The heartbreaking obituary of a haunted man has sent waves of grief online after his brother candidly summed up his rough life with the “brutally honest” truth.
Brian Eldridge died last month at age 76 after a life of bullying and exploitation, wrote his brother Steve, who lay dead for at least four days before being found due to his desolate existence.
“He had no friends or family to keep up with him,” Steve said. “He was quiet, smart, generous, and lonely…I will miss him.”
His heartbreaking story of labor exploitation, mental illness and isolation has touched many, who say they feel guilty for never being given the chance to help a lost man they didn’t even know.
In an interview with Pioneer pressSteve said he decided to be “brutally honest” when he wrote his brother’s obituary because “his story is sad and true.”
Brian Eldridge was described as having “no friends and no family to keep up with him” when he died last month. His brother said he persistently wore a torn jacket despite his relatives begging him to improve his condition
The janitor and paper deliverer would have been painfully shy since he was a boy. He is pictured in his high school photo in 1965
Steve Eldridge said his brother’s obvious mental illness manifested itself in a number of ways, including constantly wearing a ripped brown jacket and refusing to cut his hair until it grew to his calves.
“Did he try to get people to turn away from him so he wouldn’t have to talk to them or face them? I don’t know,’ he wondered.
Steve described his brother as painfully clumsy since he was a young boy, leading him to be “bullied as a child and teenager for his shyness and vulnerability.”
“As an adult, he didn’t fit in,” the obituary continued, saying Brian wasn’t even allowed to apply for most jobs because he never learned to use a computer or cell phone.
He was forced to support himself through aluminum can recycling, janitor jobs, and a newspaper route. A comment from Scott H Frantzen, who worked for Pioneer Press when Eldridge delivered the paper, paid homage to the trusty paperboy.
“Brian was loved by all of us at Pioneer Press and the hundreds of customers to whom he delivered the newspaper every day for many, many years,” the commentary read. “Rest in peace my friend.”
While the newspaper seemingly parted ways on good terms, Steve said his brother’s last job ended in disaster — typifying his tragic life.
“His last job was cleaning a bingo hall at midnight for $10 an hour, seven nights a week, 364 days a year with just under the minimum number of hours per week to have rights or benefits,” he wrote.
His employer fired him on Christmas Eve without notice. He had been working there for more than 15 years.’
The sad obituary ended with the sad facts of Brian’s life – he had “no friends or family to keep up with him,” and he was “quiet, smart, generous, and lonely.”
Steve Eldridge said he wrote his brother’s obituary with “brutal honesty” because no one knew him, and he wanted to tell the truth about Brian’s desolate life
Brian Eldridge (right) pictured with his brothers Steve (left), who wrote his obituary, and David (center), who was schizophrenic and died in October. Steve said David’s death contributed to his callous honesty in the obituary
Steve said he last spoke to his brother on Brian’s birthday, May 4, and last saw him in person in October 2022.
That same month, their brother David, who suffered from schizophrenia, also died, and Steve said he then had to write another sad obituary, which led to his “brutal honesty” about Brian.
“When our other brother, David, died in October, I actually explained how his life was shot down because of schizophrenia,” he said.
“I just wanted to be honest with Brian’s obituary because his story is sad and true. I myself struggle with the question: ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ I have to live with the guilt, regret, and shame that I didn’t try harder to stay closer, see him more, call him more, be there for him.”
In his obituary for his brother David, Steve described him as an “energetic, charming, talented, happy child, teenager, and young adult” who was later “overwhelmed by schizophrenia in his mid-twenties.”
In his obituary for his brother David, he described him as an “energetic, charming, talented, happy child, teenager and young adult” who was later “overwhelmed by schizophrenia in his mid-twenties.”
Speaking of how Brian’s life spiraled out of control, he said he refused to cut his hair or wear clean clothes, and when he died his hair was “halfway up his calves.”
“He would probably grow it for 45 years. He wouldn’t cut it. My mom once offered him $10,000 to cut his hair, but he wouldn’t do it. At that point it was just, “It’s mine.” Of course it made him look even more different than he already did,” he said.
Steve added that he insisted on wearing a dingy brown jacket that had “holes and ragged edges all over it” – which Brian is wearing in the picture from his obituary.
“It was horrible and it smelled, but he didn’t want to put on another one. My father had three or four coats that looked almost like this, and they were sitting there in the closet and he didn’t want to use them.
“I kept saying to him, ‘You look like someone who lives under the Lake Street Bridge. You don’t have to.’ But he was adamant. That’s what he was wearing, and that was it. Was he trying to get people to turn away from him so he wouldn’t have to talk to them or face them? Don’t know.’
After the obituary was published online, the tragic details sparked a flurry of tributes from both strangers who wished they had known him, and those who encountered Brian but were never a part of his life.
“I didn’t know Brian, but the thought of Brian will stay with me,” said one comment.
“May we all keep the thought of this man with us and use his memory to inspire each of us to be kind to others, to give to others,” it added. ‘Tomorrow is not guaranteed. May you rest in peace Brian. I wish I had known you.’
Another person who claimed to know Brian told Steve, “Your brother was one of my customers at the McDonald’s in Mounds View. He once told me that everything in my life would get better. It could take a long time, but that it would get better.
He always smiled at me in his way and I always smiled back. I hadn’t seen him in a while and wondered what had happened to him. I am very sorry for your loss.’
“A humble life for a man who worked hard for very little,” another commented. Because his biggest impact on so many strangers is his death. Rest well, Brian.’
In a comment as sad as Brian’s obituary, an anonymous poster that went only by “M” said, “I think my son Christian will find him in heaven and be his friend.”
One person wrote his tribute directly to Brian saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t have the privilege and pleasure of meeting you. You sound like a kind soul who deserved a better life.
“Please know that you have had a positive influence on all the people you have helped.”