Dating expert reveals how many dates you should go on before sleeping with someone – and why waiting can make your relationship STRONGER
A dating expert has revealed how many dates you should go on before having sex — and says waiting longer can make your relationship stronger.
Jacob Lucas, 30, from Westbury, Wiltshire, lives by helping people in their relationships.
He recently addressed the age-old question of how long to wait before getting intimate, revealing that the old-fashioned “wait for three dates” rule has some merit.
He also explained that the recent trend of celibacy among millennials — abstaining from sex as a way to develop self-confidence — may actually do more harm than good.
Jacob believes celibacy can be a “crutch” for people who struggle with dating – and that they should change their sexual habits rather than giving up altogether.
Jacob Lucas, 30, from Westbury, Wiltshire, reveals how many dates you should go on before having sex with someone – and says waiting longer can make your relationship stronger (stock image)
The dating coach said, “I tell all my clients, wait until the third date before having sex.” Many of my clients who wait for the third date end up in long-term relationships.
“If you just stop having sex altogether, you put all the emphasis on sex, but the core of it is the emotional connection. Many of my clients who wait for the third date end up in long-term relationships.
“If you want a relationship, but you have sex too early, it just won’t last — you need to get to know them.” It’s an old method, but it works, and sometimes things don’t need to be fixed.’
Jacob added that the current trend of people going “celibate” for a period of time could be harmful.
He said it won’t solve any problems in the long run, and when you start dating again, you’ll just make the same mistakes you did before. Instead, Jacob said people need to set boundaries and change their view of sex.
He said: ‘Going celimate means hyper-fixating on sex as the sole purpose of your dating life. You have to reevaluate how you see it – and see it as something you do with someone you really like.”
He added that waiting on three dates also reduces the chance of ghosting – because they’ll see you as “relationship material” rather than something “casual,” explaining that waiting shows you’re serious about something for the longer term and you would be more inclined to settle down.
Jacob said, “If you meet someone new and you have sex too soon, you can’t expect that person to be in a long-term relationship. Because then you have laid the foundation as just sex. Waiting three dates means you have time to form an emotional connection rather than it just being physical.”
Jacob (pictured) explained that the recent celibacy trend among millennials – abstaining from sex as a way to develop self-confidence – may actually do more harm than good
“Having sex consistently when you first meet people before forming an emotional connection leads to you developing a negative mental connotation with sex,” Jacob said.
“But once you’ve developed a stronger bond with someone and you know they’re serious, you don’t have to keep it up.
He added: “In terms of real laymen, stop having sex with idiots who have red flags and who you know are not serious to commit.
“Wait to find out if someone is right for you — and if after three dates you think they are, go ahead and have sex all the way!”
Jacob recently released a dating guide for women called Her Dating Coach which is available on Amazon.