Heterosexual father beat up his gay best friend because he had been telling friends that they were enjoying an extra-marital affair

A straight father-of-one beat up his gay best friend in a fit of rage after discovering the victim had told friends he was having an ex-marital affair with him, a court has heard.

Pub chef Thomas Roche, 29, punched married teacher Neil Carr three times in the face during a violent face-to-face confrontation after being told his friend, who is almost twice his age, had developed ‘feelings’ for him .

Police who arrived at Mr. Carr’s apartment last July found Roche drunk outside, slurring his words and waving his arms around.

He continued drinking – even when officers told him to stop – before falling over and smashing a bottle of wine.

When Roche was questioned, he said he did not want his sexuality to be ‘tarnished’ around their small village in Hale, near Liverpool, and said he had just started telling Mr Carr to ‘pack it in’ and stop gossip about him.

Thomas Roche pictured outside Warrington Magistrates Court. He will be sentenced in May

Mr Carr, in his 50s, married to a local DJ and male model and a charity fundraiser for the Liverpool Pride gay festival, suffered red marks on his cheek after the attack.

He later insisted he had been in an “informal relationship” with Roche for three years.

At Warrington Magistrates Court, Roche was convicted of assault after a trial. The court heard the two men met at a nightclub eight years ago and developed a close friendship when they started mixing in the same circle of friends.

The incident happened at 11pm on July 3 last year after Roche drank beer at the home of friend Kerry Dexter and her partner Lesley Amos, who are close neighbors and friends of Mr Carr.

Mrs Dexter told the court: ‘Neil would say he was in a casual relationship with Tom and that he had called me to tell me he had feelings for him.

‘I advised him that he should express them to Tom, but presumably the feelings were not accepted. Tom loved him as a friend, but as far as Tom is concerned he is not gay. So he won’t have that feeling. But Neil took my advice and Tom wasn’t happy about it.’

Pictured is Neil Carr (left) with husband Valentino (right) on their wedding day in 2016

Police who arrived at Mr Carr’s apartment last July found Roche (pictured) drunk outside

She said she and Mrs Amos had comforted Roche when his mother had a heart attack, adding: ‘He got upset and went outside to smoke.

‘We put on music that Tom likes in an attempt to distract him and stop him worrying about his mother, but Lesley said she could hear screaming and saw Tom standing outside with Neil in the doorway. Neil took a test on Lesley and said, “I should have known you would be behind this.”

‘Tom came in and said, ‘Me and Neil were going to have a bottle of wine on the veranda, so I thought they’d have a good chat. The next moment the police were there.’

Ms Amos, a retired Metropolitan Police officer, said Roche and Mr Carr were ‘friends with benefits’, adding: ‘Tom went for a cigarette and the next thing I heard they were shouting at each other.

‘I went outside and said, ‘Please come away, Tom,’ but Neil says to me, ‘F*** off, I might have known it was you.’

‘Tom listened to my warning and I took him back to the flat, but Neil was angry because something had been said between them. Neil later apologized to me. Tom came back in and said, ‘Why did you do that? We started talking.’ I said, “If you like to sit down and talk, okay.”

Pictured (left to right) Neil Carr, Lesley Amos and her partner Kerry Dexter (both of whom gave evidence in the trial) and Thomas Roche

‘He went outside again, said he was going to talk outside on the terrace and then we heard the police arrive.’

The court was played a 999 call Mr Carr made to police in which he was heard saying: ‘I have just been attacked in my own home. I managed to close the door on him. He knocked on the door and attacked me. He used to be a friend.

‘He knocked on the door and wanted to see me, but then started hitting me. He hit me on the head three times. He’s at the door now. If you send the police around, you’ll find him.’

Giving evidence Roche denied having any intimate relationship with Mr Carr but admitted: ‘I love him like a brother and I used to see him two or three times a week and go for a cup of tea.

‘That evening I went to Lesley’s flat because I was upset because my mother had had a heart attack. Then I heard that Neil was going around saying he was having a sexual relationship with me, so I confronted him.

“I had about two or three beers, but I was sober. My intention was to confront him to make it clear to him that I don’t really like the way he went around smearing my sexuality and basically making up lies. It’s a small town and I don’t want things to be told that aren’t true; I am heterosexual.’

He added: ‘I went to his front door and basically told him I wasn’t happy. He then said ‘Wait a minute’ and went back inside and grabbed a bottle of wine. We wanted to go back and have a chat and I just said, ‘Pack it up,’ but there was an argument with raised voices and the police came.”

Thomas Roche (pictured) punched his gay best friend Neil Carr in a fit of rage

When asked why he thought Mr Carr would accuse him of assault, he said: ‘I think he’s quite jealous, I don’t know what.

“I guess he wanted me to be with him. It’s not me. I love women. He’s just a friend.’

Prosecutor Lynne Sayers said: ‘The complainant says that something has been going on between them for about three years and it is not something that someone who is homosexual would make up. Even if that is true, why would the defendant remain friends with someone who uttered such a slur?”

Roche’s lawyer James Edwards said: ‘The friendship with Mr Carr was quite long-standing. Whether it was intimate or not, there is a background and a reason why he confronted him about it.

‘Obviously they had an argument about it, but as far as Mr Roche is concerned, it did not result in violence on his part. Did Mr. Carr get him in trouble because he got rejected?’

Roche will be sentenced in May.