How much it’s costing YOU to have your adult children still live at home – and how to get them out without causing a family rift

‘I love my sweet son/daughter, but I wish they would just move…’

It was once so taboo that few parents dared to say it out loud – but this complaint is becoming increasingly common among older generations.

While parents of twenty-somethings understand the difficulty of the housing market – and the obvious benefits of having adult children living at home rent-free while saving for a down payment – ​​they are also not immune to the challenges of having their children still in a house living. their back pockets long into their twenties or even thirties.

This frustration is backed up by statistics: cash-strapped parents – many of whom left home at age 18 and never looked back – spend thousands more on food, water and electricity bills just to accommodate their adult children during a cost of living crisis. .

Unaffordable housing and a vacancy crisis are keeping Millennials and Gen Z Aussies living at home longer – and it’s costing long-suffering parents $4,700 a year.

Australia also has some of the most expensive housing in the world compared to incomes, meaning people with full-time jobs are living with their parents longer in the hope of saving for that 20 percent mortgage deposit.

A majority of young men aged 18 to 29 still live at home with their parents: 54 percent are in this situation, compared to 47 percent of young women.

Younger people are increasingly staying in their parental home because moving is simply too expensive, according to the University of Melbourne’s Household, Income and Labor Dynamics in Australia survey of 17,000 people.

Professor Roger Wilkins, a social researcher, says more and more younger people are now going to university, leading to delays in reaching typical life milestones.

“We have seen increases in higher education participation, declining full-time employment opportunities for young people, rising housing costs and a trend toward later marriage and family formation,” he says.

“The traditional signs of adulthood now occur later in life.”

Finance author and mother of two Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon warns that the costs of keeping adult children at home can be financially catastrophic for parents.

“It’s a real danger: a complete cash catastrophe, or what I call a ‘cash astrophe,’” she tells me.

Nick Tebbey, national executive officer of the Relationships Australia consultancy group, also says tensions between parents and their adult children still living at home could potentially cause permanent damage to the relationship.

“Like any tension that continues to fester, this one will only get worse,” he explains.

“We certainly see situations where relationships between adults and their adult children break and sometimes it takes a lot of work, if it’s even possible, to repair that.”

Finance author and mother of two Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon warns that the costs of keeping adult children at home can be financially catastrophic for parents

The financial costs for parents are not the only problem. Parents must also adjust to their children bringing home new sexual partners, while younger people are increasingly connecting on dating apps.

“In this situation it is important that parents are clear about their expectations, but also understand that their children are from a different generation,” says Mr Tebbey.

Ms Pedersen-McKinnon advises parents to charge boarding fees at half the market rent for their suburb to cover bills and help their children save for a mortgage.

“Use it as an exercise in financial discipline, but still give your child that extra capacity to save the excess money,” she says.

“Even the exercise of payment governance, if that transaction is official, will be an important part of proving to a bank that they are a good risk for a loan.”

Those who are feeling generous may also be able to give that board money back to their children if they qualify for a loan to help them with mortgage repayments.

‘You can then steal away half of what they pay you and you can even give them that as a surprise bonus – nothing is expected, they have to try hard; they deserve it, they appreciate it, they don’t take anything for granted,” she says.

Home-rich but low-income baby boomers and older Generation

Parents with adult children at home now pay an average of $3,314 more per year on groceries for each son or daughter still living at home.

Relationships Australia’s national executive officer Nick Tebbey says tensions between parents and their adult children still living at home could potentially cause permanent damage

That’s based on consumer group Choice’s findings of 14 common items – such as milk, bread, sugar, pasta, tea bags, fruit and vegetables – costing $63.74 a week, based on the average store at Coles, Woolworths and Aldi.

Electricity bills also cost $646 more per year, based on Canstar’s calculation for an individual costing $161.50 per quarter by using more appliances.

Water bills also cost an average of $179 per person per quarter, which equates to $716 per year.

In addition to contributing to the costs by paying board, adult children living at home can make the situation worse if they do not do some household chores, such as vacuuming, washing dishes or cleaning the bathroom.

“It can lead to different expectations or different understandings of what is acceptable,” Mr Tebbey adds.

Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon is the author of How to Become Mortgage Free Like Me