Like many parents, David has a photo of his baby boy tucked away in his wallet. But this one has been there for 40 years – and is a reminder of the worst day of his life

For more than 40 years, Scott Logan’s father, David, has carried the same photo of a little boy in his wallet.

The old photo, showing the newborn lying in his crib, was of Scott’s younger brother Mark, who died suddenly at the age of just three months.

“The only photo my dad ever had in his wallet was a photo of Mark, his son, who he lost… 43 years ago,” Scott, from Victoria, told Daily Mail Australia.

“He still carries his photo around with him… I assume that’s because he still doesn’t know why he lost it.”

The photo shows little Mark smiling at the camera, wearing a white long-sleeved shirt that reads, “I love my dad.”

David always kept a photo of Mark on his nightstand and in his wallet so he could think of his son wherever he went.

Scott vaguely remembers playing with his little brother Mark.

“I only have one real memory of him: him sitting in his swing, I turned the swing on and he was being rocked back and forth,” he said.

“I was a proud brother and took neighborhood kids to see him.”

Suddenly Mark was no longer in his life.

Scott was only three when his brother died of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), the unexpected death of a baby under the age of one.

“I slept with the light on for six months because I didn’t know where my brother Mark had gone,” he said.

After Mark’s death, little Scott refused to turn off the light at night before going to bed, his father David recalled.

“I was a very obedient child, but my father said I wouldn’t give in to that,” Scott explains.

“I guess I was afraid that if Mark was gone, I would be taken too.”

Scott, now 46 and a sports scientist, explained how hard the loss of his brother was for him when he had his first child.

“When you’re a new parent, it’s the best day of your life, it’s just a different kind of love. Although it was exciting, it was also worrying – every time I woke up, I would put my hand on my son’s chest to check if he was still breathing,” he explained.

“It really affected my life when I became a father. It was a bit scary every night, having to check on me all the time. I felt anxious when I put my son to bed or when I went to check on him until he was at least a year old.”

He knows from personal experience how devastating SIDS can be.

“It’s especially hard not having an answer as to what caused (Mark’s death),” Scott said.

“It’s very disturbing when you’re raising children yourself and you wonder if they’re going to be okay.”

The devoted father now has three “beautiful” boys: Lauchlan, 16, Jacob, 14, and eight-year-old Harry.

In honour of his late brother, Scott will join the Ride for Red Nose team on Saturday 31 August to cycle 110km around Victoria’s Bellarine Peninsula.

“I was browsing through social media and came across a post from Peter Herrick, the founder of the ride. Peter is a good friend of the family, so I immediately called him to talk about it and asked how I could get involved in honoring Mark,” he said.

Death has become a taboo subject, but Scott hopes that by sharing his story he can encourage more Australians to talk openly about grief and loss.

“It’s okay to talk about loss, it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to ask questions,” he said.

“It’s not just the mothers and fathers who are grieving. It’s other family members too. It’s also okay to accept that we may not get answers.”

Scott is one of 24 cyclists embarking on the 110km ride to honour the lives lost and raise money and awareness for Red Nose Day.

The Ride for Red Nose helps save little lives. To make a donation, click here.