Millie Mackintosh reveals she suffered regular panic attacks and ‘cried every day’ as she struggled being a working mum: ‘It was a breakdown moment’
Millie Mackintosh has revealed she suffered regular panic attacks and her ‘nervous system was in crisis’ as she struggled to balance her life as a working mother.
The former Made in Chelsea star, 35, spoke about her mental health struggles and finding it difficult to cope in a candid new interview.
She talked about how she felt like she was having a “bit of a breakdown” and had to take some time off at the beginning of 2024 due to burnout.
Millie shares two daughters Sienna, four, and Aurelia, two, with her husband Hugo Taylor, who she first met on the reality TV show.
She told me The sun: ‘It felt like a moment of breakdown where I just couldn’t cope.
Millie Mackintosh has revealed she suffered regular panic attacks and her ‘nervous system was in crisis’ as she struggled to balance her life as a working mother
The former Made in Chelsea star, 35, spoke about her mental health struggles and finding it difficult to cope in a candid new interview
‘I was really tired. I took on a lot. I was under a lot of stress, I wasn’t managing the stress very well and my body was giving me signals like, ‘Hey, you need to slow down.’
‘I had quite a few panic attacks and my nervous system was basically in crisis. I had to take some time off.”
She added that she now tries to make fewer plans and is no longer bothered as much if her “agenda is not full every day.”
Millie also stopped drinking after realizing alcohol was making her anxiety much worse.
It comes after Millie made the decision to take medication to combat her anxiety earlier this summer after it left her in ‘constant anxiety’ and caused panic attacks ‘every few days’.
The reality star first opened up about her struggles with anxiety in 2018, and her symptoms peaked when she was pregnant with her first child, daughter Sienna.
She revealed in July that she had been back on medication for six months and her husband Hugo, 38, even commented that he feels like he has the old Millie back.
Despite suffering from severe anxiety and depression for years, Millie took medication for the first time in 2022 and stopped taking it six months later.
She shared how she felt like she was having a ‘little bit of a breakdown’ and had to take some time off in early 2024 due to burnout
Millie shares two daughters Sienna, four, and Aurelia, two, with her husband Hugo Taylor, who she first met on the reality TV show
Millie, who also shares second daughter Aurelia with Hugo, wrote on Instagram: ‘I’ve been thinking about this for a while but wanted to wait until I felt ready to talk about it.
‘The beginning of a new year, we are told, should be greeted with enthusiasm and excitement about what the next twelve months will bring.
‘For me, 2024 started with unprecedented anxiety, panic attacks every few days, living in constant fear, not being able to stop the daily tears and feeling unsafe in my own body.
‘Being constantly alert not only affected my sleep, from wanting to sleep all day (knowing I couldn’t) to being overtired at night and suffering from insomnia, but meal times became an unwanted trigger that compromised my ability to sleep affected. I ate and lost weight drastically in a very short period of time, all of which led to burnout physically, mentally and emotionally.
“My usual tools just weren’t working and even though I knew that returning to therapy with my psychiatrist could potentially lead me down a path I had tried to avoid for the past two years, I knew I needed help and that I needed to putting my trust in a professional who would have a clearer idea of how to get me back on track.
‘As I suspected and, quite frankly, feared, the suggestion of medication, along with regular ongoing therapy using a combined CBT and EMDR approach, were the first protocols put in place. The second was to immediately cut back and take time off so I could reset and rebuild a solid foundation for when I started to feel comfortable with life and work again.
‘Although I knew this was the right decision, returning to medication caused even more anxiety as my experience previously had not been great, so I had written off this option years ago and even talked about it on my podcast.
‘I had this story in my head that all medications would make me feel the same. Of course, that’s not actually true. If you get the right support and guidance, which is essential, especially when adapting and dealing with side effects, the outcome can be positive.”
She finished, “The caption continued on the carousel.”
The carousel started with a photo of a smiling Millie, before the caption continued: ‘After consistent therapy, I now understand that I had been pretending to be fine for a long time.
‘Not only for the outside world, but also for myself: denial is a wonderful thing, until you can no longer pretend!
‘I had been living with high-functioning depression and anxiety for years. Two years ago, cutting alcohol out of my life was the first step in really looking at myself and nurturing the parts that needed healing.
‘I realized that part of my resistance to taking medication was shame and what people would think, because I had previously said it wasn’t working for me and prioritizing wellness practices made me feel much better, which I did for a while.
Although the stigma surrounding mental health and medication has come a long way in recent years, there is still an edge to it.
“I like to say that I’m taking medication, but it’s always quickly followed by ‘but it’s only a low dose and I don’t plan on taking it for long,’ because that somehow makes me less a target makes comments to people.
‘All I know is that I am six months into my journey and slowly but surely starting to see myself in the mirror again and feeling more like myself than I have in years, even Hugo feels like he is the old me has a back.
‘Everyone’s journey is different and medication is not for everyone. I would like to be drug-free in the future, but I don’t set a hard limit on that.
‘Right now I’m focusing on therapy, really getting to know myself and understanding what’s causing the anxiety, panic attacks and depression.
She told The Sun about her struggles: “It felt like a moment of breakdown that I just couldn’t cope with.”
It comes after Millie made the decision to take medication to combat her anxiety earlier this summer after it left her in ‘constant anxiety’ and caused panic attacks ‘every few days’.
‘At least now I can compensate for that with being able to feel joy, the ability to actually laugh and mean it, and the energy to do the things I know are essential for my body and mind (biohacking, breathwork, supplements, exercise, meditation).
‘Medication is just part of my self-care routine that makes me feel – really good! Your journey is unique and it’s okay to get help in whatever form works best for you. Know that you are not alone. There is power in seeking help.
Millie ended her post with the powerful words: ‘If you’re struggling, @Mind Charity has great resources. Please don’t close yourself off. There are people who care, will listen and help!
If you are struggling with your mental health, visit www.mind.org.uk