SAUCY SECRETS: My boyfriend had an affair with a friend of mine. Now I want to tell the world his dark secret as revenge. Should I do it?

Dear Jana,

I broke up with my boyfriend when I found out he was having an affair with a friend of a friend. They are now together and flaunting it on social media. I have heard through the grapevine that he is involved in some light drug dealing and I am tempted to rat him out.

I try to justify it to myself by believing that it is good for the community, but deep down I know it is just a petty act of revenge because he broke my heart and made a fool of me. But why should he continue to live a wonderful life while I still struggle with the sadness of it all?

Small but nice.

Dear Petty but beautiful,

Rise up, beautiful scorned. You are not a crime-fighting superwoman, you are just an angry ex seeking revenge. Which is cute in our crime series, but not in real life. And it is not wise to use your energy.

Instead of breaking your own heart every time you log on to socials and see their cringe couple pics, just block and delete them. Be a ruthless queen.

And instead of accusing him of drug dealing, why not focus on spicing yourself up? Channel that pent-up anger at the gym. Make yourself hotter than the new slut with a little Botox and a good facial. The past is gone, snore. Focus on the future you that’s happy, successful, and over that loser.

And if the urge to get back at him still comes, think of all the times he didn’t give you an orgasm, or his stinky farts, or that tragic grooming situation in his jocks. Everyone has an ick – focus on his!

Dear Jana,

I think my wife is making me fat on purpose. I recently turned 50 and have watched friends struggle with heart disease and other ailments as they got older. So I decided to get my life in order. I started going to the gym, walking the dog more, getting out of the office more, and getting some sun. It has done wonders for my health and overall outlook on life, but my wife keeps trying to feed me the big, fatty meals I used to love, even though she knows I have a strict eating plan. Do you think she is sabotaging my efforts? How do I tell her to stop?

Anonymously

Dear Anonymous,

As someone who loves a “Dad Bod,” I’ll be honest: I have some sympathy for your wife in this situation.

Sure, your wife cooking might feel like an act of sabotage, but it’s more likely that she’s clinging to the past — the comfort of shared meals, the nostalgia of that big, indulgent treat. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.

Have you ever considered that food might be her love language? It has a way of anchoring us to memories and relationships, and it sounds like she’s struggling with the idea of ​​change.

I would start by talking to her. Be honest, but be gentle with it. Explain to her that you are trying to take care of your health so that you can spend more time with her on this earth (romantic, right!) and that you need to stay the course.

And you know what else you could do, maybe suggest cooking together. Find some new recipes that are healthy but tasty (apparently they do exist). This could be a way to bond and take some of the heavy lifting off her hands.

And damn it, send her meals to me if you don’t want them. I’d love it if a woman cooked for me!

“Life is too short for regrets, but too long to deal with unnecessary drama. Keep it fun, but keep it smart,” says Jana

Dear Jana,

My best friend and I sleep together all the time. Our husbands don’t know it, but we love to go on the occasional “girls trip” and spend most of it in bed, and occasionally when they come over for dinner we find a reason to sneak into another room and make out. It all started about a year ago after a few too many drinks. I confessed that sleeping with a woman was on my bucket list, and she admitted that she was curious too. One thing led to another, and now I can’t help but get addicted to our little escapades. It’s like we’ve created this naughty world just for ourselves!

The problem is that I don’t really feel guilty about it, which worries me. Do you think this could develop into something deeper between us? And if so, how do I deal with those feelings without ruining everything with our spouses? I’d love to hear your thoughts on how to get through this complicated situation!

Anonymously

Dear Anonymous,

Oh lord, you’re playing with fire! Hooray for experimenting and knowing you won’t go to your grave regretting lost sexual experiences. But boo for having to hide it!

Isn’t it something you could share with your husband? I know an old French couple who had a glorious time in the 70s when they both confessed their bisexual tendencies to each other. They let each other explore those tendencies and it made for a very happy marriage. Oh, the French. They’re so much more fun.

Regarding your concerns about not feeling guilty, I want to share something a friend once told me. She was telling her therapist about her lack of guilt toward the wife of the man she was secretly dating. The therapist pointed out that this lack of guilt often stems from not fully understanding the potential consequences of one’s actions.

You actually think you’re not doing anything wrong because you believe you won’t get caught. Spoiler alert: despite your best efforts, there’s a good chance you will. In your case, it could be a failed marriage. Sure, it’s fun to sneak in a cheeky touch when your partners are in the other room, but it’s risky!

I know someone who got caught when her partner was checking the security cameras. One casual kiss could land you in divorce court!

Whatever you decide, remember: life is too short for regrets, but also too long to deal with unnecessary drama. Keep it fun, but keep it smart.