I’m a relationship counselor and here are four toxic things you should never say to your partner, but probably do all the time
- Jeff Guenther of Oregon said never to use the word “always.”
- People will become defensive if they are told they “always” do something, he said
- READ MORE: Expert reveals why ‘no contact’ after a breakup is good for you
A relationship therapist has revealed the four things he would never do to his partner.
Jeff Guenther, an Oregon-based relationship counselor, told his 2.8 million followers on TikTok about the thoughtless comments his clients make to their partners that are sure to create resentment.
The first thing Guenther said he would never do is give a partner the silent treatment.
‘That can be incredibly triggering for people who had parents who punished them in that way. It can be traumatizing,” he said.
Never give your partner the silent treatment, said relationship therapist Jeff Guenther
‘It’s childish and mean and designed to spread fear. I detest it.’
Many of Guenther’s followers asked in the comments how to prevent their partner from getting the silent treatment if they have a habit of withdrawing from conflict, to which he advised, “Ask for space and let them know you need it to express themselves.” to feel better so you can reconnect. .’
The next thing Guenther fails to do at all costs is “tell them why my ex was better than them.”
‘That’s just unnecessary messing up and what’s the point of that?
“You’ll open a can of worms and your sweetheart will constantly think you’re comparing them to your last partner all the time.”
He added, “If you have to do that, which you shouldn’t, keep it to yourself.”
Gunther it is also not recommended to regularly tease or put down your partner.
“Light teasing can be okay if you both agree to it, but if making your partner feel bad about themselves is the main way you show your love, it will one day backfire when he or she starts to feel quite insecure about himself.’
And finally, he warned against speaking in extremes and saying things like “You’re always like that” or “You never do that.”
“Words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ always make someone defensive,” Guenther said. “It’s never a good way to start a conversation, believe me.”
“And 99 percent of the time it’s just not true that they always or never do anything,” he added.