I still remember the phone call that pierced my heart. It came from the mother of one of my three-year-old daughter’s friends, and she ominously told me that I needed to hear something.
Apparently my daughter announced while playing, “Mummies die, but nannies don’t.”
With such terrible childish frankness she had revealed an inner pain for which I felt crushingly responsible.
A few weeks earlier I had undergone major abdominal surgery, after which one of the hospital doctors had called to tell me that I had a form of ovarian cancer.
I was 28 and a mother of one. But I suspect my first, panicked thought after that shocking news was not much different from that of the Princess of Wales: How am I supposed to break the news to a child?
Moira Petty found out she had cancer at the age of 28. Pictured with her daughter
The Princess of Wales revealed on Friday how she had to reassure her young children after being diagnosed with cancer
Pictured: Princess Catherine with her children George, Charlotte and Louis in a photo released for Mother’s Day this month
We all know instinctively that protecting our children from a world of hurt is every mother’s natural response.
In her video message, Kate stressed that she had taken the time to explain everything to her children ‘in an appropriate way’, ‘to reassure them that I am doing well’.
Naively, I thought I had done the same, assuming that my daughter, although smart and inquisitive, was far too young at age three to understand the implications of what might happen.
I explained that the doctors would get me better, but that I would feel a little weak for a while, especially after the grueling nine-hour operation to cut out the growth of my ovary, which had grown rapidly and when he was 4.5 kg when I removed it.
Because of my age, doctors were able to leave the other ovary intact, preserving my fertility, while removing 80 percent of the affected ovary.
I would also be monitored with ultrasounds and blood tests, as I was wary that the cancer might return to the remaining ovary.
My daughter came to visit me at the hospital, held my hand and walked around the ward with me while I got my IV going. She seemed comfortable doing things.
The Princess of Wales pictured with her family during her last official royal engagement during the Christmas Day church service at Sandringham on December 25
The Prince and Princess of Wales joined their children George, Louis and Charlotte for their first day at Lambrook School in Berkshire in September 2022
In the photo: The Princess of Wales attends the Christmas carol service at Westminster Abbey with her husband Prince William and their children George, Charlotte and Louis on December 8 last year
Although this was set in a time before the internet and social media supported our lives, it turned out that I had made the biggest mistake in thinking that a three-year-old child was too young to understand death.
I assumed that because children can talk about life-and-death matters one minute and talk about something prosaic the next, it means they can handle bad news well.
I wish I hadn’t swept it under the rug, that I had taken the time to let go of every facet of what she might have been thinking, to reconcile her fears.
Fortunately, her anxiety subsided over time, as my daughter saw me getting stronger and coming back from every hospital check-up with a clean bill of health.
It sounds like Kate took great care in telling her children about her illness, taking all the time necessary.
George, Charlotte and Louis will no doubt have had many questions and I’m sure they will continue. But it is clear that their mother deals with all concerns – and will continue to do so – in a textbook manner.