A new start after 60: I became a ‘hummingbird’ for people with dementia
AAt the age of 63, Ann Thomas-Carter entered the Framland care home for the first time and was immediately surprised. “It didn’t look like a care home at all; it was this beautiful old country house overlooking the Oxfordshire countryside and there were only 21 residents,” she says. “It felt like one big family, especially because everyone calls the residents ‘family members’. I fit in straight away.”
Thomas-Carter used to work as a pharmacy clerk at Boots in Oxford city centre. “I’ve worked at Boots most of my life and it was a safe place for me, where I could come face to face with customers and help them,” she says. But when it became apparent that the job was about to change, Thomas-Carter decided to retire. “I thought I would spend time putting around the garden, but after a few weeks without work I started to feel like I should never have left.”
She spoke to a friend and former colleague about her new lack of purpose when they suggested Thomas-Carter volunteer at Framland, which is run by the charity Pilgrims’ Friend Society. “I’d never done anything other than take care of my parents when they had cancer and help clients when they’d just gotten bad news, so I had no idea what to expect,” she says. ‘Still, I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. I showed up on that first day in 2017 to shadow a more experienced volunteer and six hours went in six minutes. Everyone was so welcoming and it was exciting not knowing what could happen from one hour to the next.”
Thomas-Carter signed up for a part-time job – and a steep learning curve in caring for older people, including studying for an NVQ diploma in adult care. “It was fun learning so many new things at my age, including law and healthcare, and I quickly realized that what I enjoyed most was helping people with dementia,” she says. “It’s such a rewarding role because you see people’s faces light up when we spend time with them. Because their time is so valuable, it is an honor to share it with them.”
Thomas-Carter, now 70, is a permanent member of the team and a specialist “Hummingbird” – the name given to staff who keep residents with dementia company. “We flutter from person to person, just like a bird,” she says. “You have to be very patient with people with dementia because there is a lot of repetition and they can be irritable, so maybe we can switch to someone else. At worst, they may come out with unexpected things, like swearing, but in that case it’s not really them talking. At other times it is so beautiful to hear them tell their life stories.”
Thomas-Carter says her work has given her an appreciation for the privilege of growing older and a deeper ability to understand others. “I never judge a book by its cover these days, because you have no idea what people have been through or how they feel,” she says. “Sometimes I see someone who keeps asking what day of the week it is, and they come away with the most fantastic memories from 60 or 70 years ago.”
She describes the social distancing and lockdowns of the Covid pandemic as a particularly difficult time, with staff having to wear PPE and residents worried about the threat of the virus and unable to receive visitors. “Video calling was difficult for family members to get used to, but now it makes a difference,” she says. “It is also always sad when a family member passes away, but they have all had such incredible lives and it is wonderful to be part of making their end of life comfortable.”
Thomas-Carter is now one of the older members of the Framland team, but she doesn’t see herself stopping anytime soon. “As long as I do my job well and can stay healthy, I will continue,” she says. “I work with a fantastic group of over 65 years old and we also have a lot to give and share with the young team. Age is just a number and the longer we all live, the more care we will need, so I am very happy to help others while I can.”