I still wear a mask and it helps me feel safe. But selfish other people refuse to do the same… despite my efforts. Am I in the wrong? BEL MOONEY imagines

Our brilliant advice columnist Bel Mooney has answered thousands of letters from readers over the years. But what if the rich and famous turned to her for unparalleled advice on their own problems?

Each week, we invite Bel to look behind the headlines and ponder an imaginary celebrity dilemma we’ve created for her (with a wink). Bel will take the letter at face value, just as she does with all those who write her famous column each week.

She’s going to give an honest answer—so celebrities and politicians, listen up! This week, we imagine what Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s daughter, Violet, would write in a letter to Bel.

Dear Bel,

Let me get straight to the point. Four years after the vaccination rollout, and one year after the World Health Organization the Covid pandemic is declared over, I still wear a mask. And I want others to do the same. In fact, I think they shouldFrankly, I think it is antisocial and selfish to refuse to wear a mask.

I know people like me often get looks of pity and some even call us deluded. Many people have questioned the efficacy of face masks and the argument has almost become part of the culture wars.

But as someone who developed a post-viral illness in 2019, I’d rather err on the side of caution. I’ve seen firsthand that medications don’t always have the answers to the effects of even minor viruses.

A face mask helps me feel safe. People who disagree with me (helpfully) remind me that the pandemic is over now. But they are foolish not to realize that the chance of getting Covid and other viruses is still there.

That’s why I can’t understand why others refuse to wear face masks, especially in medical settings – where I think they should show the courtesy to keep people like me safe. Is it really that much of a burden?

PURPLE

Bel Mooney responds: Since you’re only 18, I feel like I should be tolerant and gentle – and yet I find that quite difficult.

It’s not just that I disagree with your obsession with face masks, nor with the fact that many experts have told us that face masks were pretty much useless in containing the spread of Covid. All the facts and figures on this are online, so I’m not going to quote them here.

Your obsession worries me because it seems unnatural for a young woman your age to want to cover her face all the time. What are you trying to hide?

But my real problem with you is authoritarianism. Yours, I mean. I wonder why you think you have the right to tell other people – and in no uncertain terms – what they should and should not do. An 18-year-old is an adult and should learn to listen to other people and express her own opinion. But I’m afraid you come across as a privileged, sheltered, and privileged Hollywood princess.

You want to impose “mask mandates” in medical facilities and call for an end to all “mask bans” — in an impassioned plea to the Los Angeles County governing body. You say, “I demand the availability of masks, air filtration, and Far-UVC light in government facilities, including jails and detention centers, and mask mandates in county medical schools.”

To be fair, many people may feel safer wearing a mask in a hospital or medical center. If I were going to wear a mask in a hospital or medical center, I would. Yet, in 2020, as a woman in my 70s with a history of asthma and bronchitis, I was adamant that I would wear a mask as little as possible. As a passionate believer in the freedom enshrined in the U.S. Constitution, I thought then — and now — that lockdown and mask-wearing were a choice.

Stay home if you want, but don’t lock me up. Wear a mask if you want, but don’t make me wear one of those horrible things!

Violet, who is often seen wearing a face mask, shared her experience of contracting “a post-viral illness” in 2019. Seen with Affleck and stepmother Jennifer Lopez in 2023

You justify your claims by saying, “I developed a post-viral illness in 2019. I am doing well now, but I have seen with my own eyes that medicine does not always have an answer to the consequences of even small viruses.”

So you got sick for Covid, doubting medicine’s ability to ‘have answers’ – yet believing masks are the answer? Not logical.

You were also photographed just last year not wearing a mask. And in these photos, when you are wearing one, the people around you are not. What is going on?

I have my own deep suspicions, which are actually sympathetic to you. Like many young people (and no, I am not patronizing) you think you have the answer to all the world’s problems. The problem is that you have seized upon masks as the answer.

You said that Covid “will exacerbate our homelessness crisis and the suffering of many people in our city. It will hit communities of color, disabled people, the elderly, transgender people, women, and anyone in public, essential work the hardest.”

So – as simplistically as any cult member or convert – you “demand” masks ON COMMAND. This makes it appear that you believe that all the problems you identify will go away and people will be safe.

It’s as unrealistic as unicorns running over the Golden Gate. There’s so much sadness and fear behind all your public statements that people might not listen to (sorry, but it’s true) if you weren’t the daughter of those parents.

No one is ever “safe” this side of the grave. Some people might (with sadness) consider that your father’s love affairs must have been painful, even embarrassing, and that a girl your age wearing a mask in public and making peremptory demands of the authorities is doing so…why? Because she is desperate for attention.