Simone Biles admits she thought she’d be ‘BANNED from America’ and says she ‘will never forgive herself’ after she sensationally QUIT Tokyo Olympics events amid mental health struggles: Gymnast fears same issues will hamper her shot at gold in Paris

Gymnast Simone Biles has opened up about the harrowing first thought she had after messing up her vault at the Tokyo Olympics – and admitted she was terrified she would be ‘banned from America’ over the accident.

The 27-year-old Olympic gold medalist withdrew from many events at the 2020 Games in Asia after famously tripping during her jump after suffering something called ‘the twisties’ – a mental block that causes that gymnasts feel like they are ‘lost in the fray’. sky.’

Now she has spoken out about the first thing that went through her mind after landing the vault – explaining that all she could immediately think about was what people would say about her.

During a recent appearance at Alex Cooper’s Call her daddy podcast, which aired this morning, the athlete said she was so shocked she wanted to “run away” and immediately get on a plane home.

She said she feared America would “hate” her or label her a “flop” for failing to win another gold medal — and even feared she might not be allowed home again.

‘I wanted to run, if I could have taken a plane and flown home [right then] I would have done it,” the sports star said.

‘As soon as I landed, I thought, ‘America hates me. The world is going to hate me [imagine] what they are talking about Tweet right now.” That was my first thought.

“I thought, ‘Damn, what are they going to say about me?’ Because if you go to the Olympics and you flop, everyone on the bench eats their chips [has something to say].

‘I thought I was going to be banished from America. They tell you, “Don’t come back if it ain’t gold. Gold or bust. Don’t come back.”

‘I thought, “I’m going to be in one of those videos that are called flops at the Olympics. This is terrible.”

The 27-year-old added that she immediately knew she could no longer compete and had to withdraw from the rest of the events.

‘I knew I couldn’t recover. “I knew how long it took for the bends to pass, and I knew it wasn’t overnight,” she explained.

‘I’m going to immediately tell my coach: “I’m done, I’m not doing anymore.” [I felt like]If I survived that, I don’t know how many more I can survive.

‘I always say I’m a cat with nine lives, but I think this was my ninth. I said, ‘I’m done.'”

Simone admitted that she “panicked internally” but “didn’t want to panic in front of” her teammates.

‘I stayed as calm as I could. I didn’t want to scare the girls,” she told Alex.

She remembered her teammates telling her they couldn’t win without her, but she told them, “You’re here because you’re the best in the world.” Go out there and do your job.”

“It was very tough for them mentally, they lost their best player, the veteran,” she added.

‘That’s something I’ll never forgive myself for. I wish I could have been there with them, the way I was expected to be. But then I became their loudest and best cheerleader.

‘At that moment it was like I had to take care of myself. It suited my team. I [knew I] I couldn’t let my pride get in the way of trying to persevere just to compete in the Olympics again. I need to see what was wrong mentally.”

During the interview, Simone also spoke about the moments leading up to the now infamous vault.

She explained that she already had “the twisties” during her training, but she tried to “move past them.”

She said she knew deep down she was “fighting demons” but wanted to keep going for her “teammates.”

“I literally felt like I was fighting with my body and mind to perform these tricks,” she recalls.

At the Olympics, she said they all got “one turn to warm up their vault,” and for her it went terribly wrong.

‘I didn’t feel comfortable. I had no idea where I am, but I’m turning and praying, like,[Please] land on my feet,” she recalled of the warm-up.

‘All the gymnasts there from all the countries [could tell]. My teammates were shocked… I’m trying to convince myself that everything is okay.

‘But everything was not right. But I knew I had to go. I have to score a score no matter what.”

When asked to describe what the twisties felt like, she said it was like a “disconnection between your mind and your body.”

‘The best way I could describe it is: you drive your car every day. “If you woke up one day and had no idea how to drive a car and your legs were going crazy, you had no control over your body – that’s what it feels like,” she said.

‘You’ve been working on something for so long and you no longer have control over it. It’s terrifying.

“Your body is going to try to do something and your mind is going to say, ‘No, you’re not doing that.’

Simone earlier hinted that the incident was due to the sexual abuse she was a victim of pedophile doctor Larry Nassar.

She was one of more than 150 gymnasts abused by former national team doctor Larry during his 30-year career. In 2019, she said she had struggled with thoughts of suicide due to the trauma of the attacks.

Simone made a triumphant return to gymnastics in August – after a two-year hiatus from the sport.

In September she revealed at the Today revealed that she wants to compete in the Games in Paris, France next summer – but admitted that she will have to ‘take care of herself more’ than in Tokyo and that she is undergoing therapy to ‘make sure everything is aligned.’

She explained that she’s going to be “a little more careful with how she does things,” telling the presenters, “I’m making sure my mental and physical [states] are both intact. It will be different, but it will be good.’

During her appearance on Call her Daddy, Simone admitted that she was nervous that something similar could happen again in the upcoming competitions.

She recalled asking her therapist, “Look, it’s the Olympic year, have we figured out why that happened?” Are we sure?’

“It wasn’t just the twisties, it compressed all these things for so many years, it just unfolded. You can’t compress trauma,” she continued.