Cathy was stalked for a decade by a jilted boyfriend. Now she reveals the many red flags Aussies should look out for

A woman who was stalked for a decade by her deranged ex-boyfriend is warning others about the signs that could keep them out of the clutches of an abusive man.

Cathy Oddie, 44, survived two abusive relationships, was stalked for a decade, raped by a stranger and several more times by a senior police officer.

On Saturday, Ms Oddie will take to the stage in Ballarat, west of Melbourne, alongside former police officer Narelle Fraser to expose her horrific experiences at the hands of men and the Victorian justice system in the hope no one else puts up with what she went through.

Ms Oddie has been waving the flag for survivors of domestic abuse for years and gave evidence on the subject at the 2015 Royal Commission.

“Sometimes I'd come from somewhere I'd been with my friends and he'd just hang around — preventing me from leaving or going where I wanted to,” she said The Courier this week.

“When he messaged that he had turned the corner, my heart absolutely sank.

'I was getting messages like “Your lights are out – where are you?”. My anxiety levels went through the roof.”

Ms Oddie said there had been warning signs that she ignored in the early stages of her relationships, which turned sour.

In 2001, while studying at university, Ms Oddie had only recently turned 20 when she made her first mistake by ignoring her first impression of a young suitor.

'My first impression was not good. He smoked a hookah. Actually, I should have followed my instincts that very first day,” she said.

Another red flag should have been raised when her new boyfriend immediately became possessive of her.

'It all started when he alienated all my friends. My housemates moved out as a result – and he moved in,” she said.

Then came the violence.

Her boyfriend pulled a box cutter on her during a minor argument – another flag she ignored.

Like many a cowardly criminal, the friend apologized and declared he would never do it again.

Another flag.

Soon the guy was there selling drugs from her home.

By the time her boyfriend brought guns home, she was in too deep and couldn't escape.

“If you leave me, I'll kill you and bury you in the backyard. I'm going after your friends and family,” Ms. Oddie said.

It was a threat that she believed the brute was more than capable of acting on, causing her to return home after failed attempts to leave him.

“I'll never forget the multiple occasions where he dropped me to the ground and kicked me – and his two younger brothers who lived with us afterwards watched and did absolutely nothing,” she said.

“It was a relationship in which I had experienced him holding me hostage at gunpoint, breaking my bones – and choking me multiple times to the point of unconsciousness.”

On Ms Oddie's 23rd birthday, she was barricaded in a bedroom playing triple-0 while her boyfriend threatened her with a gun.

Her experiences with Victoria Police in the early 2000s continue to haunt her to this day.

“They didn't even ask about the gun I described to the triple-0 call-taker,” she said.

When the relationship finally ended, the stalking began.

What followed was a decade of fear and intimidation at the hands of a man determined to make her suffer.

Mrs Oddie's torment was compounded by an unsympathetic police force, too overworked or too jaded to intervene.

“I told them I needed protection – and they told me to go to Broadmeadows Magistrates Court and to the Family Violence Registrar,” she said.

'I could not believe it. I had just reported a death threat. Why didn't the police let me sit down and take a statement? This happened again and again. Nothing happened to (him).”

Fed up with being a victim, Ms Oddie changed the system that had failed her, helping to implement regulatory changes.

'The Stalker' takes place at the City Oval Bowling Club in Ballarat at 6.30pm.