The misery of an open marriage: X-rated polyamory memoir reveals millionaire Park Slope wife’s agony as husband frolics with lovers, while she endures bad sex in pay-hourly motel and man who ‘forgets’ to use a condom
A millionaire Park Slope mother in an open marriage has laid bare her emotional turmoil – from jealously raging while her husband romped with his ex to enduring bad sex in seedy, paid-for motels.
Molly Roden Winter, 51, opened her marriage to her husband of ten years Stewart, with whom she had two children, in 2008.
Now the English teacher turned bestselling author has chronicled the highs and lows of her polyamorous marriage in painful detail in a new bestseller, “More: A Memoir of Open Marriage.”
But instead of a carefree journey of sexual discovery, some reviews have labeled the memoir “sad,” with Roden Winter spending much of the book in tears as she struggled with the idea of her husband sleeping with other women .
Molly Roden Winter has chronicled the highs and lows of her polyamorous marriage in a new memoir
The English teacher opened her marriage to her husband Stewart, to whom she had been married for almost ten years
Roden Winter, who lives with her family in Brooklyn, recalls how she was the first to have a marital affair after meeting a younger man when she felt burdened by raising two young children.
She is in her mid-thirties and describes herself as ‘the nose-wiper, the one who does the dishes, the whiner in residence’.
After an exhausting day of childcare at home and frustrated with her husband working late, Roden Winter went for a walk and ended up having a drink with a friend.
In a bar she meets a younger man and starts a flirtatious conversation.
When she tells the conversation to her husband Stewart, 56, later that evening, he is not angry, but encourages her to sleep with the new acquaintance.
But while she initially enjoys the excitement of taking a new lover, Roden Winter is tormented when her husband asks if he can now sleep with his ex-girlfriend Lena.
“The thought of them together makes me feel like I’ve fallen to the bottom of a well,” she writes.
“I’m not sure,” I say, still not looking at him. I’m afraid I’ll cry if I do that.’
She reluctantly agrees, but asks, “Doesn’t he know I’m lying?” Not true?”
“Roden Winter Cries in Hotel Rooms on Work Trips, She Cries in Hotel Rooms on Sex Trips, She Cries in Her Own Park Slope Home,” a review of the memoir
The couple has the $4.3 million Park Slope brownstone in Brooklyn, New York
The English teacher turned bestselling author has chronicled the highs and lows of her polyamorous marriage in a new memoir, ‘More’
One of the author’s lovers ‘forgets’ to use a condom, while another insists on meeting at a motel for hourly pay
Stewart soon begins seeing a series of other women, causing Roden Winter to become consumed with jealousy and occasionally ask to renew the marriage.
“Molly was perhaps more critical than I was at that moment,” Stewart told the New York Times, describing his early polyamorous dating experience as being “at a salad bar.”
Meanwhile, her own sexual exploits often leave her feeling used and unhappy as she surfs various online dating websites in search of new partners.
One of the author’s lovers “forgets” to use a condom, while another insists on meeting at a paid hourly motel.
Other interactions are more meaningful but later end badly, with one “ghosting” her and the other dumping her when he discovers she has her husband’s permission to see other men.
“The bad sex taught me a lot more about what makes sex good,” she told the Times.
“I also wanted to tell the truth about how hard it was.”
The mother of two eventually begins therapy and diagnoses herself as a ‘people pleaser’ with low self-esteem.
“It’s like I’m only responding to what men want,” she tells the therapist.
The memoir ends in 2018, when Roden Winter’s boyfriend, whose wife had recently divorced him, broke up with him after refusing to end her own marriage.
“From my point of view, it looks like Stewart is just having fun walking down the open wedding path,” she explains.
‘We are here because I don’t want to have an open marriage anymore. But Stewart did,” Roden Winter later tells their relationship therapist.
At one point she confronts Stewart: “If you want to protect me,” I shout, “don’t make me do this all the time!”
‘Stop dating Kiwi and anyone else and just be with me! Do not you understand that? I can not do this anymore!’
After being convinced to continue with polyamory, Roden Winter has two threesomes, with two separate boyfriends, but admits she doesn’t enjoy either of them.
The memoir ends in 2018, when Roden Winter’s boyfriend, whose wife had recently divorced him, broke up with him after refusing to end her own marriage.
Winter was heartbroken and described crying in Stewart’s arms.
Roden Winter eventually goes to a therapist and discovers that she has low self-esteem
Stewart Winter enjoyed having sex with his ex-girlfriend during his open marriage
One review of the memoir: “Roden Winter cries in hotel rooms on work trips, she cries in hotel rooms on sex trips, she cries in her own Park Slope home.”
It concludes: ‘For every orgasm scene there are three sobbing fits.’
Other reviews were more generous, with the New York Times describing the book as “breathtakingly candid” as she “shrugged off internalized sexism and her tendency to put the needs of others before her own.”
Roden Winter herself claims that being polyamorous has made her feel like she is seen as something other than a wife and mother.
‘We expect mothers to be selfless. And ‘selfless’ is often seen as the opposite of selfish, but I want to make it a new word: ‘self-fulfilled,'” she told The Times of London.
“You should have a complete self, you shouldn’t give up yourself to be a mother. I don’t think that helps children either.’
She added that her marriage was “strong”, saying: “We’re having the best sex we’ve ever had in the 24 years we’ve been married, so that’s encouraging.”
Jessica Fearn, a psychotherapist for people in open relationships, noted that books by mothers in open marriages are still very rare – perhaps because they are so busy.
She told the New York Times: “Her story, which is about what it means for a mother to be erotically charged, I haven’t seen that story enough.”
Roden Winter has also discussed her experiences in an open marriage on the social media platform TikTok.
In a candid video, she discusses how she deals with jealousy towards her husband’s friends and partners.
“There were a lot of years where I didn’t handle it so gracefully,” she admits.
‘It was really difficult, but it has become much easier for me.’
‘There is a kind of jealousy and possessiveness within romantic relationships that we consider natural and correct.
‘But we don’t extend that to friendships that aren’t romantic.
“I would never say to any of my friends, ‘It’s very important to me that you just be friends with me.’
“It’s not exactly the same, but that’s how it feels to me now.”
Roden Winter is still polyamorous with a long-term restaurateur boyfriend, who has a wife who has a girlfriend of her own. the Times reported.
Her husband Stewart has a girlfriend of eight years.