My boyfriend’s mother gatecrashed our holiday – now she wants ME to apologise for not spending enough time with her

A woman revealed her partner’s mother asked to go on holiday with them and became upset that they weren’t spending enough time with her.

On British parenting platform Mumsnet, the woman revealed that her boyfriend’s mother only wanted to “lay down, sunbathe and read books” during the trip, while they were more interested in doing activities.

She explained that they invited her to go to the beach and water parks, but she declined.

After they got home, she received a text from her partner’s mother saying she felt “very lonely and sad over the holidays” and that she expects an apology.

Many rushed to the comments to leave their own thoughts, with some wondering why the mother didn’t complain to her own son.

The message read: ‘My friend’s mother is angry about that DP [dear partner] and I didn’t spend enough time with her over the holidays. I have been with my partner for just over a year now, we are in our late twenties.

‘She [partner’s mother] works for a travel agency and therefore receives a significant discount on some holidays. She said she wanted to go on holiday with us. I had my doubts because I didn’t know if it would be difficult, we’re not exactly close. But DP thought it would be fun.

‘We went on holiday and she is a real sunbather, she just wanted to sunbathe and read books, that’s absolutely fine! No problem with that. But we like to explore and go to the beach, water parks, etc.”

The couple asked if she wanted to participate in the activities, but were always told no. Some days they stayed with her because they didn’t want her to feel like she was on vacation alone.

The woman added, “But we’re bored and sitting all day, so we’re going to do something. Even if it was just for a short walk to explore, she didn’t want to come.

‘Now that we are back, she has said to me that she felt very lonely and sad during the holidays and has also made her realize that she is lonely in general, because seeing myself and DP together, hand in hand and together laughing etc. made her upset.

‘I think she felt a bit like a third wheel, which wasn’t the intention. We don’t do PDA, have never kissed or cuddled or acted inappropriately in public. But I think it is just a confirmation for her that she is alone and sees us enjoying a holiday together.

‘It seems like she’s expecting some sort of apology, she acts angry at me (I’m not sure why it’s just me) and says she felt left out. She expressed all this to me via text and I have not responded yet.

‘Am I the unreasonable one here? I just feel like she went on vacation with a couple, didn’t want to do anything with us other than lay by the pool and is now angry about it. But I don’t know how that’s because of me? I also paid for the holiday with my money and didn’t feel like hanging around the hotel all day.’

Many suggested that the woman needed to leave her partner to deal with it and ignore the text messages.

One person said: ‘Did you show your dp? Let him handle it. She is his mother. Maybe just reply, sorry you feel that way, and leave it at that.’

Taking to the British parenting platform, the woman revealed that her boyfriend’s mother just wanted to “lay down, sunbathe and read books” during the trip, but she was more interested in doing activities.

Many suggested that the woman should leave the matter to her partner and ignore the text messages

Another said: ‘Leave it to your friend to deal with it. Send him the texts. And remember, if it comes up again, the discounts aren’t worth it!’

Someone else added: ‘Let him handle it, don’t respond at all. What did she expect from a couple’s holiday? As long as you haven’t actively excluded her (which it sounds like you haven’t), she has no reason to complain.’

A fourth said: ‘Don’t answer. Let your boyfriend deal with her. And don’t go on holiday with her anymore.

‘It’s time she found her own friends to run away with. Avoid avoid avoid, otherwise she will become your problem.’

Others felt sorry for the woman and suggested that perhaps she was just trying to ‘open up’ to her son’s partner.

One person said: ‘Are you sure she blames you? Is she just expressing herself?

‘Maybe respond something like. Oh, I’m sorry that you felt lonely and that it made you realize that you would like more connection in your life.

“Anyway, can I help you get out and meet new people?” What about XYX? Obviously you are not responsible for her loneliness, but it would be nice to help her a little.’

Others felt sorry for the woman and suggested that perhaps she was just trying to ‘open up’ to her son’s partner

However, the OP implied that they don’t have a close relationship, therefore it would be “out of character.”

The woman said her partner’s mother did not want to participate in activities and felt like a ‘third wheel’ (stock photo)

Another said: ‘Are you sure she’s ‘blaming’ you or making excuses? It makes perfect sense that she felt a bit lonely and like a third wheel, and it’s good that she realizes it’s a broader problem. She should be able to share this without you taking it personally (assuming she’s just sharing). I would sympathize, but not apologize.”

To which the woman replied: ‘That could be the case, but it is very strange. We don’t have that kind of relationship, we started off badly and never really recovered much.

“We just accept each other for DP’s sake. Her wording in the text seems to indicate that she resents us for excluding her and that the vacation was not what she expected or had in mind. If she’s just expressing herself, fine, but what’s the point… I don’t really know what to say to it.”

‘Thanks for all the answers. I’m going to take the advice of what most people have said and wait until DP gets home and then reply or call her.”