Beware the lovers’ tiff… Couples’ rows reach fever pitch after nine minutes – and things can get ugly after that

If you’re eight minutes into a screaming argument with your partner, it may be advisable to call an immediate truce.

Give it another 60 seconds and things can get really ugly.

Researchers have found that marriage arguments only start to escalate after nine minutes.

So far, the spouses’ voices become increasingly shrill as the argument intensifies. Then they stay at the higher frequency.

However, the phenomenon was only observed in couples in unhappy relationships. Those with a satisfied marriage retained their natural timbre even at the height of their disagreements.

Researchers say couples can use the pitch, as opposed to volume, of a partner’s voice to know how angry they are getting.

They also found that ‘a person’s return to normal can be facilitated by their partner – they calm down more quickly if the partner remains calm’.

Professor Melanie Fischer, who led the study, said: ‘As partners become increasingly upset, they can no longer communicate well and may say things they later regret.

‘So it may be helpful for couples to notice when they or their partner are becoming increasingly upset, and when the voice pitch is rising, and take a break from the argument to calm down.’

Her team at Philipps University of Marburg in Germany listened to hours of tapes from 404 couples – almost all of them married – to reach their conclusion.

Their ages ranged from 20 to 85 years and conversations of up to 15 minutes were recorded about concerns within the relationship.

Researchers say that vocal frequency is an indication of how aroused (or “emotionally aroused” in their jargon) people become.

Researchers say couples can use the pitch, as opposed to volume, of a partner’s voice to know how angry they are getting (Stock Image)

They concluded: ‘Staff in distress may experience difficulty communicating effectively as both partners become increasingly distressed and only quite late are able to stop escalations of emotional arousal.

“Therefore, at least in the time frame examined here, they have little opportunity to address difficult issues while they are at their baseline levels of emotional arousal.”

The results have been published in the scientific journal Behavior Research And Therapy.