Panthers coach Ivan Cleary reveals his harrowing mental health battles and why he hasn’t spoken to Phil Gould since 2019

Champion Penrith coach Ivan Cleary has discussed some deeply personal topics, including a battle with depression that left him struggling to even get out of bed.

The four-time premiership-winning coach is on top of the world after Penrith’s historic victory against the Storm in the NRL decider last Sunday, but few know how much the reserved 53-year-old has struggled in his private life.

When Cleary returned to Penrith in 2019 after a difficult spell with the Tigers, he found his mental health deteriorating.

“I remember a few times before in my career I didn’t want to get out of bed, so it started to dawn on me what I was experiencing,” Cleary said. News Corp.

‘I increasingly realized that I actually needed help.

‘Eventually I looked back (on my life) and realized that I had felt signs of depression (before). I was having a really hard time.

‘One of my brothers helped me. He had been going through a lot in his own personal life and obviously my wife talked to me about it all the time.”

Cleary, who eventually took antidepressants, wants more men to talk about their problems in an effort to save lives.

Cleary (pictured in 2018 with the Tigers) wants men to talk about depression

“The problem with men is that we just don’t talk about depression,” Cleary said.

‘If you do that, you feel like a failure.

“And you know, there’s something where you have to be strong enough to be able to carry the can and get through it.

“I’m going to talk about men in this case, where they have the responsibility of being the breadwinner for their family or just have other issues in their lives.

“But that doesn’t mean you’re not resilient and/or tough just because you have to talk about it.

‘And often just talking about it helps, you realize that other people are going through it and that can sometimes give you the kick to keep going.’

Cleary also recently weighed in on his split from NRL icon Phil Gould.

In his new book ‘Not everything counts, but everything matters’Cleary explains how he felt Gould was undermining him with comments on TV.

Cleary (pictured after winning the NRL decider) revealed he hasn’t spoken to Phil Gould since 2019

Cleary (pictured with wife Rebecca) is a four-time premiership-winning coach

Gould, who had previously sacked him in 2015, said he wanted Wayne Bennett at Penrith and was unable to get Cleary to return to the club.

Cleary confronted Gould about the issue with a phone call and the two have not spoken since.

“He did so much good for me, but he also hurt me,” Cleary wrote.

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