Psychologist reveals why ghosting is the WORST type of break-up for your brain

Those immersed in the dating pool will be all too familiar with ghosting – when someone ends a romantic relationship by suddenly withdrawing from all communication, without explanation.

A poll of 5,000 people by Forbes Health found that 76 percent of participants had been ghosted or ghosted themselves while dating.

But the fact that ghosting is common doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, and moving on can seem impossible after ghosting.

Dr. Roxy Zarrabi, a licensed psychologist in Chicago, explained why ghosting is particularly difficult to cure.

The first reason is that not knowing the reason why someone ghosted you can be harder on the brain compared to knowing the answer.

This is because when faced with the unknown, our brains crave certainty to protect us from potential dangers.

In other words, we go around in circles wondering what happened or what we did wrong.

Not knowing leads to fear and can lead us to the worst-case scenario.

Dr. Zarrabi said, “You may find yourself fixated on outlandish theories and trying to find the elusive missing piece of the puzzle to arrive at a solution, which only makes you feel worse and distracts you from the feelings of sadness that ultimately need to be processed. to proceed.’

Ghosting is a form of social rejection, she added. Previous research has shown that when someone feels rejected, pain receptors in the brain light up in the same area as physical pain.

This explains why people going through a breakup in which they feel particularly rejected often report feeling physically hurt.

Ghosting is also particularly painful because it can reopen a previous abandonment issue or negative belief you have about yourself or others.

People who have endured neglect, previous neglect, betrayal or loss will find it particularly difficult to cope with ghosting, Dr. Zarrabi said, because ghosting can take you back to old incidents and make you feel like you are expressing trauma relives the past.

If you have an underlying belief that you are unlovable or that everyone you love will eventually leave, it can feel like your worst fear is coming true, even if the ghosting is actually a reflection of the other person, and not yours.

Another reason why ghosting is harmful is because it can lead people to blame themselves.

Without readily available answers, you might look inward and blame yourself.

Dr. However, Zarrabi warned that this “can lead to a path of endless wonder and suffering, which will only worsen your pain and strain your relationship with yourself.”

Ghosting can also lead to never-ending self-doubt. If you have been let down, you can start analyzing your last interactions with this person and see the conversations in a different light.

“You may start to question your reality, including your own judgment and what signs you may have missed,” Dr. Zarrabi said. ‘These questions can quickly turn into unhealthy worrying, which prevents you from moving forward.’