England must be English down to the kit man, writes JEFF POWELL – we don’t need Thomas Tuchel, we need a patriot who will put this country first, second and third
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- The manager must be someone born and bred in the football culture of this country, someone steeped in the best and worst of our national characteristics.
When Sven-Goran Eriksson was appointed England manager I wrote words to the effect that the birthright of the country that gave football to the world was being sold to someone from a nation of cross-country skiers who spend half their lives in darkness.
It took a while for that sentiment to prove correct, and during his era of World Cup failure, the Swedish Lothario endeared himself enough to our good-hearted people to be given a sentimental farewell when he passed away under sad circumstances this year.
May he rest in peace and may his family live happily ever after thanks to the generational wealth bestowed upon him by the FA.
Undeterred, they did it all again with Fabio Capello who, grazie mille, enjoys la dolce vita at our expense, despite being an even more disappointing mercenary than Sven.
Can you believe it, here we go again.
Thomas Tuchel is the latest name linked to the vacant permanent position as England manager
But while England have had foreign managers before, it could be argued that they have produced little success (Sven-Goran Eriksson pictured in 2001)
Fabio Capello (pictured in 2011) was perhaps even less inspiring than Eriksson at the helm
Willkommen Herr Tuchel. The former head coach of the mighty Bayern Munich who was sacked after a season in which he failed to win the Bundesliga.
What exactly was going on in Bavaria has never been fully explained. Was there a scandal or personality conflict behind the scenes? Or did his masters think they would have to win the German championship even if a dachshund was the manager – and that in the long run they were barking up the wrong tree with Thomas Tuchel?
If the sauerkraut goes the way of the smorgasbord and the pasta – which seems likely given that Tuchel is a one-year impact manager and the next World Cup isn’t around until 2026 – will the euro finally fall? That Gareth Southgate, whether or not he was glass half full or glass half empty, England manager should be… English. Someone born and bred in the football culture of this country, someone immersed in the best and worst of our national characteristics, someone who knows what makes us tick and what buttons need to be pushed to get the most out of our footballers.
Oh, and by the way, a patriot for whom it’s always England first, second and third. Not someone, like the current incumbent caretaker, who is so confused by his Irish antecedents that he can’t bring himself to sing God Save The King before kick-off.
I hear the merchants shouting ‘Little Englander’. No, that’s how it should be for every country in the world, that’s why we call them national teams.
Not just the manager and the players, but everyone involved, down to the kitman, must be English. This is how it should be in every football country, big or small.
Eriksson endeared himself to many during his role, but the right choice for England is someone immersed in the country’s football culture.
Of the candidates looking to take over Gareth Southgate’s role, Amersham-born Eddie Howe (pictured) is the strongest choice
How can a foreigner push Englishmen to do or die on the battlefield of football? Could a Swede, an Italian or a German have roused the troops as King Henry V did, when he implored his men: ‘On, on to the breach, dear friends, or let us close the wall with our English dead.’ Sometimes, when all else fails, only passion can save the day.
A bit overly dramatic? Maybe. But perhaps only a graphic illustration can bring English football to life. And if we are doomed to keep losing World Cups as we have done since 1966, we better do it together.
It’s not that there isn’t one of us doing the work. Eddie Howe, to name just one, has been hamstrung by the Newcastle hierarchy of late, but before the interference began he looked every bit an England manager in the making. That Three Lion Heart still beats.
Tuchel had an easy time in Germany with Bayern, and in France with Paris Saint-Germain. Ominously, his English isn’t very good.