I was 14 when a boy handed me a note in maths class with a question about my vulva that haunted me for years. Now I’m on a mission to make sure no other girls go through the same ordeal

I was fourteen when my journey with vulva anxiety began.

In math class, a boy handed me a note with a question that would haunt me for years: “Do you have an innie or an outie?”

And no, he wasn’t talking about belly buttons.

At that age, I had never seen another vulva, so I had no idea where I was on the vulva spectrum.

During high school, the words boys used to describe vulvas—”kebab,” “inverted volcano,” “octopussy”—further fueled my self-doubt.

I started wondering: was my vulva weird? Was I abnormal?

By the time I was in my early 20s, this fear had become so intense that I considered labiaplasty, which involves removing or altering tissue from the labia, the folds of skin that line either side of a woman’s vaginal opening.

I hoped that surgery could “fix” what I thought was wrong.

Ellie’s book Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva has been released

I hoped that surgery could “fix” what I thought was wrong.

I even went so far as to book two consultations, and both surgeons were more than willing to go ahead with the surgery without even looking at my vulva.

Ultimately, a consultation in India, where I worked at the time, saved me from a labiaplasty.

When I showed this doctor my vulva, he told me that what I wanted to surgically change was completely “normal.”

He explained to me that vulvas are all unique and that it is normal not to have the ‘Barbie vagina’ depicted in porn, movies and magazines.

He could have easily agreed to give me the Rolls-Royce of vulvas, but instead he sent me off with the homework of researching what real, unedited vulvas look like.

I thought to myself, “If only there was a book on vulvas I could buy to help me.”

Inspired by this experience, I announced on Facebook in 2018 that I would be creating a coffee table book dedicated to photos of vulvas to help educate the world about their beautiful diversity.

I started photographing women’s vulvas and now, seven years later, my book Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva is finally here.

It features more than 500 vulvas alongside personal stories on crucial women’s health topics, from miscarriage to herpes, and body image.

While this journey was inspired by my experience with vulva anxiety, it is no longer just a personal issue; it has become a public health crisis.

Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva features more than 500 vulvas alongside personal stories from vulva owners on crucial topics for women’s health, from miscarriage to herpes to body image

According to a survey by Women’s Health Victoria, one in six Australian women are concerned or embarrassed about the appearance of their labia.

Unfortunately, this problem is even more pronounced among Generation Z: one in four young people between the ages of 18 and 24 deal with vulva anxiety, and almost a third associate their labia with negative words like “weird,” “disgusting,” or ” ugly’.

One in ten Australians – equivalent to more than half a million women – say they have had or are considering a labiaplasty, which is now the fastest growing surgery in Australia.

This fear is not just an emotional burden; it can affect physical, mental and sexual health.

One in eight women even admit to avoiding essential health appointments, such as GP check-ups or smear tests, because of embarrassment about their labia.

This highlights the need for more education and acceptance, which is why Flip Through My Flaps: An Exploration of the Vulva is needed now more than ever.

I hope the book promotes a new narrative around vulva diversity, one rooted in acceptance and self-love rather than shame and secrecy.

With every photo and story, I want to challenge the narrow ideals that have led so many of us to question our bodies, and show others what I discovered: that there is no ‘perfect’ vulva, only the one that belongs to you .

By confronting this cultural silence and creating this resource, I hope we can cultivate a world where vulva anxiety is replaced with acceptance, self-love, and the freedom to celebrate our bodies as they are.