More than just fun? Three British mothers on their children’s skincare obsessions

TThe Christmas wish list that Keshara’s daughter handed her in 2023 bore little resemblance to the list of times gone by. This time there were no requests for toys. Instead, her child had created an extensive, painstaking list of skin care products: expensive eye creams, anti-aging serums, drops and oils with ingredients like retinol and polypeptides. One of the items, a Drunk Elephant eye serum to “tackle fine lines and wrinkles and reduce puffiness”, retails for £56. Keshara’s daughter is nine.

“I asked how she knew about it – she said it was all on TikTok and everyone knows about it,” Keshara said. “I told her: no way, you are really too young, it is not appropriate and very expensive.”

Keshara, a 36-year-old nursing home worker in Stirling, soon discovered she wasn’t the only one answering her child’s extensive requests for high-quality skincare products. When she came across other parents at Superdrug in the run-up to Christmas, they told her that “their 10-year-old daughters suddenly want very expensive products that they have seen on Instagram and TikTok”.

Dermatologists warn that children are influenced on social media and warn that anti-aging products designed for adults can damage children’s sensitive skin. Although Keshara’s daughter doesn’t have social media of her own, she watches TikTok videos on YouTube and when she’s with friends.

The 36-year-old instead bought her daughter cheaper products meant for sensitive skin and gave her one of her own SPF moisturizers to use. Despite always hating early mornings, these days the nine-year-old often wakes up at 6am to do her skincare regimen before school, spending an hour on it every night.

“She has regular Google meetings with her friends where she talks about products and influencers that I have no idea about,” says Keshara. “She uses language about prevention. She says, “If I don’t have it, my skin will have problems,” and “The sooner you start, the better,” because she heard it online. We told her that you can’t believe everything you see online… If they’re trying to sell a product, they’ll say anything.”

While the nine-year-old has always been fascinated by makeup, her mother worries that her interest in beauty has increased recently. “Her interest in skin care is more about beauty enhancement and ‘fixing’ problem areas than just pleasure. I fear that as my daughter reaches pre-puberty, she will face increased pressure on women and young people to look perfect and her self-esteem will be compromised.”

Although she never seemed interested in skin care before, Sarah’s 13-year-old daughter also requested an extensive list of products for Christmas, including items from Sol De Janeiro and Drunk Elephant. After talking to another mom who was given a similar list, she bought her a Sol De Janeiro body cream and body mist, but drew the line at other items. “These are products that I would not buy myself, they are too expensive. And I don’t think it’s healthy for a 13-year-old to spend an hour on her beauty regime,” says Sarah, who is 45 and works in HR in Surrey.

But after her daughter went shopping with friends during the January sales, she came home with even more products, including an eye cream. “She doesn’t think she needs it, I think she’s just copying.”

Sarah believes there is a social component to her daughter’s renewed interest in skin care. “It gives her a common interest with friends. I think they are very attracted to the look of the packaging, the pastel colors.” Her daughter and her friends “spend hours on FaceTime calls, organizing the products on the shelves, setting them up and talking about them.” Every night she uses two makeup removers, a cleanser, moisturizer, eye cream, and sometimes face masks and jade rollers.

“I worry about self-analyzing and constantly comparing,” says Sarah. “I can see how it sets you down a path where you become obsessed with how you look – I fear this will lead to anxiety about appearance and weight.”

And it’s not just young girls. On a trip to London last summer, Kate’s 14-year-old son insisted he needed retinol. “At first I had no idea what retinol was – then I said it was something I should be using, not him,” says Kate, 55. “He insisted he needed it and only changed his mind when a stranger stopped to support what I said – it was completely unnecessary for a child to use anti-aging products.”

Kate, from Hampshire, said her son became interested in skin care when he was 12, and uses moisturizing and exfoliating products, and lately an essential oil marketed to prevent hair loss, despite not using them need.

She believes it started with social media, where he consumes self-improvement content. “He works out at the gym, has been reading a lot of self-improvement books and YouTube,” she said, adding that he is on Snapchat and Instagram but has deleted TikTok and stopped gaming as part of his efforts to “better” himself . “I supported it in moderation, while advising him not to go too far.

“I’m glad he’s interested in taking care of himself; there are so many worse things he could do. But it is worrying that children are getting the message that they need products they don’t need.

“It’s quite disturbing that children are being led to believe they need it.”