As Taylor Swift reveals ‘unhinged’ break-up songs… psychologist reveals why women seem more prone to romantic obsessions than men

When mega-pop star Taylor Swift released her 11th studio album today, her “Swiftie” army quickly sifted through her lyrics and linked them to exes.

As has become the norm for a Swift album, Tortured Poets Department is packed with references to former flames, including actor Joe Alwyn, with whom the pop star dated for six years.

There are also apparently several references to Matty Healy, the frontman of the indie band The 1975, with whom Swift had a brief affair last year.

The lyrics have become the latest fodder for critics who claim the pop star has an obsessive relationship type.

But this is probably just an example of how women tend to cope with divorce, by expressing themselves in their social network, Melissa Fabello a sex and relationship coach from California, told DailyMail.com.

“Men and women process a divorce very differently,” says Fabello. She explained that men are more likely to keep their feelings to themselves because they were not raised to express emotions outwardly, she said.

This can cause men to develop less healthy coping mechanisms after a breakup, such as alcohol abuse or lots of casual sex, even if they are relatively quiet about the breakup.

Meanwhile, women tend to experience their divorce out loud, crying and “talking ad nauseum” to their friends, family, and anyone who will listen. This could make it seem like women are more obsessed with their exes, she said, when in reality they are just processing.

Swift’s fans fully supported the singer’s romantic issues.

“They can never make me hate Taylor Swift, I’m sorry.. this b***h is crazy and she KNOWS IT,” user idkcloudy shared in an X in response to the album.

User pdesis shared a similar sentiment: “UNHINGED TAYLOR SWIFT IS BACK SHES BACK YOU GUYS,” with a gif of a person jumping off a cliff.

People also joked about how Swift’s newest boyfriend, Chiefs star Travis Kelce, must react to the news. User Swainsch posted a gif of someone vibrating on

Swift has been candid that the songwriting process is cathartic for her.

During the Melbourne stop of her Eras tour, Swift shared with her audience that writing “The Tortured Poets Department” was a “lifeline” for her.

“The things I was going through, the things I was writing about… it kind of reminded me of why songwriting actually gets me through my life,” she said.

Fans say Swift wrote about Alwyn in her song “So Long, London,” when she sings that she felt like she was going to “implode” while in a relationship.

Looking back, the billionaire singer shouts that she “got rid of you (he) let me give you all that youth for free.”

Feeling so frustrated during a long-term relationship is incredibly common, Dayana Romero, a registered psychotherapist who focuses on couples and practices in Ontario, told the Daily Mail.

She noted that many of her clients feel like they wasted time with a partner who was dragging their feet.

“If you have people who have been in a relationship for a long time and it doesn’t pan out or move the way they want it to, and it ends in a breakup, then their regular is going to feel very betrayed,” she said.

In “Fortnight,” the album’s first single, fans quickly became convinced that Swift was calling out Healy.

In the song, Swift calls someone a “miracle drug” and says “I love you, it’s ruining my life.”

While it is impossible to pinpoint an exact date as the couple never publicly confirmed their relationship, it likely lasted a few months.

These types of short, intense relationships are incredibly common, Ms. Romero said. Moreover, even though this intense crush feels like love, it is unlikely that this intense crush will turn into a healthy relationship.

Sometimes these short-term relationships are the most painful, Ms. Fabello says, because you still have an idealized version of your potential partner in mind.

So when they reject you, it can make you feel like there’s something wrong with you.

‘That is painful, that is rejection and abandonment. And that hurts, no matter how long the relationship lasted,” Fabello said.

Ms Fabello said men and women experience this pain equally, but they cope with it differently. Some studies agree.

Anthropologists from Binghamton University revealed similar trends in a Study from 2011 of 1735 students. They found that men were three times more likely to develop risky sexual habits and abuse drugs and alcohol after a breakup than women.

By comparison, women were three times as likely to rely on their social network for support after a breakup. This could mean talking to their friends, family or, in Swift’s case, her fans.

The study also found that women were twice as likely as men to internalize the breakup, and reported that it affected their long-term self-esteem, making it more difficult to form new relationships in the future, the study wrote. authors. This could make them more ‘stuck’ to previous partners.

Further research on the subject in 2021 study from Lancaster University found that while men were less likely to express their heartbreak publicly, they were still hurting at the same rate as their female counterparts.

The study, which evaluated 181,000 Reddit users seeking online advice about a breakup, was “surprising,” the authors wrote.

Ms. Romero was not surprised, however, as this was in line with what she has observed in her fifteen years of practice. “At the end of the day, emotions are not separated by men or women, emotions are emotions,” she said.

Crucially, anyone of any gender can feel incredibly intense emotions after a breakup, Ms. Romero said. She said that men and women are not that different when it comes to lost love.

So maybe, said Ms. Fabello, a self-described Swiftie, people could take a page out of Swift’s book and consider releasing some of that pain in therapy. Unless, like Swift, you want to do it on stage.