I was smartly dressed, had styled my hair and was highly qualified… but I was rejected at a job interview because I wasn’t wearing make-up

I was laid off from my previous job in December. When I started looking for a new job at age 30, I wanted to make sure it was a job where I felt like I could contribute a lot. I found a job posting on LinkedIn for a vice president of human resources position, which I find ironic given what happened next.

I looked at the job description and knew it was in line with what I had done before. I did some research on the company and their core values, which I – and this is ironic – liked. When I applied, the recruiter contacted me and said that my background also matched what they wanted.

The interview was via video. I was wearing a black jacket and a collared shirt, both of which were ironed. I was wearing small gold earrings. I had my hair blow-dried and had beige nails. Everything, in other words, was in line with proper professional attire.

But I wasn’t wearing any makeup.

I didn’t think it was that big of a problem, but apparently it was for her.

I thought the interview went really well. I had good answers to questions. With a background in recruitment, I know how to have conversations with people. It was supposed to be 30 minutes, but it lasted almost 40. I was very optimistic when the interview ended, but a few days after the interview I got an email from the recruiter saying that I matched their experience and my values, but that they would not be pursuing my application.

Why not? I decided to ask for feedback.

She wrote back that she was concerned because I wasn’t putting enough effort into my appearance.

I was shocked. Firstly, that someone would write that in an email. But more so, that this is still happening in 2024. I was so excited about the company and knew I was right for the role. I can only assume that she mentioned the makeup as a concern because there was nothing else to rule me out. Did that mean that my lack of makeup made me somehow less qualified or excited about the job? That was just mind-boggling to me.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup for a couple of reasons. First of all, makeup is expensive. There’s a reason cosmetics is a billion-dollar industry. It’s also just not something I enjoy doing. I have a lot of friends who will happily spend 45 minutes to an hour on their makeup. It’s their zen time, and it’s good for them, but I’d rather invest in my skincare. My dermatologist and I are on a first-name basis.

In the comments on a TikTok I made about the experience, people said things like, “I’ve been told I wore too much makeup to my job interview.” Or, “I can’t wear red lipstick because it’s too much power.” One woman said she got more assignments at work when she started wearing makeup. For someone else, it was losing weight. It’s very disheartening to read that — in 2024 — our appearance is somehow tied to our ability to do our jobs.

Many people use makeup to enhance their features, but the idea that it is a requirement is pretty crazy.

I was dressed nicely for the interview. Dressing nicely shows that you are enthusiastic about the job and that you are taking it seriously. That goes for both men and women. In recruitment, I have never judged someone on their make-up or whether a man had long hair, as long as it was well-groomed. I have seen people come to a video interview in their pyjamas. I thought, ‘I don’t know for a senior-level position.’

The fact is that makeup is only for women. Men are not expected to wear foundation or know how to contour or anything like that.

It would have been even more shocking if the comment had come from a man, because I have worked in recruitment and I have never had a male colleague comment on a woman’s make-up. Maybe for women it is a case of the fact that they wear it themselves, so they expect it from another woman.

I don’t think this experience will necessarily change my approach to a job search, because I want to be part of a company that has a supportive culture and doesn’t have expectations that women have to wear makeup. Making sure that companies have an inclusive culture is incredibly important to me.

I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to judge an entire company based on one person, even though recruiters are typically the face of the company — or the first face you see. So that’s something to consider. I don’t think I can learn everything I want to know about a company’s culture based on the first person I meet, or even the first few people. That’s why I value a hiring process that involves multiple interviews with different people. As exhausting as some people might find that, I value it because you get a feel for a lot of different people in the company.

Many people agreed with Melissa’s opinion after she posted about her experience on TikTok

Others had similar responses, including one suggesting the interviewee lose weight

One thing I’ve always loved about being in HR is that it’s a people-focused role. So I want to find an employer that has an inclusive culture and where I can contribute to that. This is about women supporting women and men supporting women. It’s given me an extra boost in terms of knowing what I’m passionate about, what I want to make sure I can help the business with.

I didn’t write back to the recruiter because I didn’t think it would make a difference. Several people encouraged me to forward her email to the company’s HR manager. I don’t know if I’ll do that. You also fear being blacklisted.

HR can be a demanding job, but ultimately I love it. I love working with people. And so I know this is the path I want to stay on.

I didn’t create TikTok to bash the company or anything. I never wanted to turn it into a crusade. I just wanted to hear people’s opinions, and if it sparks a conversation, then I’m happy with that. A lot of the feedback I’ve received has been supportive and has pointed out double standards. The fact that there have been so many encouraging responses has made me feel positive and reassured that just because one recruiter feels that way, it’s not the majority opinion.

Originally published in Business Insider.