SAUCY SECRETS: I’m a divorced mum seeing a 27-year-old bloke and it’s the best ever… except for one thing

Dear Jana,

I am a 46 year old divorced mother who just started dating again after almost three years. I tried dating men in their mid forties and fifties but it never clicked. So I took a chance and started dating men in their late twenties and early thirties. I ended up in an unexpected relationship with a 27 year old and it is one of the best and healthiest relationships I have ever had.

But at a recent dinner party, one of my best friends jokingly referred to me as a “cougar,” and the joke quickly caught on with the group. While I’m normally pretty laid-back and happy to admit that I enjoy the attention of younger men on dating apps, being labeled a “cougar” feels a little insulting. It seems to imply that my interest in younger men is something laughable or predatory. It’s made me wonder if there’s something wrong with my dating choices in midlife, or if I’m just being overly sensitive.

Am I making too much of a deal about this, or are my friends indifferent?

Anonymously

Oh girl.

27 is not predatory! That man has been able to legally drink, vote, and lie naked on nude beaches for nine years!

So I want to give you a shout out for jumping back into the dating pool with such enthusiasm. Dating younger men is a real trend right now. Just ask Cher, Priyanka Chopra, and Cameron Diaz.

And believe me, I’ve met enough Peter Pans (men who refuse to grow up) in their 40s and 50s to know that age is just a number.

Now, about the “cougar” thing. Look, I get it. When I hear that word, the first thing I think of is Stifler’s mom, and that sounds kind of gross. So yeah, it can sting a little when it feels like people are reducing you to a joke. But here’s the thing: Your dating life is your own, and if you’re happy and it’s working, that’s what really matters.

Have three glasses of wine and tell those women to fuck off.

Okay, not really. But think about it this way – if they’re joking about it, it’s probably because they find it fascinating or intriguing. And if you’re in a great relationship with this younger guy, then your friends’ comments are just background noise to your fantastic new love life (and I’m assuming sex life).

You’re not being overly sensitive; you’re just attuned to how words can sometimes cut deeper than intended. So, I say, enjoy your brand new relationship and let the naysayers deal with their own receding hairline, bad back partners. You can do this.

Dear Jana,

I keep catching my very suspicious girlfriend snooping through my phone. I swear I’m not cheating, but my Google search history is embarrassing. We talk about things like “How to fake a sick day without getting caught,” “Normal dick size,” “Hangover cures,” and “Why does my dog ​​hate me?” I need to figure out how to get her off my phone. Any tips?

Cheers,

Anonymously

Dear anonymous,

I actually have a really handy solution for you! And I learned it from a podcast hosted by Sylvester Stallone’s daughters called ‘unwaxed’ which I know is so random!

This hack is bad news for people who are paranoid about relationships! (**hangs his own head in shame!). But Sophia Stallone broke the internet when she revealed that there is a new iPhone update that lets you lock and hide an app.

So when you lock an app, it means you now have a second layer of passwords (so a second password or a face ID) to open the app. You go with the face ID, my friend!

And if you lock an app, you won’t get any notifications. Handy, right?

The new update also ensures that apps you’ve locked won’t have any evidence of search history, call history, or recent map searches. Handy for your “normal d*ck size” debacle.

PLUS, if you hide an app (like the Google app for example) no one except the phone owner will know where to find it!

Good news for cheaters and anyone who is tired of their partner spying on you!

So update your phone. If you happen to have an Android phone, then that’s your fault, and also, how the hell did you get a girlfriend? Green text messages from Android users are such a yuck!

Dear Jana,

Every time my ex is drunk he calls or texts me, tells me how much he misses me and asks if he can come over. I am a deep sleeper and usually I don’t see these messages until the morning, but I have given in to temptation on occasion and the next morning he always apologizes and tells me we should try to make the breakup work.

For reference, he dumped me a few months ago and said he wasn’t ready to settle down and I was devastated. I don’t know if I should try to move on or let him have his fun and realize the grass isn’t greener. I mean if it was he wouldn’t contact me right? Should I set a healthier boundary and tell him not to contact me after a few drinks? Every time I see his name pop up it gives me hope.

I find it all so confusing.

Sasha

Okay Sasha, I’m going to be honest with you. First of all, your ex is a horny loser. He dumped you because you weren’t ready to settle down, and now he’s begging you back when he’s drunk? That’s not love, that’s desperation-with-a-boner.

Secondly, you are not doing yourself any favors by letting him back into your life. Every time you give in to temptation, you are only giving him more power over you. You need to set a boundary and tell him not to approach you when he is drunk. He wants easy attention and you are giving it to him. By simply ignoring him, you are turning that man into a caveman and letting him hunt you down. Men actually enjoy the hunt. Strange creatures.

Third, you need to move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.

So this is what I propose:

• Block his number

• Delete all his texts and emails

• Stop following him on social media

• Go out with your friends

• Date someone new

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are, not someone who just wants to use you when they’re lonely. I heard a quote last week that said, “Every time you say no to someone who won’t commit, you’re setting your future self up for success” and that’s not true!