BEL MOONEY IMAGINES: I’m convinced my workplace disaster was because snobby colleagues conspired against me. How can I persuade people that it’s NOT my fault?

Our brilliant advice columnist Bel Mooney has answered thousands of letters from readers over the years. But what if the rich and famous turned to her for unparalleled advice on their own problems?

Each week we invite Bel to look behind the headlines and reflect on an imaginary celebrity dilemma that we’ve put right for her (tongue firmly in cheek). In turn, Bel will accept the letter at face value, just as she does with all the letters that appear in her famous column every week.

She will give an honest answer – so celebrities and politicians, listen up! This week we imagine what former Prime Minister Liz Truss might write in a letter to Bel.

Dear Bel,

I need your advice about a work situation. In short, I believe that snobbish colleagues (many of them men) deliberately sabotaged and humiliated me. After years of making steady progress (perhaps not as quickly as I would have liked) in a competitive field, I saw my opportunity for a major promotion.

Controversially, my boss had to leave at short notice after making some mistakes, and I put myself forward to take his place. Although some people said I wasn’t up to the task, I always believed in myself and my abilities and felt this was my time.

But my plans were unconventional and not well received by the old hands who thought they knew better. I believe they hid crucial information that nearly bankrupted my workplace. The mood turned against me, I was forced to fire my closest confidante, and then my colleagues started quitting left and right. Finally, I saw the writing on the wall and stopped too, just as a cruel joke started going around: that a lettuce would have been better for my job.

But I think I found myself in a terrible situation where everyone conspired to make my job impossible. I’ve said this to anyone who will listen. How can I convince my opponents that it wasn’t all my fault?

From Liz

Bel Mooney replies: You’ve clearly been through a very difficult time and that’s why you feel so bruised. No one likes having mean things said about him or her, even though that is the most normal thing in the world in a “competitive field” like the one you work in. More importantly, no one likes to think they have. failed.

But that brings us to the crux of your problem. Nowhere in this letter is the question asked whether you could have played your hand better. Most of us will remember words we shouldn’t have said, or bad decisions that still make us cringe. But I don’t read any of that in your words. I don’t see any interesting questions here, just blame.

Many people have to work in very stressful professions and will undoubtedly have to endure times when they feel like the world is against them. Over the years (in my “work” problem letters category) I’ve had many heartfelt messages from people who were convinced that their coworkers were out to get them, or that others were being favored while their own talents were not recognised, or that they could do so. could have changed a company’s fortunes if only people had listened… and so on. So much self-pity masked as self-confidence.

That’s all in your letter. Your monotone of “I, I, I!” It must have struck a very wrong note – when the important new job as a business manager clearly required you to listen to others. To be successful as a leader in any industry, you need tact, charm, diplomacy and sheer cunning. You have to be able to read the room – and that means looking ahead and not looking over your shoulder angrily because you’re obsessed with opponents. You have to cultivate the brightest minds and listen to the most nuanced suggestions – and take all of this alongside your own beliefs, and then present the package as your own. Pragmatism? Of course – but it also creates harmony. You can run a business without it, but you won’t last long.

A single confidence like yours stops any conversation there. Why would you ever need to consult even the wisest of your colleagues when you are completely convinced that you are right? Your ambition was never rewarded as quickly as you wanted, and from the start you believed that snobbish men were (usually) determined to stop your progress – but where is the curiosity as to why? If success comes only because we don’t believe in anyone else at all, then I’m afraid the cost is too high.

Unfortunately, I think you’ve already paid for it – and it’s your secret anger at failure that keeps you from admitting any regret at all.