I’ve sworn off men after Trump’s election – now it’s time for thousands of women to join me

I’ve come to the conclusion that men can be dangerous.

That’s why two years ago, at the age of 34, I chose to break away from men completely.

For some it is a radical idea. To me it felt completely natural.

And now, after Donald Trump’s re-election last week, thousands of women are joining me in this awakening.

It’s called the 4B movement. It started in South Korea in 2016 in response to a horrific crime: the brutal murder of a woman in a subway station by a man who reportedly said he was “tired of being ignored by women.”

From this tragedy a wave of female anger rose into action. Women took control of their lives by embracing the four ‘no’s’: no ​​heterosexual sex, no marriage, no children and no relationships. The name ‘4B’ comes from the Korean words for these four choices, all of which start with the letter ‘b’.

I discovered 4B in 2022. At the time, I was in a state of transformation as my business took off and I experienced the typical questions that come with massive change: What do I want? What would I want? What future do I see for myself?

Now the lifestyle has brought me a sense of peace, confidence and strength that I have never experienced before.

I grew up Catholic in a large Republican family in St. Louis, Missouri. As a child, I spent weekends at church, participating in services and connecting with the congregation. Twice my family attended Pro-Life marches in DC with other members.

It’s called the 4B movement. It started in South Korea in 2016 in response to a horrific crime: the brutal murder of a woman in a subway station by a man who reportedly said he was “tired of being ignored by women.” (Women are shown reacting to Kamala Harris’ concession speech).

But when I moved to New York City at age 21, my world opened wide. I started having conversations that I would never have had at home. They have made me the woman I am today, who takes risks, empathizes with different life experiences and stands up for the underdog. They changed me.

At the same time, America was changing. In June 2022, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, and the message was clear: women’s rights in this country were not only challenged, but dismantled. I was afraid for myself, but more than that, I was furious for women.

From childhood I was warned that men were my responsibility. I was told to pay attention to what I wore and how I walked. I carried my keys between my fingers at night, stopped wearing both AirPods at the same time, shared my location with friends when I went on dates, and never went running after sunset.

I discovered that my life depended on vigilance, because it did. And it wasn’t just about strangers. I knew so many women who had been hurt by the men they loved and trusted. Men they promised to love and who promised to love them. Men they slept next to at night.

The overturning of Roe confirmed everything I already knew. Five judges – four of them men – decided that we did not deserve control over our own bodies. The new MAGA Republican Party, with its hyper-masculine, power-hungry grip, welcomed it.

That’s when I started delving deeper into the 4B movement.

For me, it was crucial that I maintain my sense of autonomy in a country that wanted to take it away from me. But when I let go of the idea of ​​dating men, I began to see how much of my identity was rooted in the male gaze. I wanted to learn who I was when I wasn’t dressing, performing and, essentially, living for male acceptance and approval.

Letting go of the “cool girl” narrative felt like freedom.

When I first shared my 4B story on TikTok after last week’s election, the response was overwhelming.

Hundreds of women shared horror stories in my comments section about how their husbands changed after they had children and started seeing them as “the help.”

Now, after the election, they are sharing their outrage that their pro-Trump husbands voted against their daughters’ rights. Some have even left their marriages.

And yet others are joining the 4B movement themselves. For many of them, Trump’s re-election was the last straw.

And yet others are joining the 4B movement themselves. For many of them, Trump’s re-election was the final straw.

From childhood I was warned that men were my responsibility. I was told to pay attention to what I wore and how I walked.

But when I moved to New York City at age 21, my world opened wide. I started having conversations that I would never have had at home.

The male reaction was unfortunately exactly as I expected.

Men flood my inbox with abuse, calling me fat and ugly, saying that men don’t want me anyway because “you’re washed up at 36”, or that I’m a single cat lady (as if that’s a groundbreaking insult). They leaked my personal information, sent me threats and claimed they will hurt me.

To them I say: Do you think you are proving a point? Because you’re only proving mine.

Two years later, my life is full of joy – more than I could ever have expected.

My friendships are deeper than ever before, and my friends are truly the loves of my life. I spend more time with my family, which I love. I built four companies that empower and uplift women. I’ve traveled the world solo and felt more alive than ever on a terrible date or in an unfulfilling relationship.

Even though I don’t agree with every aspect of the 4B movement, I still support the 4B lifestyle. Trump’s re-election has only strengthened that choice.

I still want a family; I am planning to become pregnant with the help of a sperm donor. But with the possibility of a national abortion ban, I’m second-guessing my decision. If it is not safe to become pregnant in this country, where the maternal mortality rate is so high, choosing to become a single mother could also mean losing my life.

To all women considering a life without men, I strongly encourage you to consider the 4B movement.

It has brought me nothing but confidence, purpose and joy. Love is found in many different and many beautiful ways.