Psychologist slams I’m a Celeb’s Tulisa’s claim that she’s demisexual – and reveals the disturbing truth behind the term

Tulisa ‘came out’ last night as a demisexual – a sexuality where you are sexually attracted to someone you have an emotional connection with, rather than a physical one.

The N-Dubz star, 36, made her confession during last night’s episode of I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here during a candid chat with her campmates about her dating life.

Now a psychotherapist has told MailOnline that she believes demisexuality is not a legitimate sexual preference, and that using the label ‘pathologises’ healthy relationships.

Bhavna Raithatha, who is recognized by the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy, said she “doesn’t like” the term ‘demisexual’.

‘Developing attraction to someone based on an emotional connection has been around forever,’ she told MailOnline.

“Just because we’ve given it a label now doesn’t make it anything new.”

Ms Raithatha said the use of the term is a symptom of today’s ‘transactional hook-up culture’.

“We used to take the time to meet people, get to know each other, go out to eat, talk to each other, find out who they were and whether we connected or not,” she said.

‘We went on a second date, a third and then it became a relationship. It was a slower, more meaningful and more conscious process compared to what we see today.

“Now it’s about the ‘swipe this way, swipe that way and out’ hook-up.”

Tulisa also told campmates that she had been celibate for three years, adding that the thought of being with someone makes her “physically sick.”

“I feel like being demisexual, I need a really close emotional connection with someone,” she added.

‘I need real depth. I’m a slow, slow burner, I’ve been celibate for over three years.”

Tulisa previously faced a high-profile lawsuit after her ex-boyfriend Justin Edwards, with whom she broke up in 2009, released a sex tape of her in 2012.

She has previously told how she felt “judged, disgusted and ashamed” over the ordeal and said it took her “many years” to come to terms with it and get over it.

Releasing sex tapes or photos taken in a relationship after a breakup – a revenge porn trend – was not illegal at the time, meaning Tulisa only managed to get a court apology from her ex.

In England and Wales, this was specifically made a criminal offense in 2015, punishable by a prison sentence of up to two years.

Ms Raithatha said she was aware of other cases where victims of revenge porn claimed in the aftermath to be “demisexual”, which they say is a way to protect themselves in future relationships.

“It should come as no surprise given her (Tulisa’s) personal experience, which was so harrowing and such a betrayal by an ex-partner,” she said.

At the height of her fame, Tulisa faced a very high-profile lawsuit after her ex-boyfriend Justin Edwards, whom she had broken up with in 2009, released a sex tape of her in 2012.

Ms Raithatha added that while ‘demisexuality’ is not a real or useful label, the feelings that motivate it are.

It could be seen as a rejection of the instant sex-on-demand attitude and dating apps that fuel it in modern society, she argued.

She also said that an increase in demisexuality could be linked to an increase in the use of revenge porn in recent decades.

There is increasing interest in demisexuality, both in Britain and around the world.

Google data shows that searches for the term have exploded since 2010, a trend mirrored globally.

Forums for demisexuals, also known as ‘demis’, have also flourished.

One, on the website Reddit, has grown from 12,000 members in 2019 to almost 100,000 this year.

Tulisa has come out as demisexual, a form of sexuality meaning she is only sexually attracted to someone she has an emotional connection with

Demisexuality is considered a form of asexuality, itself a form of sexuality defined as not generally being sexually attracted to others, or at least not in the typical way that most people are.

Like many modern approaches to sexuality, it is considered a spectrum and a fluid, meaning that people can go through periods of demisexuality or simply remain that way throughout their lives.

It is unknown how many Britons are demisexual; the term is said to have only been coined in 2006.

There are some estimates for the prevalence of asexuality, with studies suggesting the figure is between 1 and 2 percent of Britons, around a million people, some of whom are believed to be demise.

However, the 2021 census in England and Wales found that only 0.06 percent of the population was asexual.

Demisexuality joins a growing number of alternative sexualities that people, especially from younger generations, are embracing.

One of these is ‘abrosexual’, which means that a person is attracted to different genders at different times.

For example, an abrosexual may be attracted to men for a while – sometimes for several years – before moving on to women, and then back again.

Others include “ecosexuality,” the state of finding nature sexually attractive, whether that means feeling at one with nature’s “energy” or physically caressing nature.

There are dozens of other obscure sexualities, including autochorisexuals who are only aroused by fantasies or erotic thoughts, but who have no desire to have sex with real people.

Or, unlike demis, fraysexuals, those who are only or most attracted to strangers and less to people they know well or form emotional bonds with.