I divorced my stay-at-home wife after she refused to go back to work – she treated me like an ATM and wanted me to give her childcare breaks

A frustrated husband has revealed how he divorced his stay-at-home wife after she ‘treated him like an ATM’ after the birth of their first child.

The anonymous man, 30, from the US, shared his dilemma on Reddit’s Am I the A****** forum.

In his post, the man asked fellow Reddit users whether he had done the right thing in ending his three-year marriage.

He explained how he first met his wife in 2019 when they were both high school students.

Reflecting on the beginning of their relationship, the man said his partner had been “smart, ambitious and driven” when they first met, saying they bonded over education and hobbies.

After graduating, the couple got a good job in the same city and started their life together.

However, the man said their relationship changed after the birth of their first child.

The couple had previously agreed to send them to daycare once they were six months old so that the couple could return to work and equally share financial and parental responsibilities in the household.

Once they reached the six-month mark, the man claims his wife backed out of their agreement and kept making excuses.

He wrote: ‘Her argument was that if I got more work we could afford a single-income household. And she will save us money as a stay-at-home parent.

“(She argued) it was also better for our child.”

As the breadwinner, the father says he would have to work more hours and ultimately spend less time with his child.

He even offered his concerned wife an alternative solution, in that the couple could “couple” and alternate shifts so that at least one parent could stay home with the baby, but she refused.

He added: ‘She refuses and says this doesn’t work for her and that as a mother she needs to be with her baby all the time.’

In addition, the man said tensions began to rise even further when his wife asked him to help more around the house so she could take breaks.

The man continued, “She quit her job. She took care of the baby during my work hours and wanted me to take care of cooking dinner during the week and cooking, cleaning, and baby care on the weekends because “stay-at-home moms deserve breaks too.”

He added that, according to his wife, it became his “duty” to care for her and her “right” to stay home with the child.

He said, “I had to clean the house, cook all the meals, prepare the meals for the week, do the laundry, mow the lawn, etc. I only had about six hours of time with the baby. Maximum 12 hours per week. I worked more than 80 hours a week in the office and another 28 hours in the household.’

He said the problems stemmed from the fact that he also wanted more time with the child, without the extra responsibilities.

The man admitted that the dynamics in their marriage had caused him to resent his wife, and after trying to take his frustrations out on her several times, he filed for divorce.

The court reportedly awarded 50:50 custody to each parent, and the man moved back in with his mother, who offered to care for her grandchild while her son worked.

As a result of the divorce, the man’s ex-wife is “finding it difficult to live paycheck to paycheck” and refuses her ex-mother-in-law’s help to care for the child while she also works, due to her lingering resentment over the divorce. while the toddler is now enrolled in childcare.

He went on to say that at the end of his marriage he felt like an ‘cash machine’ and ‘domestic worker’ in the house.

Nearly 6,000 comments poured in from sympathetic Reddit users condemning the woman’s behavior and praising the man for his persistent efforts to repair the marriage before it ended.

One person wrote: ‘Everyone needs to be on the same page when children are involved and you clearly aren’t. You are NTA because you don’t want to be the breadwinner, cook, cleaner and weekend nanny – obviously not.

‘Where should there be time for your well-deserved break? I’m sorry for your child that this ended in divorce, but you have tried many times to communicate your desires.’

Another says from experience, “Childcare sounds like a great option until you face the reality of having to hand your baby over to a stranger. Six months is very young.

‘Especially when you start to price it and realize that even with a modest salary you barely earn enough to cover the costs of childcare. Her salary determines everything.

‘If she earns 80-120,000, then maybe that is justified. If she makes 40-60k then probably not, especially if you have another child. This was our scenario. We did the math and it clearly made more sense to let me stay home for three to five years until the kids went to public school.

‘Life throws a spanner in the works, especially when it comes to children and family. Sometimes we have to adapt to new scenarios. I was never meant to be the stay-at-home parent, but her career took off and mine didn’t.

“I rolled with the punches and it turned out great. Maybe there are other issues in your marriage, but this alone shouldn’t have sunk the boat IMO.’

From a woman’s perspective, one user said: ‘Six months is pretty young to put a child in daycare. I understand that I want to wait.’

“Brother, she unilaterally changed the entire nature of your relationship and put all the work on you without your consent,” one supporter said.

Meanwhile, another man revealed plans to divorce his wife – because she believed he was a danger to their child due to his clumsiness.