Sue Perkins and Anna Richardson reveal they didn’t speak ‘for a long while’ as they discuss their ‘excruciatingly painful’ split for the first time

Sue Perkins and Anna Richardson have revealed they haven’t spoken for a long time after their split.

The comedian, 54, and the TV presenter, 53, first opened up about their split in a joint appearance on Anna’s podcast It can’t be just me.

The exes went their separate ways over Christmas 2020 after eight years together and have now discussed their transition from romance to friendship.

They admitted they had gone through a period of no contact and Sue told how they had to let go of the ‘excruciatingly painful’ problems they had during their relationship before they could become friends.

Anna said on the podcast: ‘We haven’t spoken,’ with Sue adding: ‘Yes, for a long time.’

Sue then explained how they managed to remain friends after their split, saying they had to “detonate” the familiar to rebuild their relationship as friends.

The former Great British Bake Off host also stressed the importance of not looking back on past arguments and forgiving before moving on.

She said, “You have to explode parts of the known to grow new things, other ways of being, that come from friendship. And you must also forgive what has happened, do not do history lessons.

‘Once you have that space, the history lessons stop. What I mean by history lessons is, in a nutshell, you go from talking about whatever is upsetting you at the moment to going back to all the other things in your past that have been ignition points.

“Our breakup and split and time apart and everything has led to us not teaching history anymore. We can forgive and just go, it’s all okay.”

Sue said it wasn’t an easy road to becoming friends, but said they can now talk openly about everything, including their dating life.

She continued, “I think a period of no contact was good, and then slowly expressing the things that had been unbearably painful and realizing they were never going to be resolved, so letting them go.

“If you hold on to the things that made you sad and angry, we’re just going to repeat that, but in a non-sexual context. So we both let things go in our own ways, and of course it helped that other things came in, other distractions.”

To which Anna said: ‘That is certainly what I have missed: the love but also the fun. When you have that with someone, when you say, “You know, let’s let go of all that stuff,” then ultimately our core is love. We understand each other.’

“All that love can turn into a friendship, I really believe that,” Sue added.

After their split at Christmas 2020, news of their breakup became public in June 2021, when it was said that the couple parted ways with “heavy hearts.”

MailOnline exclusively revealed at the time that no one else was involved in Sue and Anna’s decision to split.

A source said: ‘The split is as amicable as these things can ever be. After so long together, it was not an easy decision and they both did it with heavy hearts.

‘But Sue and Anna are determined to remain friends and keep in touch. No one else is involved and now the pair are throwing themselves into the work.”

It was reported that Anna had moved out of their £2 million shared home in north London to live in Staffordshire to be close to her mother, who cares for her father who suffers from dementia.

The couple are said to have split following Sue’s reluctance to start a family, with Anna previously revealing she had been thinking about adopting a child and felt ‘time was running out’ to do so.

A friend of the former couple said at the time: ‘It’s really sad that they’ve split but it’s been on the agenda for a while. We know Anna really wanted to be a mother, but Sue felt it wasn’t the right time for her.

‘She enjoys traveling and working on different projects and she appreciates that lifestyle and the responsibility of parenthood do not mix well.’

It was also claimed that Anna and Sue struggled to live together during lockdown as they are both ‘workaholics’ who are used to their independence.

After their divorce, Anna admitted that ‘you never get used to heartbreak’ and said she was ‘filled with dread’ about the future.

In May 2022, she told OK! Magazine: ‘I don’t know if you become more resilient as you get older, but heartbreak is still that mystery that needs to be solved, and how to get over it and become stronger.’

The pair first started dating in 2013 after meeting at a Halloween party following Anna’s divorce from her partner of 18 years, Charles Martin.

Speaking to The Telegraph in 2015, Anna explained that she had known Sue for years, but it was meeting her at a party after her divorce from Charles that made her realize she felt more than just friendship.

She gushed: “When I got invited to the party I was told Sue was going and I felt, what, a shudder? A spark of interest? And I thought, “Hmm, that’s interesting.” There was something in the air.

‘It was a special evening. I danced on the table. It felt like a defining moment in my life.”

At the time, she was reluctant to label herself regarding her sexuality, having previously spent almost twenty years with a man.

‘For me it’s just a matter of me being who I am. I’m not interested in being labeled gay or straight, my sexuality is fluid. I just happened to fall in love with a woman, it’s as simple as that,” she explained.