Glamorous LA author Patric Gagne says she’s proud to be a sociopath who’s ‘mostly immune to remorse and guilt’: Reveals she felt little emotion after the birth of her son
From the outside, Patric Gagne seems like an ordinary middle-class mother of two in LA. Her Instagram page, peppered with images of her and her children, projects an image of a typical doting mother.
But there is one important difference: Gagne is a “highly manipulative” sociopath who is “capable of almost anything,” in his own words.
She has now written a memoir detailing how she struggles to identify with many human emotions, honestly sharing that she is “largely immune to remorse and guilt.”
One of her surprising confessions is the apathy she felt about the birth of her son.
‘I wasn’t overwhelmed by emotions. I didn’t get the deep wave of ‘perfect’ love I was promised. …I couldn’t connect with my feelings β I was furious,” Gagne wrote in her memoir in an excerpt shared with the LA Times.
From the outside, Patric Gagne seems like an ordinary middle-class mother of two from LA, but she has known for a long time that she is a sociopath.
One of her surprising confessions is the apathy she felt about the birth of her son, describing her “rage” at not being able to feel the promised “perfect love.”
She has now written a memoir detailing her struggle to identify with many human emotions, honestly sharing that she is “largely immune to remorse and guilt.”
According to the Cleveland Clinic, the 48-year-old is one of approximately 13.7 million Americans who are sociopaths.
The clinic describes sociopathy, or antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), as a mental health condition, “which can affect the way you think and interact with others.”
‘It is common for people with ASPD to show a lack of respect for others, to break the law, to ignore the consequences of their actions or to refuse to take responsibility.
‘ASP can be dangerous because you are at high risk of causing physical or emotional harm to yourself and those around you.’
Although she is eager to dispel the popular perception of sociopaths promoted in the media and pop culture, Gagne admits that her early years were marked by a desire for violence and crime.
βThis impulse felt like an unrelenting pressure that expanded and permeated my entire self,β Gagne wrote The Wall Street Journal.
‘The longer I tried to ignore it, the worse it got. My muscles would tense, my stomach would tie itself into knots. Tighter. Tighter.
‘It was claustrophobic, like I was trapped in my brain. Trapped in a void.’
One of the first instances she remembers is when she stabbed a child with a pencil in second grade.
Or the time she stole a classmate’s pink hairpin from her hair, not because she coveted the item, but to help cope with the “nothing” she felt.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, the 48-year-old is one of approximately 13.7 million Americans who are sociopaths.
Although she is eager to dispel the popular perception of sociopaths promoted in the media and pop culture, Gagne admits that her early years were marked by a desire for violence and crime.
It wasn’t just childhood: While studying at UCLA, she would often break into houses for the sheer thrill of it, or take joy rides before returning the car – sometimes with a full tank of gas.
Gagne is keen to point out that not all sociopaths are “dangerous criminals.” She hopes her candid confessions will help others who have “limited access” to their emotions.
She has described her experiences as a young child feeling no remorse after being caught stealing no matter how hard she tried, but she also had no fear of the consequences.
After years of studying and researching the connection between not feeling remorse, anxiety, apathy and stress and the need to “behave destructively,” Gagne was able to diagnose and control her impulses and become a wife and mother.
She studied the condition for years, did intensive therapy and earned a doctorate. in psychology before coming to terms with her disorder and realizing that sociopaths aren’t “evil,” “evil,” or “crazy,” they just don’t process feelings and emotions as well as others.
βFor more than a century, society has viewed sociopathy as untreatable and irreparable,β Gagne wrote.
‘Those affected have been vilified and shunned by mental health professionals who either do not understand or choose to ignore the fact that sociopathy β like many personality disorders β occurs on a spectrum.’
Scientists are still unsure what causes sociopathy, which psychologists now more commonly refer to as antisocial personality disorder.
‘I don’t care what other people think. I’m not interested in morals,’ Gagne admits, but reveals how understanding her condition has helped her control her impulses
Gagne has managed to become a wife and mother, but sometimes still struggles to understand the neurotypical view of the world
They believe people are more likely to develop the disorder if they have a family history of sociopathy or have had a traumatic experience in childhood.
As an adult, when Gagne shares her diagnosis with others, they sometimes tell her their own, often disturbing, secrets.
Gagne said The New York Times that about two years ago she was sitting across from a man at a dinner party and when she mentioned that she is a sociopath, he said to her, “You know, I often have thoughts about killing my wife.”
She asked him to tell her more, and he said, βI’ve really thought about it. I’ve been contacting people about hiring someone to kill her.β
People assume Gagne is sympathetic to their plight, she told the newspaper, because they think she could identify with them.
The term sociopath was not formally recognized as a disorder until the 1930s, when it was called psychopathy, but was still not widely discussed until 1952, when the term changed to sociopathy.
A person with sociopathy is not always easy to spot – they may appear friendly and charming, but their lack of conscience and empathy, their disregard for following rules and other societal norms, their reckless disregard for their own safety and their impulsive behavior and aggressive tendencies make them stand out.
‘I don’t care what other people think. I’m not interested in morals,β Gagne admits.
βI’m not interested, period. Rules play no role in my decision-making. I’m capable of almost anything.’