I am REFUSING to share my unborn baby’s name with my sister after she STOLE my other choices and used them for her own kids

An expectant mother wonders if she’s in the wrong for refusing to share her chosen baby name with her sister.

The unnamed mother-to-be, 38, took to Reddit to lift the lid on her estranged relationship with her 36-year-old sibling.

She explained that she and her sister had become distant after her sibling used the baby names she had been saving for herself for her own children.

Now, in a Reddit thread titled: ‘Am I the hole?’the expectant mother has asked social media users for advice after she rejected her sister’s request to reveal her baby’s name for fear she would take it again.

She explained that although her sister has struggled to conceive for over a decade, she has had no problems.

‘I am (38f) pregnant with my first, and probably only, child. My sister (36f) is also pregnant, but this is her third child and this baby comes several years after her last child, who is eight years old.

‘I had been struggling with fertility problems for years. I couldn’t get pregnant despite trying since I was 24.

‘We have undergone numerous tests, but no clear reason for this has ever been found. We’ve tried to take breaks between attempts, we’ve tried fertility drugs over the years and finally, last year, we went through IVF, which was successful for us,” she said.

She noted that despite not having a baby, she has been picking out monikers for a while.

She noted that when her sister gave birth and couldn’t decide on her baby’s name, she decided to use the nickname her sibling chose.

‘You may be wondering what this has to do with my baby’s name. Well, let me explain. My husband and I had chosen a boy’s and a girl’s name from the moment we started trying to have a baby. These were names we promised to use if we had a baby, and we planned to have at least two children.

‘Those names remained ‘the names’ everywhere. But when my sister was pregnant with her first child, she and her husband had trouble agreeing on a name. She mentioned my and my husband’s chosen names once during my pregnancy and said how lucky we were that we agreed.

‘When her daughter was born, she decided to use the maiden name my husband and I had chosen. And she admitted that this is how the name was decided. She said her husband liked our chosen name and she didn’t think it was bad, so she decided it would be better for them to use it so their baby could have a name.

‘She told me not to look angry (because I admittedly got emotional when she said this) and told me that at least the name would be used. When her son was born, she used the name we chose for the same reason; they couldn’t agree on another name,” the expectant mother said.

After that incident, the two sisters grew further apart until they no longer spoke.

‘She implied quite strongly that she expected me to never have any children that I would use the name for. Then, a few years after her son was born, she made the comment that we agreed so easily that we could find another name if it worked, implying that we couldn’t/shouldn’t use the names anymore,” she added to.

For her soon-to-be baby, the mother said she mixed up the names she originally chose.

However, she revealed that she refused to share them with her sibling.

“We ended up mixing our boy choice and our girl choice for this baby. Both had unisex names and we decided that since we liked all four names, mixing them up wasn’t a big change. My sister won’t like this. But to be honest, we don’t see each other much anymore.

‘She has only reached out more now because we are both pregnant at the same time and she has repeatedly asked about the name we chose. I refused to tell her. But my two brothers know. They felt I should have used the original name as intended and given our sister the middle finger. But they also understand why we chose to mix them,” she wrote.

At the end of the post, she wondered if she was being “petty” for not revealing the name to her sisters.

People then flooded the comments section and rushed to her defense while slamming her sibling.

One person said: ‘NTA. Your sister needs to check her rights…Couldn’t she think of meaningful names for her own children? She used the names you wanted to use, and justified it by saying “well, it’s not like you can use them”. Does she have a history of callousness and tactlessness? I mean sure no one is entitled to a name for their child, but you and your partner chose those names and went through hell to have a child together. She just walks in and acts like she did you both a favor by using those names so they don’t get lost? Doesn’t she understand how horrible and insensitive she has been?

“I agree with your brothers, but I’m glad you and your partner are happy with your new choices. It’s probably best that they spend as little time as possible with their aunt and cousins. All the best with your new baby. Congratulations.’

Someone else wrote: ‘No, I had the same thought, sister cannot be trusted.’

“Please give her a fake name you would never want and let her steal it while you have it safe,” another person added.

Another user added: ‘NTA and if she has to come first I would seriously consider giving her a fake name that you would never want for your own child just to see if she wants to catch you doing it too .’

One person wrote: ‘NTA is none of her business and I wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted to use the name for her child (or something similar)’.

‘NTA. She’s stolen your baby names before and she’ll do it again. Her comments about being childless are also downright disgusting. I wouldn’t even talk to her anymore. Baby names are so personal and private. My siblings never shared their baby names and no one was ever angry. It respects privacy. Only my brother shared it once – with immediate regret – due to stupid comments from his MIL,” another user commented.