Psychologist reveals how ‘performative friendships’ are on the rise – and how to tell if you’re in one

A psychologist has revealed she’s seen an increase in ‘performative expressions of friendship’ – and how to tell if you have one.

Dr. Alison McClymont is a licensed psychologist who also creates online content on mental health topics.

She is also a writer, whose debut bookHow to Help Your Child Cope with It All will be published in August.

In a video In an article shared on TikTok by the British Psychological Society, Dr. McClymont discussed how social media can affect friendships.

The psychologist said in the clip: “Social media culture has led to an increase in what I call ‘performative expressions of friendship.

“Here people are encouraged to post images of things that they can hashtag as friendship goals, or my best friend, or things that are basically aspirational images of friendship.”

How do you know if you’re in a performative friendship? According to Dr. McClymont, seeing these kinds of images and hashtags can “really trigger jealousy” in some people. If you feel pressured to create the illusion of a solid bond, you might be in one.

She explains: ‘For example, if they see that the person they considered their special friend is out with someone else, they suddenly feel left out.

“And this could even lead to the excluded friend feeling even more pressured to protect his friendship with the other.”

This can lead to the person becoming “needier” for that friend, she explained. She added: “They may also feel pressured to create images or an aspirational online life that resembles friendship goals.”

In an attempt to create the image of this aspirational friendship, people sometimes book trips together or buy gifts for their friends.

According to Dr. McClymont, they are doing things that they can document and post on social media so that they can show others.

“This can lead to you spending too much time and even too much money,” she said.

According to the psychologist, social media culture has affected some people’s friendships, making them performance-enhancing

Viewers took to the comments section where they discussed the impact of social media culture

‘And those financial and time-consuming expenses, if we want to call them that, can have a negative impact on people’s mental health.

“I’ve seen this in my office: people feel this anxious internal monologue of ‘if I don’t do this, people won’t think I’m a good friend.’”

In the comments section, viewers shared their thoughts and experiences about how social media culture has affected their relationships. One wrote, “I think if people couldn’t take pictures/videos, there are a lot of things people wouldn’t do. Life feels so performative and contrived right now.”

Another agreed, writing: ‘This is something I’ve always been passionate about: leaving social media for what it is: a simulation of reality. People get so caught up in it that they start to believe it’s reality.’

And a third added: ‘So true. Not even the real friendships they brag about on their social media.’