I ate like Donald Trump for a day… I’ve been bed-ridden ever since

I’m writing this from my pitch-black bedroom with a pack of Tylenol and a jug of water next to my bed as I battle a pulsating migraine.

I don’t have the flu and I don’t have a hangover – I’m recovering from a day of trying to eat and drink like Donald Trump.

I actually have a newfound respect for the president-elect, who consumes multiple McDonald’s burgers, Milky Way candy bars, Doritos chips, milkshakes and up to a dozen Diet Cokes per day.

How, at the age of 78, he managed to survive two assassination attempts, tour the country at hours-long rallies and win an election while consuming this cocktail of hyper-palatable mush is beyond me – I haven’t even managed to to get to work and I’m more than half his age.

Trump’s infamous diet has been back in the news lately for a number of reasons. Ironically, he has fast food crusader Robert F. Kennedy Jr. nominated as his Minister of Health.

And Trump’s longtime friend and UFC boss Dana White — who made multiple campaign stops with him this year — recently said he was baffled by Trump’s diet and refusal to drink water.

‘It’s six o’clock. So I’ll ask him, ‘Do you want water?’ White said, adding that Trump said “no.” ‘And then someone brings him a Coke. And he drinks Coke. I’ve never seen him drink water. Someday,” White said.

After putting myself through some grueling diet and exercise routines in the name of journalism, I decided to try Trump’s diet and get into the mind of America’s 47th president.

I thought about trying it for a week, but then I decided to just do it one day, thinking, “How bad can a single day be?”

But boy, was I wrong…

EYES ON THE FRIES: I started off good, but the caffeine from the soda caught up with me

According to multiple sources, Trump is not a big breakfast eater and instead opts for a big lunch or a mid-morning snack to keep him going.

But I’m hungry in the morning, so I had to eat.

Although Trump’s favorite chips are Nacho Cheese Doritos, I couldn’t bear to spend all day with cheesy breath, so I opted for a sharing bag of the Cool Ranch flavor (I did say I’m hungry in the morning have!)

I also drank two Diet Cokes – I figured if I was going to get twelve of these bad boys in me, I might as well start early.

My belly was full (not in a nice satiated way) when I finished this at 10am. But by 11 a.m., my body had quickly worked its way through the more than forty chemicals and ingredients in the chips and soda.

I got into an argument over nothing with my partner while we were walking through Manhattan and threw a tantrum that they described as the “worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

The strange thing is that even though the Doritos bag contained 2,250 calories (almost as many as the CDC recommends men eat in an entire day), my hunger pangs were extremely intense as the fullness subsided, which I attributed to the fact that the chips were completely empty. of nutrients and fiber, which take longer to be broken down in the body, helping you feel fuller for longer.

This mixture of feeling guilty about what I was doing to my body and being so hungry made me easily irritable.

I devoured a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos for breakfast, which contained 2,250 calories

For lunch I had a well-done steak with ketchup, which, according to the politician’s former butler at Mar-a-Lago, was Trump’s favorite lunch.

Considering how cranky and nutrient-poor I already was, I decided to add some lettuce leaves for health and mental health purposes.

I ate the whole thing greedily, giddy that I was finally having real food – but the ultra-sweet taste of the ketchup and the meaty taste of the steak made the meal quite sickening.

I washed the whole thing down with another Diet Coke.

Then, feeling full and energized, I took a 30-minute walk around the block to try to calm my system down a bit.

My partner chose not to accompany me this time, which he said was completely unrelated to the events of that morning.

Three more Diet Cokes later – I was racing to hit those twelve goals – I had now consumed 276 milligrams (mg) of caffeine, or almost three cups of coffee.

I was feeling slightly anxious at this point from the caffeine (I normally drink decaf because I hate the jitters coffee gives me).

For dinner at 6:30 PM it was two Big Macs and two filet-o-fish.

Some close Trump allies claim he only has one of each, but in the book Let Trump Be Trump, his aides say that when The Don is hungry, he gets double.

That suited me well, I was quite hungry and looking forward to a good meal.

Trump was supposedly going to have this meal with a small chocolate milkshake, but I opted for a Fanta instead to try and meet the 12 soft drink goal.

For lunch I had a well-done steak with ketchup, which, according to the politician’s former butler at Mar-a-Lago, was Trump’s favorite lunch.

Trump’s love of McDonald’s and fast food is apparently rooted in the fact that he is a famous germaphobe.

In 2016, he told CNN’s town hall, “I like cleanliness, and I think it’s better to go there than somewhere where you have no idea where the food comes from.” It’s a certain standard.’

Considering how cranky and nutrient-poor I already was, I decided to throw in some lettuce leaves for health and mental health purposes

I have to say that the two Filet-o-Fish, which I had never had before, were actually quite tasty. Maybe I’ll order them again.

But the Big Macs didn’t agree with me. Every bite was a struggle, my stomach was making unusual noises and I started gagging on every bite as I tried to put it in my mouth and finish it quickly.

I downed the rest of the Fanta and then sat down to watch two episodes of The Great British Baking Show with another can of Diet Coke.

This cost me seven cans, or 322 mg of caffeine (the Fanta Orange was caffeine-free), which is just under the FDA limit of 400 mg per day.

Then I tapped out, I wanted to be able to sleep!

Normally I would lie down on the couch at this point, but lying down was an impossible task that caused severe acid reflux.

I sat up and stared straight at the television.

At 10 p.m., I climbed into bed and read the website DailyMail.com with my wide-open, caffeine-fueled eyes. Then I listened to my favorite podcast and scrolled X.

But I was still wide awake. I tried a 30 minute meditation but still couldn’t sleep.

This mixture of guilt about what I was doing to my body and being hungry so easily made me irritable

PARTY: The above shows the Donald Trump diet I followed

The clock struck 1am, 2am and then 3am before I fell asleep in what my fitness tracker recorded as my worst night’s sleep ever.

WHOOP considers anything below 70 percent as poor sleep, and anything above 85 percent as optimal. Normally I waste away a little over 60 percent.

I only scored 27 percent last night.

This would explain Trump’s late-night tweeting frenzy, I thought.

To stay true to Dana White’s comments, I avoided water all day.

This, combined with the 6,800 mg of sodium I consumed (three times the recommended daily limit), might explain why I couldn’t sleep a wink.

Consuming a high-sodium meal at dinner can contribute to sleep disturbances, partly due to increased blood pressure and fluid retention.

I didn’t smile as much after eating McDonald’s

In total, I consumed just over 5,000 calories and 253 grams of fat, three times the recommended level of 78 grams.

I also consumed a total of 108 grams of sugar, which is three times the FDA recommendation of up to 36 grams per day for men.

Many people would turn away from this and look down on Trump for his dietary choices, but I’ve gone the opposite route.

To be able to eat this every day and function at the highest level, he is truly a force of nature.