I’ve been a surrogate five times… why I’m addicted to carrying other people’s children
Ariel Taylor loved being pregnant, but knew that after having her daughter, she was done having children for herself.
Wanting to help others, the Ontario, Canada native decided to become a surrogate mother with not one other baby, but five.
Surrogacy is a process in which a woman carries and gives birth to a baby on behalf of another woman, often because she cannot become pregnant or carry a fetus herself. It is often the way LGBTQ couples can expand their families.
The practice is highly controversial, with some conservative groups such as the Heritage Foundation calling it “exploitation” that “turns the female body into a rental commodity” and reduces women “to ‘rent-a-womb’ service providers.”
Ms. Taylor, 33, is used to hearing this criticism and questions about her motives. Many people, she said, fear she is being exploited because of her uterus.
She said: ‘The truth is we are just ordinary women who want to help someone else by carrying their baby.’
After giving birth to her daughter in 2015, Ms Taylor had four more babies between 2017 and 2024.
She said: ‘I think many people assume that surrogate mothers feel sadness or disappointment after birth, but for many of us the opposite is the case. I look back on my surrogacy journeys fondly.”
Ariel Taylor, 33, has been a surrogate mother five times and an egg donor six times, motivated by her desire to help others experience parenthood
Ariel began her surrogacy journey in 2015 after giving birth to her daughter and realizing she wanted to help others experience parenthood. In eight years, she endured five surrogacy pregnancies, including two for the same family
A small proportion of babies born each year arrive through surrogacy – roughly 750 to 1,000.
A woman who decides to become a surrogate mother for another person undergoes in vitro fertilization. During this process, she is fertilized when doctors create an embryo by fertilizing the intended mother’s egg (or an egg from a donor) with sperm from the father (or a donor).
Although Taylor shared no genetic material with the babies she delivered, she remained a fixture in their lives.
She said: ‘There is a misconception that surrogate mothers never see the children again, but in my experience we have become family friends.
“These kids know who I am and it’s great to be a part of their lives in some way.”
Her surrogacy journey began in 2016.
After giving birth to her daughter Scarlet a year earlier, she knew she didn’t want another child of her own, but she also knew that she enjoyed being pregnant and that she could use that to help others.
In January 2016, she matched with a family and their embryo was implanted in her uterus. Unfortunately, she suffered a miscarriage four months later.
She tried again in the fall of 2016 and gave birth to her first surrogate in August 2017. She delivered another baby in December 2018, one in April 2021 and the last in July 2023.
Ariel said the most rewarding part of the process is handing babies over to their parents. She maintains relationships with the families
Mrs Taylor is pictured with her daughter Scarlet (right) and a baby she was carrying
Ariel, a fertility therapist and founder of the surrogacy support network Carried with Love, said: ‘Handing the baby over to their parents was always the most rewarding part of the process.
‘I was really lucky that the pregnancy seemed to agree with me most of the time. It made me feel happier and I didn’t gain much weight or have any complications.’
She carried as many babies as she could and underwent the maximum number of C-sections allowed for surrogate mothers: four.
After her fifth birth in the summer of 2023, she experienced a more difficult postpartum period. She was swollen, swollen and in pain all over.
She said: ‘It was my body’s way of saying, ‘That’s enough,’ and I had to accept that this was the end of my pregnancy journey.
‘I will always cherish the experiences I have had. I think I was made for surrogacy. And what a wonderful way to use my body for good.’
In addition to being a surrogate mother five times, she has also donated her eggs to six different families in hopes of having babies.
Ms Taylor is pictured with her partner Brandon (right) and a baby she has delivered. She said Brandon is very supportive of her journey and agrees that surrogacy is a great act of service
The photo shows a couple who helped Ms. Taylor by acting as a surrogate mother and their child who she was carrying
People tend to believe that after giving birth, surrogate mothers lose contact with the families they helped. However, Mrs. Taylor is close family friends with all the couples she has helped and is present in the children’s lives
Women who want to become surrogate mothers must meet a long list of criteria: live in a surrogacy-friendly state, be between the ages of 21 and 43, be in good health with a history of healthy pregnancies and births, a BMI of about 32 or lower, and a recent history without major surgery and pregnancy complications.
Potential surrogates must also be non-smokers, non-drinkers, and drug-free. They must have no history of mental disorders and must undergo a psychological evaluation. They must also be financially stable and have a clean criminal record.
Surrogate mothers in Canada do not benefit from their decision to carry another woman’s baby. It is illegal to pay or offer a woman to become a surrogate mother.
However, surrogates can be reimbursed for costs related to the process, ranging from doctor visits, medications and travel to maternity clothes, groceries and lost wages.
Ms Taylor told DailyMail.com: ‘On my first trip I was reimbursed $20,000 and on my last trip I was reimbursed $35,000, including all my lost wages. The rest were all in between those amounts.’
She kept a thorough receipt for every purchase before each pregnancy. Some of the other costs she was reimbursed for included prenatal classes, vitamins, childcare, visits to the chiropractor and more holistic care such as acupuncture and massage.
She said: “So the simple answer is I haven’t made any money.
‘On my last trip, my expenses were much higher than my spending limit and I only took two weeks off after giving birth.’
In the US, surrogate mothers can be paid $100,000 or more to carry a person or couple’s baby, and the intended parent or parents also assume all of her health care costs during the pregnancy.
One of the factors complicating surrogacy in the US is that it is not legal in every state. Nebraska and Louisiana currently ban paid surrogacy.
Paid surrogacy was brought into the spotlight in the 1980s by a controversial lawsuit in which a surrogate mother who was paid to carry a New Jersey couple’s pregnancy changed her mind after giving birth and decided she wanted to keep the baby.
The couple who paid the woman to carry the child filed a lawsuit and ultimately won custody. In response, New Jersey, New York and other states implemented years-long bans on paid surrogacy.
The case – colloquially known as ‘Baby M’ – made surrogacy a nationally controversial issue, with people questioning the ethics of wealthy couples paying surrogate mothers – who are sometimes significantly poorer – for the temporary use of their wombs.