John Lydon, 68, admits he is ‘crippled with grief’ and ‘terrifically lonely’ one year on from wife Nora Forster’s death – and confesses he tries and fails to ‘drown himself in alcohol’

Sex Pistols icon John Lydon has shed light on the loneliness he has felt since his beloved wife Nora Forster passed away last year.

In April 2023, the 68-year-old punk rocker better known as Johnny Rotten lost Nora at the age of 80 after a two-year battle with Alzheimer’s disease.

He has since opened up about his struggles with grief and in a new interview with The Sunday Times Home, the star spoke about life in their LA home since her death.

John tragically confessed that he “bounces around” during the day, but when night falls he stops cooking because “it seems pointless and selfish”, while also admitting that he tries in vain to “drow himself in alcohol”.

He said: ‘It’s terribly lonely at night. All the memories keep coming back and they won’t leave you. Your body becomes immobile, but your brain doesn’t switch off.’

The punk legend became his wife’s full-time caregiver after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s two years before her death (the couple pictured in 1986)

John, who married Nora in 1979, became his wife’s full-time caregiver after she was diagnosed with the degenerative condition in 2021.

He tragically announced Nora’s passing last year – and has since been open and honest about his struggles with grief.

In September last year, Johnny admitted it was “almost a relief” when she passed away and was free from her struggle. Speaking on GMB, he was asked what the months after her death had been like. He replied, “It has been hard, but we persevere….”

‘She died laughing until the last day. She found it very hard to breathe, but she died happy and she knew I loved her and that’s all that matters.”

John continued, “It was almost a relief [when she died] when she was put out of her misery for five years, but I loved every minute of it.

‘I didn’t mind the wheelchairs and the diapers. I just became attached to her in a whole new way and I learned so many new things about her.

“Just sharing comedy and humor with her was great because that would give her the memory of what was going on. She was a very independent and strong woman.”

John explained that he had to learn to be patient with Nora, as this was crucial when caring for someone with dementia.

He tragically announced Nora’s death last year – and has since been open and honest about his struggles with grief (the couple pictured in 2011)

He added: ‘The first year she was ill it was a learning process, then you get used to it and then you learn to relax with it a bit. There is no point in arguing, don’t ask questions and let them enjoy what they like.

‘She didn’t like being patronised, it would drive her mad with anger. Don’t baby them [people with Dementia]and don’t ask too many questions.’

John retold how he turned to food and alcohol shortly after Nora died. He continued, “All it did was make me gain weight. I’ve never been drunk and I thought, “This is stupid,” so I stopped.

‘But the problem is that it’s not just the cognac, but also the ready-made microwave meals that come with it, and you’re destroying yourself. The only way I know how to get fit is to get back on stage.”

In 1975, Nora met John, who was 14 years her junior, in Vivienne Westwood’s famous King’s Road clothing store, Sex.

The pair were initially warned about each other by friends, but despite this, John said they had an immediate and explosive bond – one that would last a lifetime.

In September last year, Johnny admitted it was “almost a relief” when she passed away and was free from her struggle. Speaking on GMB, he was asked what the months after her death had been like. He replied: ‘It was tough, but we persevered’