stories that have just emerged from the parliamentary committee report, which shows how difficult the experience of childbirth and new motherhood is for so many women today, and how substandard so many maternity units are.
Forty years ago it was understood that childbirth is a joyful but also often traumatic event that, even if everything goes smoothly, has a huge effect on a woman’s body.
Dressed all in white with impeccably coiffed hair, the late Queen, Princesses Margaret and Alexandra and the Duchess of Kent cradled their two-month-old babies in a calm, graceful image.
Back then, any new mother would have spent a few days in the hospital so they could get used to feeding their baby and their bruised bodies. An excellent system of home care visitors was also available in the first few weeks.
Nowadays it is little recognized how difficult and frightening it can be to adjust to caring for a newborn baby, and many women are thrown out of hospital within 24 hours and left to fend for themselves without having any idea. And that’s not even taking into account the damage to their bodies they may have suffered.
It is extraordinary that sixty years after that royal photo, the treatment of women during labor, delivery and the first days of motherhood is no better, and possibly even worse, than it was then.
I need to work on icebreaker skills…
The art of introduction is a specialist skill: if you do it right, two people can be friends for life. If you do it wrong, they will shuffle in the opposite direction as quickly as possible.
“There’s someone I want you to meet,” can be the seven most unwanted words to hear and often the sight of a host marching in your direction at a party while you’re in the middle of a really nice conversation with someone who you already know is daunting.
One of my worst teenage memories was being dragged through her glamorous room by a celebrated hostess to meet an unbearably handsome and sophisticated young man who she thought was right for me. How could I, a shy 16 year old, ever have anything to say to him? I was terrified and after about a minute I ran away from him and out of the house.
It put me off going to parties for a while, but now I realize that the most memorable gatherings are often the ones where someone new comes into your life. Or at least one where you have an unexpected conversation. The best hosts know this and won’t allow old friends to lurk everywhere.
This was on my mind when we hosted a garden brunch last weekend, where we invited several guests who didn’t know each other, so an introduction was necessary. But what works? I heard myself taking the predictable route, reciting some sort of top resume of each person, watching eagerly to see if that would gain any traction, spending a few minutes hoping to grease the chat and then running off to find another victim or take advantage of my hostess skills – depending on your point of view.
I don’t know what my success rate is, but I’m afraid my introductory skills need more practice.
Why it’s safer to stick to one topic
Of course, talking to strangers has become a more dangerous experience now that so many people feel like they have to be wary of what they say. Thank goodness an employment tribunal ruled last week that it was acceptable for a senior academic to tell a Japanese academic that she liked sushi.
Who doesn’t remember the debacle when Susan Hussey, the late queen’s former lady-in-waiting, was pilloried for asking a woman at a charity event at the palace, “Where are you from?”, a phrase that now has its own T-shirt should have.
And as for the compliments about appearance, which used to be a safe icebreaker: they can also end up in the danger zone.
As a woman, I think it’s still generally okay to tell a man that his jacket looks good on him. But a man who comments on a younger woman’s dress must weigh the risks. To be on the safe side, I suggest he stick to commenting on her shoes.
France is a loser at the Olympics
a curious decision was made to lose the sleeves of the French women’s jackets, leaving them with an oversized boxy vest
While Team GB’s official Olympic kit has taken the casual, athleisure route, the outfits the French will wear for the Paris Games this summer have taken a more formal approach and are more than a little strange.
Luxury conglomerate LVMH sponsored the Games to the tune of $150 million, so the expectation was that one of its clothing brands would get that gig. Dior would have seemed an obvious choice, but the privilege went to Berluti, considered a Savile Row tailoring house. It’s a men’s brand, so perhaps the strange decision was made to drop the sleeves on the women’s jackets, leaving them with an oversized boxy waistcoat.
Add in the maroon and blue satin scarf-style lapels for both genders and you have a look that makes BA’s flight crew uniforms look chic.
How refreshing, art without a wake-up call
Tate Britain has just opened Now You See Us, an exhibition of female artists. The title refers to how difficult it was for women to gain recognition in that arena between 1520 and 1920. The show showcases the many wonderful examples of women who delivered art that was every bit as good as that of their more celebrated male counterparts.
Recent Tate shows have been criticized for their captions, with too many works presented through the filter of cultural correctness. So how great it was to find unbiased information here.
Visitors are allowed to decide for themselves whether the commission was for a beneficiary of colonialism, while also being nudged to understand what the artist may have been trying to convey.